Post # 17
That’s a tough situation and I agree with PPs who said your neighbors are lucky that you guys are good people!
And I agree that establishing some rules with her is probably the best solution for both of you. Sometime when she is over playing with your dog, sit her down and explain that you are having a baby soon and that babies need a lot of care and sleep and that it would be good to have a routine. So she can come over once a week for an hour, at the same time each week, to see the baby. And then explain that you and your husband want to start practicing the routine now so you’re ready when the baby comes.
For the summers when she’s home with nothing to do, maybe you should look into nearby day camps (check your city’s parks and rec department or the YMCA) and get a pamphlet on one. Then, when she’s over, tell her about it – “Hey Sally! I found out about this awesome camp where you can go swimming/horseback riding/play softball/do crafts/etc. all day! Doesn’t that sound like fun?” And if she gets excited about it, give her the info and hopefully she’ll pester her parents enough to sign her up and get her out of your hair!
Post # 18
Since she doesn’t understand subtlety or boundaries, I’d be direct. “Sally, you can’t keep coming over. We are very busy with preparing for the baby, and we can’t have you over anymore.” If she comes over after that, alert her parents by saying, “I’m not sure if you know, but Sally’s at our house. Can you come get her?”
Post # 19
Poor kid. Maybe the baby can be a “reason” to set boundaries up. “Sally, once the baby is born, we are going to be very busy. You can come visit baby once a week, on Sunday, at 2 o’clock, for 30 minutes.” Maybe something like that? I would def. disconnect the doorbell. I feel terrible for this little girl.
Post # 20
I also recommend one of those “Shhh baby sleeping” signs for your front door. I used to be a kid who loved my neighbors a little too much, and that sign definitely worked for me. Also maybe explain to her that when the new baby comes, he/she will need lots of rest during the day and that she should keep a look out for the sign to know whether it’s ok to ring your doorbell or not.
Post # 21
I was “Sally” when I was a kid. First when I was her age because mom sat around and drank beer all day and I had nothing to do. Then as a teen because being with another family or at another home meant that I wasn’t being beaten or molested at home. When mom was working her fiance molested me daily and I was afraid to tell my mom becaause she was so in love so in love with him and he had made threats towards me and my mom as well as anyone else if I had told. There was only one person I ever spoke about this to as a teen and she was in the same situation with her father, so I thought it was normal really. We were in the club house hanging out one day and her dad got home from work, said he needed her and she told me she would be back in a few minutes. Came back and said something about she was hoping he wouldn’t want to today, but had a feeling he would. Being away from my house was a way for it to not happen to me so I hung with the neighbors. This went on even after I was with my boyfriend until we were engaged, and he finally left me alone. Never had intercourse but he did have his ways. UGH… PS… a neighbor did tell mom that I was hanging around a little too much and I got beat for it, so be careful what you say to her parents.
Post # 22
Maybe instead of seeing Sally as a nusience, maybe you can use her as a mother’s helper. I know that my now almost 22 yo daughter started out helping a family when thier twins were a couple months old just hanging out keeping the babies smilin. She ended up being their babysitter and now the twins are 9 years old. She is no longer their sitter but was until she went away to college. Even went on several trips with the family helping out with the kids. Of course there are 4 other kids besides the twins in that family with my daughter being 4 years older than their oldest child, so she was able to help with those kids keeping them busy as well.
Post # 23
@clover32512: That’s terrible.
OP, can you ask Sally if there’s anything going on at home or ask why she prefers to go to your house instead of her own?
Post # 24
Is it even legal? Don’t children have to be 12 years old or something to be left unattended?
I’d ask Sally directly WHY she keeps coming over. if anything sounds fishy, I would call authorities. Poor kid. 🙁
Post # 25
@abbyful: I really am dreading when the baby is born, I know she’s going to want to come over and see the baby all the time. (And it will go like this: She’ll ring the door bell, my dogs will bark, my baby will wake up and cry/scream… I foresee it being a huge annoyance at least once or twice a day!)
I just saw this on Pinterest and thought of you! You should get one for when baby is born 🙂
Post # 26
I wish I had this problem. Instead, I have an older woman that likes to talk my ear off about her personal problems. I am afraid I am going to explode one day like that chick in the movie Extract.
Post # 27
ok so seriously i would turn off the doorbell. Then you won’t hear her. If you are expecting a package then leave a note on the door stating to leave it on the porch. Family and friends can call or text when they get there is you don’t hear them knock (you would be expecting them) It will be easier anyways since then no unexpected guest, not just Sally can wake the baby.
As for Sally ignore her knocks, ignore her. You are right she wants attention and guess who is giving it to her… If you stop she will move on to someone else.
Post # 28
I agree with @LaTortuga: you need to be consistent. If you see her in person, tell her no. Otherwise, completely ignore her when she comes to the door. The more time you give her, the more she’s going to take.
Post # 29
Seems like you and your husband provide her with what she is missing in her life! Do you know her parents or anything about the family?
Post # 30
@AutumnMrs: I love that!!!
This is sad, i dont know what to do or what I would do… good luck 🙁
Post # 31
You have two choices, you can ignore her or take her under your wing, unfortunately you can’t sit half way in between. She is crying out for attention and if you give it to her she will never leave you alone. If you are willing to take her under your wing then you need to set rules with her and stick to them with consquences, exactly like you would your own child.