(Closed) Getting over losing a pet.

posted 6 years ago in Pets
  • poll: How long before you stopped crying almost every day?
    Less than one week : (9 votes)
    13 %
    Two weeks or less : (15 votes)
    22 %
    One month or less : (16 votes)
    23 %
    A few months : (15 votes)
    22 %
    6 months or more : (14 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 18
    Member
    2786 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Amayansong:  ((Hugs)) I’m so sorry for your loss. We left a beloved dog behind in the Philippines when we moved to United States. A year later, we found out from family that the dog ran away and was never seen again. I was only 8yrs old, but it broke my heart in two. To this day, I can’t think about him without tearing up. Right now, my oldest dog is 13.5 yrs old, and I sometimes feel panicked at the idea of losing her.

    What you’re feeling is completely normal and okay. Your husband is so right about the situation. Let yourself grieve, and don’t worry about shoulds or what anyone else says about it. Losing a loved one is hard. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    In early November, my cat didn’t come home one night. This was a kitten I found as a 2-3 week old stray in a rubbish tip on the other side of the world, and hand reared with a syringe. It was absolute hell exporting her to the UK.

    I have since engaged in what must be one of the biggest missing cat hunts in the UK. It has involved about 13,000 flyers, 500 posters, a private detective, a wildlife camera, 4 humane traps, a two storey rabbit hutch (!), and hours and hours of searching. I have also lobbied the local council and local MP to change their animal welfare regulations, and appeared in the local paper.

    In the start, I cried every day. I cry less now… after a month or so it becomes too exhausting to both cry and search.

    The hardest thing is the not knowing. If I can’t get closure, when will I ever know when to stop?

    Post # 20
    Member
    3025 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Well, I’m crying now.

    Post # 21
    Member
    983 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m so sorry that you had to lose your friend, but I promise you it was the best thing for her. That is hard to remember and remind yourself but it is true.

    My family had to have my first dog put down a bit over a year ago. She was sixteen and I had had her since she was a puppy, we grew up together. She became deaf and blind and on very expensive medication. She fell very ill one night when I was away and had to be put down the very next day as soon as I got back. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I’m still angry at myself, even though I know it wasn’t my fault.

    I still miss her terribly and I do still cry (am crying right now lol), but not every day. I totally understand the feeling that noone gets it but the bees here have already proven that some people do.

    There are many ways people greive. I don’t think I will ever ‘get over’ her passing or stop missing her. Maybe you will be the same. Either way though you will at some point be able to remember her fondly. It doesn’t matter if it takes you longer than it would take others. ((hugs))

    Post # 23
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @Amayansong:  Thank you. I’d also like to use this thread to appeal to people to always get their pets microchipped. My pets are all chipped, and it really does sway the odds in your favour if they go missing!

    I hope you feel better soon. I know how hard it is!

    Post # 24
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Amayansong

    2009 ish we had our lovely shiba inu. not even a year old. trained her, loved her, she was our boat dog. that summer we lived out on the boat fishing the alaskan seas. and i just didnt have the heart to make her wear her life vest every single day. it was inside waters and nice enough out. we fish at 2 knots. thats super super slow.  but it only took a second and she was gone. searched for days. there were 5 boats right there that were looking. how did we not find her…. it took a long time. i had to fish and live on the boat after we lost her. it was so hard. even now my Darling Husband doesnt really want another dog cuz no one could replace her. And it was so hard loosing her. it took me a long time. i always look for her when i ride the ferry. wondering if she swam to shore and is living in the woods now. you never know

    Post # 25
    Hostess
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @Amayansong:  I haven’t yet lost a pet but it is one of my greatest fears. My dogs are my babies and goodness knows when they are sick or injured it tears me up!

    I am so very sorry that you lost your precious one. I do hope that you find peace however long that may take.

    Post # 26
    Member
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @Amayansong:  I just put dog my dog of 16 1/2 years on Tuesday. I am so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you can find comfort in knowing our fur babies are playing together in doggy heaven, no longer in pain. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    It NEVER stops hurting, though I probably stopped crying EVERYDAY after about 3 months. But when I think about her and what we had to do I always cry. So its probably now once a week. We had to make the decision 3.5 years ago ๐Ÿ™

    Post # 28
    Member
    3198 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m so sorry about your loss ๐Ÿ™

    It took me about a month to stop crying every day, and then more like 3 to stop thinking about her (with or without crying) every day. 

    I think our puppy really helped me concentrate on moving on  (but my situation is night and day different from yours, so I’m not recommending anything to you). Sometimes I still get sad, but because of my situation with our dog and putting her down, most times I feel relief and happiness at the good times we had. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    2486 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    In March I lost the dog of the family I have been a nanny for for 3 years to cancer. I still cry over him.

     

    In October I lost the dog I had since I was 14 he was 18 and had to be put down. I don’t cry as much beacuse he needed to be set free but he was my childhood best friend for sure! I have my own dogs in my home and he stayed home with my dad the last  5 years but still…

     

    Two weeks ago I lost my other childhood dog. She had a sezier it was very sudden and unexpected but she was heartbroken at the loss of our other dog and I just don’t think she could stand being with out him.

     

    I still cry if I think about it enough but I try not to think about it.

    this year has been a huge year of loss for me. I also lost a highschool best friend and my grandmother so its just been rough.

    Post # 30
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    My family dog we had since a pup when I was 6 passed 3 years ago, the week we purchased our first home. I literally cried for days and when I went to my parents house I cried a lot and was so lonely. He too used to give me nose kisses and I still miss him soooooo much. I got another pup 3 months later and she is my baby I wouldn’t cope at all if something happened to her but I still miss him terribly. 

    Post # 31
    Member
    982 posts
    Busy bee

    @Amayansong:  I am so sorry for your loss. I totally understand where you’re coming from. SO used to have the most beautiful dog, I totally fell in love with him. We had been together for about 8 months when he had to have him put to sleep, the dog was in a lot of pain due to having no cushioning between his neck vertebrae. His neck would lock up and he’d be howling the most heart shattering howl. I remember his final night with us, I heard him drop to the floor and I got up to check on him, and he was trying to get back up and his neck locked up again. SO and I were crying our hearts out on the other side of the room, knowing we couldn’t do a single thing to help him (besides the heartbreaking decision to put him to sleep) – we couldn’t even go near him. It still makes me cry now, and it will be 6 years next year. SO has never gotten over losing him, he never will – I always say it’s not about getting over it, it’s about getting through it. His dog meant the absolute world to him. Through the ups and downs of life, his beloved dog was the one constant. We are talking about getting a dog, it’s taken this long to feel ready. But the downside is thinking of the potential for loss. 

    We have a family pet, a cockatiel at my parent’s place. He is 14 years old now, and I feel heartbroken already at the thought of losing him. He’s healthy and feisty as ever, he’s been such a great companion and pet. He’s our designated door bell as he hears people arriving at our house before we do!

    @Rachel631:  I hope you find your cat. We used to have a chinchilla cat with the most beautiful temperament, he didn’t even mind being carried around like a baby or being dressed up in doll’s clothes! (He did, however, mind when we had his long fur shaved for summer! He hid for days, then when he finally resurfaced, he looked so embarrassed. He wouldn’t even look at us until he got used to having a skinny, bare body and gigantic fur boots and head!). One night, he didn’t come home for feeding and locking up, and we never saw him again. We assume that somebody took him, he was such a great cat. I read a story yesterday about how a girl’s dog had gone missing 5 years ago, and has just now turned up 200miles from where he originally lived! A family had taken him in and looked after him. There’s always hope so don’t give up! I hope your cat turns up soon, safe and well. It certainly sounds like you’re doing everything you possibly can and I wish you all the best.

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