- 4 years ago
Hey all! I’m new here, so this should be interesting! I love reading these boards, just because I love everything wedding relating-it’s an exciting time for many couples, and I love to see that! However, I didn’t know until now that I could actually be a member of the site, without being engaged/married. So yay! Alright, enough with my introduction, onto the problem at hand.
I am a 20 year old, Junior in college. My boyfriend is a 21 Junior in college, and we have been dating for two years now. We love each other dearly, and have both previously been in very toxic relationships. We had practically given up hope of ever finding a healthy relationship, but when we met each other Freshmen year, we mutally decided to throw caution to the wind and give it a chance. It’s been amazing. He’s exactly what I’m looking for, exactly the kind of person I need, and an individual who continues to push me to be a better person. He makes me feel more lively, and see life in a more optimistic way, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been these past two years. Because of our success with our relationship, and how seamlessly we seem to connect, we talked about marriage about a year into our relationship. Both him and I, growing up, had no desire to get married. Marriage terrified him, and I, so I had never thought about it before. But upon being with each other, our minset has entirly changed. We now WANT marriage, and kids, and are very excited for our future!
However, we contain that excitement, so that we can be logical. Him and I know our intentions of getting married, and have every intention of that happening. However, both him and I made an agreement, that for the sake of college, we would not become engaged until after we graduate (Looks like two years time for that). We both firmly believe that being engaged means to be ‘engaged in wedding planning’ and neither of us want to plan a wedding right now. However, my boyfriend wanted to show me a promise, nonetheless. He wanted me to have a physical representation of his feelings, his intentions, and his loyalty. So a couple of months ago, he gave me a promise ring. I know promise rings are seen as childish, very High School like, but everyone has different opinions. I wear the ring on my right hand, ring finger. Now, my boyfriend has thought about it, and he decided he would love one, as well. I’m totally okay with this, and thrilled, and have bought him a ring, but plan to wait until the end of the month to give it to him. However, I’m worried about how friends will react. When he gave me a promise ring, people scoffed, called it immature, and told us to just get engaged. They said that would be the ADULT thing to do. However, I don’t agree at all. I feel like we made a VERY adult decision to wait a couple years. To wait unil we’ve graduated (both of us with very respectable degrees) move in together, save up some money, pay off some loans, etc. But no one seems to think that’s an adult decision.
I suppose I’m just worried about how people will react to me giving him a ring. I’m afraid they’ll laugh, and that he’ll feel awful. What do you think of this situation? Do you think what we’re doing is okay, and a mature choice? Any insight would be great, thank you!