Post # 1
This is a very strange question but I would appreciate any help.. Is there any way to convince a new bride to take one of her bridesmaids out of her wedding photos (I will pay for it)? I was a bridesmaid and knew 4 months before that wedding that the friendship was over. Due to pressures and social influence I stayed in it, even though I put up with horrible treatment from the bride the Maid/Matron of Honor. I put my health at risk to stay in. I am on the end in most of the photos.. is there any way to convince her to take me out of them? I have already told her I was not her friend on her wedding day, did not want to be there and the friendship was done months before, I stayed in the party for the wrong reasons. Why would she still want to keep me in them? Or any ideas on how to get out? I really don’t want to be remembered as being part of the day. I wrote her a nice letter of apology regarding all of this. Any ideas would help.
Thanks Leanne (very stressed out)
Post # 3
Why are you concerned about whether you are in her photos or not? Is she doing something with the photos that’s a violation of your privacy or otherwise a problem for your reputation?
I would think that if you’ve moved on from the friendship, it’s time to do just that and move on. Unless she’s somehow using them in an inappropriate manner, I don’t see a reason to worry about how she chooses to remember her wedding day.
Post # 4
Why does it bother you so much that you are in them?
I can understand if the bride suggests this considering they are her photos but I don’t see how it affects you being in HER photos.
Post # 5
Um, this is weird. Are you saying that you want to be photoshopped out of her pics? Regardless of what you want, they’re her pictures and I doubt she’d want to ruin them anymore by trying to edit you out. You were a part of the day whether you want to be or not and there are pictures to prove it. If she decides to have you removed then that’s up to her but you have no control over it.
Post # 6
My opinion-whatever your issues are…just let them be. I would say that you should just leave the bride alone. Why would you expect her to change her wedding photos that she likely paid big money for? Not to mention, why would she want to pretend things were a certain way and they weren’t? She would want to keep you in the pictures because you were in the wedding. The fact that you didn’t back out when you didn’t want to be there is not the bride’s problem. I would leave her alone and let her do what she wants with her photos.
Post # 7
I’m dying to know the story…
Post # 8
I also feel like there’s no way a person can be removed from photos w/o really ruining them, especially if it’s a big group of people. I think you’re out of luck.
Post # 9
I’m sorry, it sounds like this situation sucked for you. I think your best bet to is forget about the pictures and just walk away.
Post # 10
Yeah, I am thinking I may be out of luck… a friend suggested that I take the 12 photos I have of the wedding and photoshop me out and then send them back to her.. but I don’t think she will bother to take me out of the rest of them. It’s really a long story. I was disrespected for 3 years in the friendship but I know I played a part in allowing the friendship to go on as long as it did. It got really bad 4 months before the wedding. I had an issue in the friendship I wanted to talk about. I told her I would pay for dinner and drinks if she just listened. She wouldn’t. I can’t believe I stayed in the party after that. I just didn’t want to mix up the dresses (if I dropped out there would be one of one type of dress and two of the other) and people kept telling me it was too late to drop out, but I went against my intuition and let myself be treated like crap. I really wish I didn’t have to be part of the memories of her most special day. I don’t want to be on her wall or passed down generations in her family. She did not deserve to have me there. I did not deserve the treatment by her and the Maid/Matron of Honor. I truly feel I did not have a place at the wedding, as I was not her friend. After begging her for a month to listen and sher refusing, I knew the friendship was completely over. I don’t understand why she would want to keep me hanging on her wall after I told her I was not her friend on her wedding day and I did not want to be there.. If I had a bridesmaid tell me she stayed in the party for the wrong reasons, wasn’t my friend or didn’t want to be there.. I am not sure I would want her in my most important photos. But I can’t know what is going through her mind… oh well…
Post # 11
So a photographer is photoshopping me out of the 12 professional photos that I am in. If they look okay, I will send them to the bride to give her an option to have photos without me in them, since I wasn’t her friend on her wedding day. I can’t control what she does and I am pretty sure she will keep me in them but I am hoping that she will prefer the ones without me in them. I know this is my mistake, but I really don’t want to be associated with those people by being in her most important photos of her life. Fingers are crossed.
Post # 12
I don’t understand why this is a big deal to you. Who cares if you are in a picture? You don’t have to look at them.
Post # 13
I agree. You can’t undo being in the wedding party just by photoshopping yourself out. I would just let it be and forget about it.
Post # 14
I would think it would be some revenge to remain in the pictures. She would have to see your face every time she looked at her wedding pictures. She would have to remember that someone was there that didn’t support her, and that she allowed that to happen. And she’d probably have to explain to her children who that stranger was and rehash all of those emotions.
Post # 15
You could have decided to back out, but you didn’t, so now you have to live with the fact that you’re in her wedding photos. They are HER photos, and you don’t really have any right to tell her what to do with them, even though your situation might have sucked. there’s not much that can be done about it. All you can do is move on.
Post # 16
@Leanna11 I really think you are putting yourself through more stress by doing this photoshopping business with the photographer, and then contacting the bride, than if you’d just let it go.
If it makes you feel better, to future generations you’ll just be a face in an album next to Grandma’s. That wouldn’t change whether you were friends or not.