(Closed) Getting married without a mother

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@NearlyWife:  I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute to your Mom, and I’m sure she would be so proud of you and happy for you and your fiance. 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I completely understand and my heart breaks for you. I lost my mom 12 years ago when I was 16. I cry just thinking about her not being here for my wedding. I also LOVED shopping with my mom, so one thing I want to do is tie my bouquet with fabric from one of her favorite blue dresses. I vividly remember the day she bought it and how happy we were. This way, I will have a piece of her with me, but not in an outwardly obvious way that I will have to (emotionally) explain to everyone. This way it is quiet and for ME.

No matter how you choose to honor your mom, you will have your memories of her on your day. I feel for you- I really do.

All the best.

Post # 5
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@NearlyWife:  Thanks for sharing. I’m actually in pretty much the same boat. My mom passed away 6.5 years ago about a month after I turned 19. You’ve summed up exactly how I feel too. I really should be working on my paper that’s due for school right now, but that was well put and good for me to read as I think I feel exactly the way you do..:)

Post # 6
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NearlyWife:  I find myself going through the same things.  My mother died 7 years ago.  I miss her dearly.  And you are correct, she is with you, she is always with you.  She will live forever in your heart.   What a beautiful tribute to her.

Post # 7
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@NearlyWife:  Im so sorry for your loss! It sounds like your Momma was a wonderful and sweet person and it is great to see even though she had to leave this world 11 years ago, she still made an huge impact on you and helped you become the strong woman that you are today. It might sound cheesy but Im sure she will be looking down at you on your big day. I wish I could give you a big fat hug!

Post # 8
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Honey-Bee:  Im sorry for your loss! Love you bouquet idea, it’s a wonderful way to have a little piece of your Mom with you!

Post # 9
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I too lost mine very young (I was 17, she was 41). She suffered with lung cancer for just about 8 months before she died. So, a different situation than yours, but I can sympathize.  It’s been nearly 21 years.

Your post made me cry, both sad tears and laughing through the tears, about the crying part. Mine was very emotional too, to the point that she’d wear sunglasses to our dance recitals as kids because she’d be crying because she was so proud of us 🙂 I don’t see myself donning sunglasses for my wedding (LOL), but I do know that I will be very emtional that day. Case in point: I was thinking of what song I wanted to dance to with my father, and I thought of “Through the Years” by Kenny Rogers. That was my parents’ song, they danced to it whenever we were somewhere that had dancing- and I thought it would be a nice remembrance. So I tried listening to it the other day- Jesus. I couldn’t get through like 30 seconds without breaking down.

It definitely feels like something is missing. I wonder what it would be like to have her here, to be with me during the planning. We had a challenging relationship, so I’m even left to wonder a lot of things about what our relationship would be like *now*. It’s hard for me to see friends planning their weddings with their moms. It just feels “not normal” to have to do it without ours.

I am planning on honoring her by wrapping her charm bracelet (that she got in high school) around my bouquet. My father also wants there to be a place for her wedding band in the wedding somewhere, so I am thinking I may tie that around the bouquet as well, maybe with a blue ribbon.

Ok, enough of my thread-jack. Again, thank you for sharing these sentiments- know that you’re not alone. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That was a beutiful post. I can relate (((hugs)))

Post # 11
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your post was incredibly moving and a perfect way to honor your mother’s memory.

My best friend lost her mother when we were teenagers. She got married last year and her father was unable to attend the wedding due to health issues. My heart broke for her – she had to get married without either of her parents in attendance.

But you should have seen her. She had an expression of perfect joy that didn’t leave her face for a single moment the entire day. You could see that her mother was in her heart and she was as happy as a bride could be on her wedding day. I hope you feel the same peace and happiness on your day 🙂

Post # 12
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I lost my mum almost 2 years ago to cancer and am getting married this June and can completely identify with your posting. Sometimes it just plain sucks, and nothing will change that. You’ve expressed your thoughs wonderfully though, I too think I may canonize my mother by memory, which I’m sure would make her rather smug! Xxx

Post # 13
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

l know how you feel, my mom died in 2008. Ive had a few breakdowns already thinking about trying to plan this alone. Getting married is supposed to be a mom/daughter thing. My heart goes out to everyone going through this alone.

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