- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Ugh, I’m sitting here overthinking something that’s making me more and more angry and upset, and I think I need to just get it out and maybe get a word or two of advice.
So, I am getting married on the other side of the country, at a winery that my parents are members of and go to every weekend. It’s a beautiful venue and I couldn’t be happier with it, and I’ve also been lucky because my parents have been really involved in coordinating things for me since I can’t really do it from out here on the east coast. For the most part, I’ve felt like I was being included fully in things that were being decided for me, so all was well.
The thing that I felt was getting away from me was the flowers, and boy was I right. All I had done was send pictures of the sort of thing that I wanted, emphasizing over and over again that flowers were not something I wanted to spend a ton of money on. AT ALL. I don’t care about flowers, and if I had any real skills and more time over there, I’d have just DIY’d it all because why do they have to be real? But alas, decisions were being made for me and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Well last week, my dad sends me the florist’s final proposal, and it is over $1700. For flowers. For my small wedding, with three bridesmaids (their bouquets must be solid gold because they’re $125 each), 60 guests (7 centerpieces … boy, they must be solid gold too!), 3 bouts that are $50 each … you get my drift. The moral of the story is, without me having ANY clue what I was getting into, everyone signed me up for this RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE amount of flowers.
As soon as I saw the proposal, I was pretty upset, because I thought I was pretty clear that flowers were low on the totem pole for me. And these are beyond the budget my parents have set that they’re willing to pay for — the money for these is coming out of my pocket. I asked my dad if I could cancel the orders for the Bridesmaid or Best Man bouquets at least, and DIY those for $375 in savings. He tells me it’s too late, because they agreed to the proposal and since they go to the winery every week and this florist is their exclusive contractor, it would look very bad to go back on their word. I get where he’s coming from, but I’m extremely upset that I’m being forced to pay an inordinate amount of money for something that I didn’t even want and was NEVER given a clue about the true cost of.
I mean crap, if anyone had told me that Bridesmaid or Best Man bouquets would be that expensive, I would have said no. Same with corsages and bouts. Those can be so pretty done in silk flowers, and then they can be kept forever. Even my own bouquet I’d have been happy with in silk. But nobody ever said a word, and now I’m stuck paying for flowers that cost 2/3 as much as our ENTIRE HONEYMOON.
So what do I do? If it’s too late to change anything, and I understand that, should I talk to my parents and explain to them how upset I am that this was decided without my input but then foisted on me? My parents are already contributing $10k for the wedding, so I don’t want to ‘guilt’ them into covering some or all of the flowers just because I’m mad they didn’t consult me … but at the same time, it DOES seem really unfair to me! I’ve been a really laid-back bride this whole time, but this, this just pisses me off.