(Closed) Getting no wedding present by FI's family?!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee

Pick your battles. Don’t burn any bridges over a lousy gift. 

Post # 3
Member
1758 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

so this actually hasn’t even happened yet? You are pre offended about something that might never happen? Wow. 

Post # 4
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

I mean… a gift should never be expected… you aren’t getting married for the presents…

Sure, you’re allowed to be a little upset, but your Fiance chooses to help him mum out. He could easily pass the responsibility onto his siblings.

You also won’t know who has gotten you presents until after the day, so it won’t ruin the Wedding for you.

With regards my Brother, I bought him an Owl and Cat stuffed toy, dressed in Wedding Stuff and I hand wrote ‘the Owl and the Pussycat’ poem to go with them. Wasn’t super expensive, but it was something to give them.

 

Post # 5
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
annaven:  The expression ‘don’t borrow trouble’ comes to mind.

I understand that the gesture of receiving a wedding gift from your Future Mother-In-Law is important to you, but it’s completely out of your control as to whether or not that happens. Hopefully it does but if it doesn’t, don’t equate that to a lack of support for your marriage. Different people have different ideas about the importance of gifts vs. financial or emotional support etc.

At the end of the day, the only problem right now is that you’re worrying about something that hasn’t even happened. Just let things unfold. 

Post # 6
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think its pretty rude to expect a present from anyone! 

Post # 7
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My DH’s parents enjoyed a trip to the UK entirely paid by us (they live abroad) and didn’t even get us a card! What can you do?! I just have to laugh about it!

Post # 8
Member
6534 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

So what exact harm will come to you if you don’t get gifts from them? Will you catch  cold from walking around in wet hair because you had no towel to dry with? Will you be doomed to a life of having butted bread for breakfast because you have no way to make toast? 

You’re acting like a spoiled child. You need to get over it. Accept any gift graciously and do not read secret meanings or take offense from those who do not gift. And keep your attention on your own finances, not what someone else makes or what you think they can afford. Someone else’s money and how they choose to spend it is none of your busines.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I didn’t get my brother a wedding present, but he did elope. *shrug*

 

I’m not anticipating presents from all of my family. If they can and want to fine, but two of the folks from my side are flying in from cross country and everyone on both sides lives out of state so they will need to pay for a hotel. I figure for our wedding taking the time and expense to show up is the gift.

Post # 11
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey

View original reply
annaven:  you are being very spoiled here

if they can’t afford a gift, they can’t afford a gift

even if they could and didn’t want to, how they spend their money is none of your business

how about them giving you their son and inviting you to be part of their family – surely that is a huge gift in itself!

and I don’t like your attitude, your SO willing gave his brother that loan. he didn’t have to, and certainly should not expect a gift in return (except to return the money owed)

Post # 12
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Is there more to the story?  It sounds like your Fiance has been over and above in being generous with his family after his father’s death.  But that don’t been that you should have been expecting any kind of a gift in return for his good acts.   

Honestly I would let it go, it’s just a gift.  Listen to your Fiance.  Don’t let the fact you didn’t receive a gift sour things for you.  

Edited: just saw your update.  I’m sorry that you are bothered by other issues. I hope you’ll find a solution to reconcile your feelings.  

Post # 13
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
annaven:  Hopefully you can figure out a way to work through what is bothering you. 

Post # 14
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m going to disagree with the PPs I guess.  I too would think it would be really weird to not get a gift from close family.  I got my sister and brother in law a gift when I was just in college (read: I didn’t have any money).  I got them a nice picture frame off their registry.  I think it was about $20.  So I did get a gift, but it wasn’t anything super amazing- just something nice I could afford.  On the other hand, this hasn’t happened yet and even if it does, I don’t think it is worth any kind of fight or anger.  But I would think it was rather odd behavior not to give you anything.

Post # 15
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My Fiance and I help out both of our mothers (both are disabled) and getting gifts from them hasn’t even crossed my mind.  Partly because I would feel like it would be them giving us our money back when it should be going to something that THEY need.  Mainly because, as our parents, it is their emotional support and presence that we want and both of those are priceless.  FI and I are on the same page as far as what family means to each of us, and we have no issues financially supporting the women who sacrificed for us when we were children, making it possible for us to be in the current position to offer assistance.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by bk2bx.

The topic ‘Getting no wedding present by FI's family?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors