(Closed) Getting Married Young/Bucket List

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 32
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@Jessica_Rabbit  I personally agree, but I’ve gotta say that out of all the people I graduated high school with that got married immediately out of high school (or at the end of it, this was common in the very rural community I finished up school in) I can only think of one divorce.  There were probably about 20 couples that got married in that time frame and they’re all doing ok – stable jobs, they have children, own houses, etc. 

Personally I couldn’t do it and I really don’t fully agree with it, but it’s a very family-focused community that encouraged young women to have children immediately and settle down.  Zero focus on college (I was one of two to leave the state – to date – and only about 20% of our class went to college at all) and all the emphasis on staying there and having a family.  The support was there so I’m sure that’s why it’s not an absolute disaster.

I think it really depends on the culture you’re living in.  Sometimes I compare myself to these people from high school and wonder how I’m so far “behind” in life (the concept of owning a house is laughable based on our student loans and the city we live in, we don’t even want children but somehow it’s still a marker of “maturity” in our hometown, we’ll be getting married at 25 (me) and 28 (him) which is insanely late in our hometown, etc) but seriously we live pretty awesome lives and those things don’t rank too high on our importance list.

To each her own 🙂

Post # 33
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hated both, haha.

I thought the list in the first was awful. I get it was humour suggesting to live your life to the fullest, but I honestly was like – if that’s all, why value singleness at all?

I thought the sttitude of the second was very judgmental and came across as quite a “sanctimarried”. 

Having grown up in Evangelical Christianity, I think it is really, really important to address the fact that singleness is often portrated and viewed, whether deliberately or not, as second best. I personally had numerous experiences across numerous churched where I was made to feel a freak for not being married (e.g. pressure to join the youth group at 23. My 19 year old engaged friend was one of the adults though). For some people early marriege is right, but I honestly think it is FAR less than people who percieve they are due to social pressure, and the constant messages that being married is better and/or = maturity. DH comes from a Mormon background, and I see a lot of the same issues.

There are amazong experiences that really can only be had whilst single. For example, I backpacked alone through China, Europe and the US. I have also travelled extensively with DH, but nothing compares to the feeling of navigating a country alone, and being fully self reliant. Nothing beats travelling and caring only for yourself – go where you want to go, see what you want to see, challenge and push yourself. Don’t get me wrong, travel with DH offers different and new challenges, joys and struggles, but I am forever grateful that I did have the opportunity to do both. Same goes for a lot of things. That doesn’t mean everyone should marry past their early-mid 20s, but I think a lot more should than is encouraged in certain places.

Post # 34
420 posts
Helper bee

Both sound more like they are meant to be entertainment than anything to be taken seriously.

Post # 35
6562 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@WestCoastV  +1

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