(Closed) Getting Married Filipino style

posted 6 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hello and grats! I am a Fil-Am bride, and my fiance is Scotch-Irish/Eastern European Jew, and we are getting married May 2013. I too, have always kind of done my own thing, so since I am not a practicing Catholic, nor is Catholic (dad’s side) or Jewish (mom’s side), we decided to get married at my college’s historic non-denominational chapel. This was a compromise with my mom, since she desparately wanted her only daughter to get married in the church, but I refused, and after we fought about me getting married outside, I came around to the idea of getting married at the chapel. It’s historic, and used to be our university’s library from 1890-1914, which I thought was perfect, since we met at our jobs at a bookstore, 5 years ago.

We are planning to write the ceremony; are you doing a church/Catholic ceremony with the Fil. traditions, or something else? I found once on this board someone who did a ceremony outside the church incorporating the traditions, but I haven’t been able to locate it again. Along with the fil .traditions, we are breaking a glass at the end to honor his mother’s heritage.

My colors (as of now) are pale pink and shades of pink and slate grey. I think your colors sound amazing! I love, love color. It’s ironic with me, because I wear barely any pink but I really loved the colors togehter and I think it’ll work well with our venue. I have the venue and chapel booked, but otherwise, i am taking it ‘easy’ but trying to get a hold of picking up the little things here and there that’ll add up otherwise.

Likewise, my guestlist is blowin’ up. his side is 30 people, and my family is um 120! add in our friends as well, it’s getting long.

We are only having two sets of sponsors- one from my side, and one from his side. I don’t htink i’ll have them on the invite, but we’ll have a program to explain everyone’s role.

My best friend just tied the knot this past Sunday, so i’m riding a wedding-happy high, and I just want to get cracking on the planning.

Post # 5
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m not Filipina, but my fiance is Filipino – 100%.

We’re not getting married in a church, but I still want to incorporate some of the Filipino traditions that his mom told me about into our short ceremony.

I’m not quite sure I understand the sponsor thing – I know some churches assign sponsors… I thought it was the godparents…but some of the posts talk about 8+ sponsors?? Wow… 

We’re a bit older, but this is our first marriage. I’ll be 40 this year, he’ll be 38.

Post # 6
Member
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hi ladies I’m not filipina but my Fiance is Filipino/portuguese mix. i was really wanting to incorporate the Filipino traditions of the candle, the veil, the cord and the coins into our mass. (i’m doing it as a surprise for my FMIL)

QueenG- I’m curious about what the difference is between a regular wedding invite and a filipino invite?

I’m of italian background so its all new to me…..hehehe and my Fiance seems to know less than I do about traditional wedding customs!!!

 

 

Post # 7
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@cmsgirl:  Filipino wedding invite usually include the names of the Primary sponsors (Ninong & Ninangs), Secondary Sponsors (Veil, Cord & Candle).

Post # 8
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@pandapab:  Sponsors are (Ninong/Ninang) AKA godparents for the wedded couple.

Their job is to give support, advices for the couples throughout their married life.

EDIT: traditional Filipino families think the more sponsors, the better. Don’t let 8 wow you. My parents picked 17 pairs for me LOL good thing only less than half can make it or it will be dawn by the time we kiss! haha

Post # 9
Member
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsDotC:  Thanks…I didn’t know about the invite thing…..think we will be keeping the invite traditional…as I dont think the italian and portuguese side would get it.

I will however be explaining the Candle/viel/cord in the order of service mass book for those non fil. guests.

I’m doing it more for his mum and in honour of his lola whom I never met.(and wish i had met)….and also really want to celebrate the coming together and the influences of both our heritages….

D you know of anything else that is traditional for a wedding……(dont want to do the money dance thing)

 

Post # 10
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsDotC Wow!! 17 pairs?? I thought it was godparents…but of course, you usually only have one set once you’re baptised….I guess when you get married they want more, huh? πŸ˜‰

I’m sure my godfather won’t show up to my wedding – he’s a horrible god father…but my godmother, bless her heart, already bought a dress – and she’s not very healthy and is bound to a wheelchair!!! I know my fiance’s god mother will also attend… I’ve already made sure to order corsages for both of them! πŸ˜‰

I was happy that his mother isn’t set on us doing the ceremony in the church. There is a beautiful ‘chapel’ at our reception hall that I will use…it will make things much easier on our out of town guests having everything at one place. I do want to do a few of the Filipino traditions… though I think we will do a sand ceremony instead of a candle… that way we have something nice to keep and display… I also want to keep the ceremony short, so I don’t know how much we can incorporate??

Post # 11
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cmsgirl:  There’s also something about coins – these coins are blessed and then given to the bride by the groom… of course, I don’t know all of the details on that – but it seems pretty easy….I think we’ll do that one and maybe the cord… I dunno, he’s not much help – he just keeps saying, ‘keep it normal. keep it simple.’ lol… I refuse to have a totally traditional wedding…I want it to be OUR wedding, not everyone else’s wedding, ya know?

Post # 12
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@pandapab:  ohhhh NO! baptismal godparents have nothing to do with the wedding party. Your godparents for your wedding are brand new people. Traditional Filipino parents usually don’t allow your existing godparents from your baptismal be the same godparents for the wedding. I KNOW, haha!!

By The Way, traditional Filipino godparents are usually more than 1 pair too. LOL

You can do sand ceremony too. Apparently, weddings in the Philippines these days now adopt that culture too but never (or at least I know of) had scratched off the veil, cord & candle so far. But it’s your day and you’re still the boss πŸ™‚

My uncle 100% pinoy is marrying an Irish this summer. They’re not having a sponsors but my aunt insisted the veil, cord & candle. LOL But again, it all depends on you how you want to do it cus you’re the boss, remember? ;P

Ceremony-wise, veil, cord & candle alone takes atleast 20 mins if you’re having a Filipino priest as they go through a prayer.

For reference: http://www.mybarong2.com/ceremony-art-1075.html

 

Post # 13
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@cmsgirl:  I noticed not a lot of people do money dance in the Philippines these days.

You can have a coin bearer if you want. Usually carried by a little boy attendant as a symbol of wealth to your marriage. They’re also called us “unity coins” or sometimes Arrae and they look like this: 

Here’s what it’s for: http://www.mybarong2.com/ceremony-art-1075.html

 

Post # 14
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m a Flippy. He’s Swedish-German by heritage. I was born/raised Catholic, but we’re having an outdoor Christian ceremony.

We’re in our mid-30’s, so we’re planning and paying for everything, with minimal input from other people. Ain’t that great!

I have a Filipino designer custom-creating the gowns for the whole bridal party. (The one thing I love about Filipino weddings!) I’m odd-sized, so shopping off the rack can be quite painful. Laughing

My cousin flew in from Manila last night with my first package: my reception dress made of pinya cocoon silk (a “surprise” present for my mom, who insisted I should have 2 dresses for an 8-hour event *sigh*), hair accessories,  cathedral veil,  leg garter,  second veil (for the veil ceremony),  cord, arrae, and 3 pillows.

You should have seen my guy’s face when he saw the 3 pillows! (We only have 1 ring bearer.) I had to explain that the whole package comes with all these accessories and the gowns will also have coordinating pouch/clutch bags.

So now I have to sell the veil, cord, arrae and 2 pillows, as we won’t be using them. We’d like the ceremony to be short and sweet, so we’ll just have the string trio playing, the vows and the sand ceremony (because the jar of sand would make a nice keepsake).

I love the traditional Filipino invitations, but we can’t find any invitations company that can do the raised printing. So we opted for the textured pocketfold and laser-engraved wood veneer. And I had to have a separate insert with the names of the whole bridal party. It just doesn’t feel right without it.

We do not have sponsors. It’s easier to say we don’t have them, than to explain why we do. lol

 

Post # 15
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m a Fil-Am bride marrying my puti (aka “white”) SO.  We both grew up Catholic, but are not practicing.  We’re more spiritual vs. religious, at least I am for sure. I lost my mom in 2006, but my mom totally approved and loved him from the get go after meeting him in 2001. (Yup, been together 11 years this past June 15th!)  since we’re getting married in my hometown San Diego and most of his family and friends are from WA state and not too familiar with Filipinos, I thought it would be a nice touch to have them experience something of my culture.  So we’re having my childhood family friend who is a Rev. officiate our non-denominational ceremony at a military golf course patio. We’re doing the Coin ceremony after our ring exchange and then the Veil/Cord Ceremony. While we are corded together, we’re having 2 friends do readings. One is from the Bible (to satisfy the parents, aunties and uncles and the other reading is a secular poem. We, too, are doing a sand ceremony instead of the unity candle. Make more sense anyway since we’re getting married outside. I plan on having programs with little anecdotes of the Filipino customs for his side of the guest list.  That way they can understand the significance of them. http://www.mybarong.com was a great resource in explaining the different ceremonies. We picked (or rather *I* picked) the prayers that resonated and made them most sense for “US”.  From start to finish, our wedding will be about 30 mins long. If we can afford it, I’m hoping to have Filipino dancers at the reception for dinner entertainment.  That would be rad to watch a Maria Clara dance, a native dance, and have it followed up the Tinikling! Kinda hoping my ninang, who works closely with the dance company, can help me out!

Post # 16
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hmmm…interesting! Maybe instead of a ring bearer, we’ll do a coin bearer!!! How do they carry the coins? They’ll not stay on a pillow πŸ˜‰ lol

Honestly, I think I’m more interested in the Filipino traditions than he is….! I’m of Irish heritage and they do a cord thing too, but it’s called hand fasting or something like that. I think Kate and William did that in their ceremony…where they put a cord around your hands/wrists to ‘tie’ you together for ‘infinity’ with the same type of cord as used by Filipinos for their cord ceremony – except I think they’re of different colors… I haven’t looked into it completely – but it’s interesting too, but he’s so, ‘Can’t we just have a ‘normal’ wedding>’ all the time… everything I suggest isn’t normal, apparently! Driving me crazy! I’ve been to enough weddings where I know that I do NOT want ours to be like theirs. He kinda freaked out when I suggested the sand ceremony – but he didn’t ‘get’ it to begin with….when I had a friend explain it to him, he was better about it. I thought it perfect for us because we LOVE the beach – so why not have sand instead of candles??

I wish he was a little more open minded sometimes….*sigh*

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