Getting over fiancé’s sexual past HELP!!

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 61
6527 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

pagelikepaper :  Listen, OP, there has to be a better website or someone at church you can speak to about your situation.  Many of the women here are very sexually liberated and that is totally fine for them, but it doesn’t have to be fine for you. It’s not sexist to think that your virginity is something special.  If anything it’s sexist to think that you absolutely must think exactly like the hive because women.  While I’m not here to judge what everyone else does with their life, at the same time I just don’t see you getting a lot of advice here that will do anything but make you ignore or question your own values and you don’t have to do that either.

So… if you are a virgin and want a husband who is too, that’s okay. If the love this man is giving you now simply isn’t enough, that’s okay but you need to tell him right now, not continue to drag it out another 3 months, 3 years, etc.  He has a right to live a life without a judgmental wife and based on past posts, I doubt you can do this without judging him or constantly comparing or questioning yourself.

[Just deleted a huge paragraph after reading that part where I said I wasn’t here to judge]  Suffice to say that while people can do what they want and I accept that these days sex isn’t seen by the majority as a special thing, I personally would never be with someone who was with that many women, it does matter to me, bigtime, without religion being involved.  And the prostitution is something I wouldn’t even try to look past.  Gross.  Sex appears to be something that you value highly (as did I).  Getting with prostitutes implies sex is a lot more flippant, for lack of a better word.  Your values clash (or did, as it’s been 6 years apparently?)

I read the OP to my husband.  He thinks you must have a really low self esteem to still be with a guy whose values are so wildly different from your own; that you can’t seem to reconcile yourself to it but are still there anyway.  Do you think there’s some validity to that?

And I reiterate, I think you should talk to a religious mentor or find a website where people can better relate to your issue to get advice that is valid to your lifestyle.  Even what I say from my high horse should be taken with a grain of salt.

Post # 62
8263 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Changed my mind about posting. 

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