(Closed) Getting Married… outside.

posted 5 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally I just like to know in advance if the ceremony is outside, because I have really fair skin and I burn easily. Also get severe headaches from being in the sun without sunglasses.  If I know I am outside I’ll slather on a higher spf than I will if I’m at an inside event.

But I understand other people love the idea of getting married outside! And I really don’t get why some religions have such an issue with this. No reason you can’t make it religious just because its outside.

Post # 5
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@spaglitter:  that sounds like a beautiful time of day. I hope you can make it work and find a great spot outside!

Post # 6
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

hate to burst your bubble.. but I’m not sure you can have a catholic wedding outside. I think if you work with a jesuit priest you may be able to(or so I’ve heard). but unless already an open air church (like some I’ve seen in beach areas) you won’t be able to have it outside.

http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/outdoor-wedding.htm

PS unless you’re super skilled and somehow already managed to be one of the VERY FEW exceptions! lol

Post # 7
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

Most Catholic preists are pretty strict on the no outdoor wedding thig, maybe you could get anoter type of officiant?

Post # 8
Member
3754 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You definitely will not be able to be married outside and have the marriage be recognized by the Catholic church. FI and I are in the exact same situation as you guys (he’s catholic, I’m not, we want an outdoor ceremony). We are getting married by a Jesuit priest who tend to be a little more liberal, but it was a no-go even from him (and the rest of the Jesuit priests at his church). What we decided to do was get married with a very small immediate-family ceremony in the Catholic church the day before our big shebang with all the guests. Our “second ceremony” will be outside at a winery like we wanted. We will already be “married” so we are having our friend officiate and writing our own vows to make it a personal, fun ceremony that is very different than the first. We both love this idea because we don’t have to compromise– we both get exactly what we want! FI’s family is happy, and so is the priest! Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@hollyberry4:  This.  The ceremony is a Sacrament, so it has to occur in a church. 

Post # 10
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Merelymere:  +1 I agree wholeheartedly with this. But like I said before if you’re in a locatino with an outdoor-ish church I think that would be the best compromise between having to have it in a church and wanting it outdoors.. My MOH got married in this church that they use in teh summer for all the beach vacationers (google maps pic! lol) This church is an annex for the parish St. Mary Gate of Heaven

Post # 11
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@hollyberry4:  +1.  And I love that you found a way to make everything work for you. 

Another possibility is to have the wedding you want and have it convalidated by the Catholic Church later, realizing that the Church will not consider you validly married until the marriage is convalidated.   A convalidation requires all the same pre-martial preparation as a marriage in the Catholic Church does…because it is a marriage in the Catholic Church.

The only drawback to this option is that some priests don’t really approve of convalidating a marriage when the reason the marriage was not validly celebrated in the first place was because the bride and groom just wanted to marry outside.  But other priests are just happy to make sure your marriage is sacramental, no matter what the circumstances surrounding the original ceremony were.  If having a sacramental Catholic marriage is important to you, you may want to discuss this with a priest before you make any decisions.

Post # 12
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Its not just priests.  Canon law explicits prohibits against using convalidation as a way to get around the laws regarding marriage or a way.  But some priests probably think its no big deal to work the system.  

I think outdoor weddings can be beautiful, but personally, especially in a Catholic setting, being outside is distracting.  Its sort of like having a class outside.  I never understood why students got so excited from going outside.  Its harder to hear and pat attention.  Since even having a non-mass involves a lot of speaking, I think an indoor environment is more conducive.  Granted, I suppose locations regularly used for outdoor occassions have good mic systems.

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Well, is your goal to have a valid Catholic sacramental marriage? If so, this isn’t going to achieve that, and you will not be able to receive Communion without a convalidation. And if by “receive the sacrament” you mean Communion/Eucharist or the Sacrament of Marriage within the Catholic church, that’s not going to be what you’re describing in a Baptist church.

This is something you really need to consult with a priest about. You may want to look into getting married at a regular Sunday mass, without the fanfare, etc., before having your outdoor ceremony. That would allow you to receive both sacraments and be in the Church’s good graces; having a mini religious ceremony at a nearby Baptist church because it’s too inconvenient to travel to a Catholic church would not.

I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear. But by prioritizing your outdoor ceremony and your reception location, and writing off Catholic churches because they are far away, you are putting the cart before the horse. If the sacrament of marriage is important to you, you need to demonstrate that by doing what it takes (and making the necessary sacrifices and concessions) to have a proper Catholic wedding.

Edit: you could also see about having the marriage take place at a regular Saturday evening vigil Mass (i.e. a 5pm Mass) if you wanted to have it the same day as a Saturday outdoor ceremony. It’s not very common get married at regular Sunday/Saturday vigil masses, but it’s a perfectly valid option. You just have to use that day’s readings from the Lectionary, rather than choosing your own readings.

Post # 16
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We went to multiple dioceases (including in different states) to try to have our Catholic wedding outside, wasn’t going to happen. We ended up “getting married” the day before to have the Sacrament and then did a “wedding” with all the bells and whistles the next day outside (it’s also the day we consider our wedding – the priest did consent to sending in our marriage license with our “wedding” date). It worked for us.

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