Getting married in 3 weeks and he found out about the past. Please help!

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
Post # 61
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

Brenda92 : if God was taking the wheel he wouldn’t have you marry this guy. Just saying. It is wrong no matter what the crime is (and you did nothing wrong you were broken up) for him to degrade you and call you names. That is the literal definition of verbal ABUSE. God would never sanction a marriage like that. So you need to take that as a wake up call and have some self-respect. 

Post # 62
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Baton Rouge, LA

beepboopbop :  I’m sorry, but really?!  She slept with someone while they were broken up.  Whether it was advisable or not is a topic for another time, but it’s completely irrelevant now.  What is relevant is that her fiance is now calling her horrible names and being terribly abusive over something that is quite frankly, none of his business and not anything she owes anyone any kind of explanation for.

Your comments are victim-blaming at best and unhelpful.

Post # 63
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Baton Rouge, LA

sassy411 :  Exactly this.  It’s not a perfect wedding if you’re getting married to this dude.  Thank God for taking the wheel and having this twatbiscuit show you exactly who he is before you’re married.  You are worth more than this.

Post # 64
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College

What all the bees above me who said this is a goddamn trainwreck said. Set this relationship on fire, and move to the next county over. You’ll never get away from this stink while being married to this loser.

Post # 65
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

“god this is so unfair. I feel like I can’t escape the hell that is my life. “

You lost me at that point. No one else will change your life for you. People are not magically going to give you what you want. You need to do that yourself. Life is never ever easy. Being an adult means making hard decisions that are unfair. All of us here have had to do this many times in our lives so far and we probably will many more. Time for you to do yours. If you keep everything the same, nothing will ever change. You don’t get my tears for this. 

Post # 66
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

Bee, don’t stay with someone who makes you cry so hard you can’t breathe.  No matter how perfect other aspects are – that kind of crying out of desperation, helplessness: that kind of crying is your signal to end it, before you marry him. Please.

Post # 67
Member
37 posts
Newbee

 

Stop waiting for someone else to change your life.

You are the only person that can do anything about this situation.

Leave. Get therapy. Stay single for a while. Spend more time with your friends and/or family. Throw yourelf into a hobby you love.

Make changes in your life, OP.

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