(Closed) Getting married on an unlucky date?

posted 11 years ago in East Asian
  • poll: Which date should I pick?

    June 11 - Bad Luck Day

    June 18 - Lucky Day but my desired vendors are not available

    September 3 - Venue closes late

    September 10 - Risk of second rate vendors (focus on trade shows and film festivals)

  • Post # 3
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think its quite silly in all honestly. I think Fortune Tellers are full of doo doo. Its YOUR wedding! Theres no such thing as an unlucky date! You make your own happiness! so plan to your hearts content!

    Post # 4
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    MsSparkle, I am a 2011 bride too!

    I think if it is your ideal date, you should go ahead with it. You can be in control of this part of your fortune.

    However, if it is going to be a major family issue, maybe compromise on another date?

    Post # 5
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I personally think that this superstitution is just for peace of mind (psychological comfort) but not really important. So do a cost-beneft analysis of the value of physchological comfort versus the amt of hassle/$/time spent on accomodating the “lucky” date. Just remember that out of all the couples married on lucky days, the divorce rate is the same.

    Personally, I think your mom’s restirction of only allowing you three Sat is too extreme. It may come from some weird fortune teller that makes something too personalized. I would recommend you search on the internet or go to chinatown and get a traditional calendar with each day (& time breakdown) listed as suitable or unsuitable for a slew of human activities (e.g. marriage, funeral, building house, cutting hair, etc.) Those options should give you more options than three Sat. Sometimes it’s neutral, sometimes it’s unlucky at like 8am but lucky at like 5pm… I hope this can give you more options and also give your mom (& u) some proof that there are other great days to get married too (look mom!) and psychological comfort.

    During my own wedding planning, I booked everything and forgot about the lucky/unlucky date/time. After the fact, my mom said that I should get married in the month afterwards but I told her it’s impossible now. When I was in Asia to visit, I checked up on this traditional chinese calendar. I found that my date/time fell on a lucky day. Whew.

    Post # 6
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’m a little confused…you are planning your wedding according to the dates a fortune teller told your mom?  And she wouldn’t show up if you picked an “unlucky” date?  Why is June 11th bad luck?  I would go with whatever date you want and get the vendors you want.  What does your Fiance think of this?

    Post # 7
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I am not superstitious for the most part, either, but when I was interested in looking at auspicious calender (I didn’t do the fortuen teller route), too, when we were picking dates.  I agree with pp that it really is for a peace of mind and not absolute.  BUT, if your mother is a strong believer in it, like some traditional Asian people are, then I would probably take it a little more serious and try at least not to pick an unlucky day.

    Are those 4 options the only ones you have?  What about the 4th or 25th of June?  I think I’d rather pick a neutral day than an unlucky day (and I am normally not even superstitious lol)

    Post # 8
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I went through the same thing.  I’m getting married in August 2010 and the date I picked was “ok” but there were other dates opened that were “luckier”.  I was firm on my decision on my date but let my mom know that although I respect the dates she choose, I am not superstituos nor traditional.

    Is your mom super traditional or is there any give to this matter?

    Post # 10
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Can you not go with a neutral date instead that might offer better vendor choices?  Maybe your mom would be less mad if you picked a neutral date over a “bad” date?

    Post # 12
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I am guessing that the people who voted for the unlucky date are the ones who are not familiar with the Chinese auspicious calendar and its significance or do not have people who are strong believers in it around them?  I guess I would want to honor my mother’s wishes if she feels so strongly toward it.

    Do you HAVE to have your wedding on a Saturday?  I am not sure what I’d do in your situation, either, but I would not pick the unlucky date (I think in this case since your mother is a firm believer, it’s probably good to oblige to her wishes, and it also just feels weird to get married knowing that it’s an unlucky day), and I would probably give up on my top choice vendors and/or venues for just a smooth and nice wedding the way you wanted it to be, i.e. I probably wouldn’t pick the date that would interfere the timing for the day.  So I guess I’d pick June 18th or Sept. 10.

    That’s just me!  I don’t think I can live with my mom being sooo unhappy about it and thinking that our marriage is cursed, though.  You know your mom the best.  GL! Let us know what you decide.

    Post # 14
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    we got married (exchanged our vows and rings, etc) on the day of our choosing, a bad luck day, but got registered and thus legally married on a good luck day. maybe that will work for you?

    Post # 15
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    nybride’s suggestion is great. have you wedding on the 11th, but get legally married on a different day. your mom can be a witness to make her feel lucky and included!

    Post # 16
    5495 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    get married whatever date you want, with the vendors you want. It’s just a superstition.

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