(Closed) Getting married VS. buying a house

posted 4 years ago in Home
  • poll: What should we do first?
    Wedding : (44 votes)
    44 %
    House : (55 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 31
    11454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Could your Fiance qualify for a mortage and purchase a home on his own while he is unmarried and then the two of you get married and occupy the home together?

    Post # 32
    6 posts
    • Wedding: June 2013


    While I know how important a home is (my husband and I are still trying to scrape together enough money for a down payment) we never, not once, regretted having our wedding. It was one of the best nights of my life and my happy thought when times are tough. I say go for the wedding and be fisically irresponsible!!! 🙂

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    Post # 33
    683 posts
    Busy bee

    sylwia212:  fha is the biggest scam. You can do a conventional loan with 5% down payment and higher your interest by a tiny bit to eliminate PMI. 5% compared to 3.5% is nothing in compared to what you will have to pay for fha. 

    Fha requires an upfront PMI now that is based on a % of your total home purchas. Plus monthly PMI that laat the life of the loan. 

    The only reason a person should consider fha loan is if their credit is not in the 700’s. 

    I recommend house before wedding because that is equity you will be building while saving for wedding. 

    Post # 34
    1387 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Darling Husband and I aren’t house people. Do it depends on what’s important to you. We live in a town home. We hear all our friends talk and complain about all the money they put into the houses they purchase. We’d rather have someone else take care of the day to day issues without shelling out extra money. We spent money on a wedding b/c that was important to us. 15k for 45 people. We’ll get a house eventually, but we live in the city right now and love it! 

    Post # 35
    303 posts
    Helper bee

    Honestly, I wouldn’t buy a home with a lot of debt. As much as it sucks when you want to buy a home, getting all of your ducks in a row vs trying to take short cuts to avoid your credit/debt issues. Home ownership is certainly not always cost effective- in 6 months my ac unit went out ($8k), my garage door broke ($900) and then my bathroom had a hidden leam that caused substantial damage necesitating a complete remodel ($6k). i would clean up my credit and reduce my debt to put myself in the best position fof a large commitment such as purchasing a home.

    Post # 36
    527 posts
    Busy bee

    To me, having the wedding first (inexpensively if necessary) is the best beginning step. Then you can work together towards getting a house. I know many couples who haven’t bought houses right away. It sucks but in the end it’s okay. 

    Post # 37
    587 posts
    Busy bee

    I had a wedding for 80 people with plenty of food (we had leftovers for days) live music and a DJ, a photographer, and all that good stuff for about $1500. That includes my dress and everything. It wasn’t really fancy, and we had to do a lot of bargain hunting, but it was worth it. My dress was about $700 by itself too, so we had our entire wedding for $800 give or take a little bit. It’s hard but it can be done. You could have a cheap wedding and still be okay. But if I had to choose to do one or the other right now, I’d choose house.

    Post # 38
    10701 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State


    A lot of these headaches can be minimized by requesting that the seller purchase a home warranty that covers AC & all systems, i.e. Plumbing & electrical.  I don’t believe they generally cover roofs, so buyer should have a roof inspection.  Fha will likely insist on it.

    The HW from the seller will last a year, but buyer can renew it after that.

    Post # 39
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    sylwia212:  I’m confused about your situation. Background info: My (now) husband and I bought a house in May 2015 and got married two months later. At first, I thought we would only qualify for the FHA mortgage due to a small downpayment, but we ended up getting a conventional loan and putting 10% down. You can easily get a conventional loan with 5%, which isn’t much more than the 3.5% that FHA loans require. And, generally, conventional loans have lower interest rates AND the mortgage insurance goes away after you have an 80% equity in the house. With an FHA loan, I don’t think the mortgage insurance goes away unless you refinance. I could be wrong, but I thought I remember my loan officer telling us that.

    Also, everyone over 18, who lives in the house (married or not) and has an income needs to be taken into account when acquiring and FHA loan. So, if you don’t qualify due to your incomes when you’re married then you won’t qualify now either. 

    I guess I’m just confused about why it matters if you’re on the mortgage. Are you worried that your credit will negatively affect the interest rate of the loan? If so, that’s definitely a legitmate reason to be concerned.  More info would be helpful.

    Post # 40
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee

    sylwia212:  We bought the house first and went to the courthouse later that year for insurance purposes. We had the ring exchange and party for the peeps a year later. 

    I had gone through bankruptcy a couple years prior and my credit wasn’t the best. He had a VA loan and used his income. We saved $300 a month by buying.



    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Shoot4theMoon.
    Post # 41
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    I bought a home about a year ago as a first time homeowner. My fiance and I are getting married next month. A couple of things:

    1. Please do not buy a house if the only thing you can afford is to do it through FHA. A conventional mortgage is so much better for you in the long run.

    2. I would not purchase anything together until you are married. I bought the house under my name only because my fiance was just my boyfriend at the time. Legally if anything happens with joint ownership and you break up, it’s a nightmare. That’s not to say that you will not end up getting married and living happily ever after, but I think it’s so important to protect yourself first.

    3. Home ownership costs more than you think it will. Taxes and insurance will make the monthly payment way more than you think. The mortgage interest tax deduction did not help me much at all this year because interest rates are so low – which is great, but don’t expect a large tax deduction at tax time if you lock in a good rate. 

    4. The stress of owning a home is eased if you have savings. I would absolutely not have purchased a home without significant savings. 

    TL;DR I would wait and save up for a good down payment if I were you. This will also give you time to build your credit and purchase as a married couple. 

    Post # 42
    2680 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    sassy411:  we have a 1 year home warranty, so we actually only paid for the site visit for all 3 of those issues. I think it was about $80 a pop. I was just trying to illustrate for the OP that if their entire life savings is $6k and they have substantial debts, this might not be the best time to buy. In fact, buying might be flirting with disaster. There are a lot of “hidden” costs in home ownership, that people sometimes don’t consider. As another poster pointed out, inspections alone would put a dent in their finances. We paid almost $1k for our home inspection, mold testing, and a secondary plumbing inspection that was recommended based on the results of the initial home inspection. 

    Post # 43
    10701 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State


    ITA.  Owning a home does include a lot of hidden expenses.  

    Just suggesting a HW as a good option. Our service call is $60.  I suspect it varies based on location.

    Post # 44
    158 posts
    Blushing bee

    sylwia212:  We are in a similar situation, however we went to court on January 31st and got married. So now we are husband and wife. We are house hunting at the moment in Dupage and Lake county in Illinois so around Chicago.. There is no restriction on FHA for us, we did ask before we got married.Darling Husband will be the only one on the loan and I will be added to the title. We’re not sure if we’ll be going the FHA route yet, but that was our first plan. Just to add, I can’t be on the loan because I just opened a business and I can’t use that income, so according to an underwriter I have all debt and no income. (I don’t have that much debt but with no income it wont help for me to be on the loan). Since FHA laws have changed and you have to pay PMI for the life of the loan we are considering buying FHA just under Darling Husband and then refinance once I can show the business as income and both be on the loan, that way we would only pay PMI for 2-3 years. We will have a wedding in 2017, buying a house is more important to us, we rent in Chicago and pay $900 a month in rent plus parking, laundry, utilities so we’re at a little over $1050 a month. That is a mortgage payment… Good luck! Since you’re in the Chicago area, I would cal around and ask about the FHA restrictions, I’ve dealt with 3 different ppl all have said being married and FHA have nothing to do with each other, the Loan is the loan and being put on the title is not an issue. 

    Post # 45
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Buying a house BEFORE you are married causes more work and a tiny bit more money to be spent. If you are not married your deed will read “his name & her name, tentants in common with rights to survivorship.” after you get married you should have it say “his name & her name, husband and wife.” so you will need to pay an attorney to change the deed and have it notarized and recorded. 

    Generally the main person applying for the mortgage will need to have been at their job for at least 3 years to qaulify for a mortgage. So that’s one more thing to think about when deciding. Also with FHA you genereally have to put down 10% of the purchase price. And hwen buying a home it isn’t just Deposit + Mortgage = I own a home.

    You also must consider closing costs. In order to buy a house you must:

    Pay for a title insurance policy. This ranges depending on the price of the house. The lowest I’ve seen is maybe $1,200.00

    If you have an attorney or a settlement company. Some states you need an attorney some states you do not. No matter what the state you need something called a settlement agent. The settlement agent is the person who holds all the money at closing and gives the proper checks to the proper people, goes through your mortgage closing package which is a hundred or so papers you need to sign, and makes sure all the proper documentation gets to the right people and the deed and mortgage is recorded. This can range. In my state title companies and private settlement agents cost about $500. I work for a real estate attorney we charge $400 on top of our normal fee to be settlement agent.

    You also have your recording fees for the deed and mortgage which vary from state and county.

    You will most likely be required to have a survey of the property done. This can cost anywhere from $500 and up. 

    You must pay property taxes that are due within 60 days.

    You must pay for your homeowner’s insurance 1 year paid before closing or at closing. 

    There can be adjustments as well. An adjustment means that the seller has pre-paid for something that they are not using for the whole time period they paid. You pay them the per diem price for how many days they are not using it. This can be taxes, home owners assosication, oil, or water & sewer.

    All of those fees are going to be ON TOP of the difference between your deposit + mortgage and the purchase price of your home. 

    The only time I’ve seen people not need to bring money to closing is they got a USDA loan. FHA I’ve seen they always bring money to closing. There are a ton of variables with buying a home and a ton of things that need to be paid for other than the down deposit and getting a mortgage. so you really need to find a good real estate agent who can take you to their mortgage broker and let them tell you what kind of price range you are looking at, what you can expect to pay out of pocket after your mortgage in that range.  The amount of your mortgage you can get preapproved for is based on how much you make, if you have been at your job for more than 3 years, and your debt to income ratio. High debt will hurt you from getting a mortgage. But you really really need to talk to a mortgage broker that you trust in order to understand EXACTLY what you are looking for. Everyone here will not be able to make the decision for you. 

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