(Closed) Getting myself all worked up over something probably not worth it …

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would call your dad and have a conversation with him.

Be completely honest.

“Dad- I really appreciate all you guys are doing for me to make this the wedding of our dreams… but, to be honest with you, I just cannot afford the florist. Every cent I have is earmarked for things I’ve already committed to : Honeymoon, etc…. The last thing I want is for you to look bad, but I can’t afford them. I’m really sorry. “

and put the ball in his court. He should have never agreed to something when you are the one footing the bill, no matter how much they’ve contributed already.

Post # 4
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I asked my dad if I could cancel the orders for the Bridesmaid or Best Man bouquets at least, and DIY those for $375 in savings. He tells me it’s too late, because they agreed to the proposal and since they go to the winery every week and this florist is their exclusive contractor, it would look very bad to go back on their word

doesn’t matter if they are going to look bad – is it legally possible to cancel the order?

You didn’t sign a contract with them.

Post # 6
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be feeling the same way you are! I’m glad you’re going to talk to your mom about it though. Your parents should know how you are feeling, even if it they can’t or won’t change the order.

Post # 8
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

At the very least, make sure they understand that in the future, they should NEVER agree to something without consulting you about it.

 

Post # 9
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d contact the florist myself, and see what changes can be made that would be more to your liking. If you have to pay anyway, mabe you can reduce the total and your Dad can still save face.

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@PinkFlemingo: I completely agree with smyley‘s advice. Additionally, it seems that the floral issue, while not perfect, has at least reached a working compromise. Now it is time to take a preemptive strike for the future. I suggest that you strongly and firmly discuss with your parents that they are not to agree to anything further down the road without first consulting you every step of the way (not just the final step of signing, but that you are informed throughout the process) because you do not want to be put in the same position ever again, and, if you are, you simply will not accept whatever it is. Make sure they are 100% clear on this because who knows what else they may try to bring in, in the name of whomever they know at the winery. Pave the way for yourself to prevent this from occurring again. For now, breathe and look forward to your day.

Post # 12
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Did anyone sign a contract? If not, there is no reason you can’t change this. And since you didn’t sign it, you’re not responsible, anyway. Sounds like you need to speak to the florist directly.

Plus, I doubt they’ve prepaid for $1,700 worth of flowers. Even if they put a 10% nonrefundable deposit down, it still would be less to DIY (Sam’s Club, etc) at this point.

Post # 13
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper

Because hydrangeas are expensive by the stem….unless they are locally grown and in season, so that would definitely up the cost factor. They are beautiful flowers and because of their size you might think fewer could be used to get the same effect, but they are still expensive to use.

I’m curious about the other flowers now. The cost does seem excessive to me.

Post # 16
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I would definately talk with the florist and try to scale things down a bit. Maybe talking to them directly would. Help tell them what you are looking for and they should be able to substitute less expensive flowers.

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