- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
FI and I have gone through some major road bumps in our relationship. Not with each but with our families. All started with my mom. Her and I always had a child/parent relationship; with her being the child. We are total opposites. She’s the party gal and I’ve always been the homebody, mellow type. Won’t go into details, but trust I had valid reasons to cut my mom out of my life. I haven’t talked to her in about 8 months now and not planning on talking to her anytime soon. I blocked her from my phone, fb, she knows nothing of my whereabouts. And she was spreading rumors about my FI. Which were ridiculous. However, my decision to stop talking to her has nothing to do with my FI. At this point I don’t hate her, holding a grudge or trying to prove anything. I just choose to focus on myself and build my own family with my future husband and children and stay away from my family for a while.
I stopped talking to my mom’s side of the family years ago. They are negative and gossipers. Never having anything nice to say about anyone and anyways spreading rumors. My dad side if the family, I was never too close to them. We never been the close net family of having Sunday family dinners or family outings. Besides when we were kids. But now my parents are separated and everyone, including my younger bros, do their own thing.
But now, I receive a txt from my brother saying I’m being selfish and I need to talk to my mom because she’s depressed and pretty much blaming me for their issues. After I left, my mom went to Vegas for two weeks, moved her bf in and even was traveling state to state. Now 6 months later she’s depressed and crying over me? She likes to be the victim and make everyone feel sorry for her so they can excuse her behavior. She pretty much chose her bf and friends over her daughter, which is why I left. Not the first time I left, but this is the longest without talking to her bad completely shut her out if my life. I’m just over her behavior and chose to be happy with out having her in my life. And sadly but honestly, ever since I stopped talking to her I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders and I am happier.
However, it seems everyone thinks I stopped all contacts because of my FI. And is blaming him. Which my reasoning of cutting her out has nothing to do with him. And it’s ridiculous that they are, again, over looking her behavior because she’s crying, depress and making herself sick. I’m all too familiar with her games and manipulative ways and I don’t buy it anymore. (Sorry it’s so long. Thought I could’ve made my story more concise. But once you start writing you can’t stop. Lol)
So, the point of this post. I, alone, decided to get married with just the two of us, our officiant (who’s a good friend) and her husband as witness. And maybe a photograoher. No friends, family and I decided I don’t want to tell anyone we’re married until we later down the road. Since they are now talking crap about my FI and made our engagment not so lovely of a time, I don’t want them involved in anyway. FI’s family have not been so helpful in other ways and he’s also not so close to his family. He joined the military at 17, lied about his age, to get away from them.
I have no one else to talk about this, since we don’t want to tell anyone we’ll be married. Guess I just want your input and getting married in secret and not mentioning it to anyone until we are ready. I know I’ll eventually talk to my mother but it’ll be a year or more until I consider it.