(Closed) Getting Pregnant

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Wait to start a family?
    Wait until you're set in your career : (16 votes)
    26 %
    Start trying and see what happens : (24 votes)
    39 %
    Bring it up again to the doctor : (12 votes)
    20 %
    Just go for it! : (9 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Pardon me for getting personal, but are you PCOS?  I was diagnosed about 8 years ago.  Totally sucks.  PM me.  I can give you some good support boards and some more information.

    Post # 4
    Member
    252 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Personally, I’d go to the doctor. I too have issues with getting/staying pregnant. Doctor sent me to a specialist. Your doctor will do the same, they will run test and talk to you about your options. Then you and your SO can discuss things in more detail once you two will then know all the facts and options. Best of luck.

    Post # 5
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I read some of your other posts and you mentioned that you met your Fiance when you were 16. Which would make you about 18-19 now. You had also mentioned that the two of you were a bit tight on money. (I don’t know if that’s still the case.) I’m not trying to get too personal, but I’d say hold off a bit. I think you need to give yourself a little bit of time to work, “find yourself”, and maybe save up a bit for a future child. Who knows, you could have a successful pregnancy on your very first try and end up with a child in nine months. But I think it’s only fair to the child to prepare yourselves and try to be able to give it absolutely everything, you know?

    I agree with your Fiance about getting into that career first. Once you have kids, the old excuse about leaving work once the baby arrives will turn into something like, “I don’t have time for college/career, I’m here taking care of baby all day.”

    I don’t think it matters so much how old you/your FI are when your child graduates HS. There are so many more important factors in raising a child.

     

    ***I hope this doesn’t offend you. Keep in mind, this is just my point of view. =] Sometimes I even have to tell myself the exact things I’ve just told you. Good luck with your decision.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think you need to get settled into a career first. You need to know that if something happens to him, you can support yourself and this future baby. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2395 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Minus the thyroid issue, I’m kind of in the same boat.  I’m actually settled in my career and have been for 7 years, but Darling Husband and I have wanted to put off having kids for atleast 4 more years…but…I know I will have difficulties getting pregnant and the longer I wait the less rosy the outlook looks.  So, we’re debating to start earlier than planned, or risk not being able to have any at all….I say go for it!

    As for the worst, if something does happen to him, well, that’s why I’m a believer of life insurance.  It’s really not that expensive.  Both Darling Husband and I have enough to cover all of our debt, the funeral, and enough for the surviving parent to take a year or two off of work should they need to stay at home with a kid….once we buy a house, we’ll up the coverage to cover the amount of the mortgage too. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    As far as age goes, my mom got married a few days after she turned 17, got pregnant almost exactly a year later (my older brother), got two bachelors degrees by the time I was in college (now has her master’s), and will be celebrating her 30th anniversary in a few months.  She stayed home until I was 4.  She homeschooled me while she worked full time and worked on her second degree.  She was in the third highest position at the university she works for before I started college (at 16), but transferred to a less stressful position with the same pay.  Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too young, or that you can’t manage kids and a career.  

    My SIL has had two miscarriages due to a similar condition.  She just had her first baby, two years after their wedding.  If you try and don’t manage to carry a baby to term, maybe you can look at adopting once you are established in your career.

    Post # 10
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    There will never be a “perfect time” to do anything in life, just a time that feels right and authentic to you.  Do you feel ready to be a mom? Is your Fiance ready to be a dad?  Can you support and nurture another life?  If you are truly ready then you will figure the rest out because we always figure out how to support the things we want in life. 

    Also,  why the big concern with age?  I’m 34, just married, trying to have a kid and will be well into my 50s before my kids are done with high school  – who cares? My kids will benefit from me having taken the time to figure out my life and have some amazing experiences before having them. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I second Ladyox’s advice to not get hung up on age.  30 seems so old now, but it’s really not… (says the 39 year old 1st time momma!).  Do what’s right for you and your family, but make sure that you have the resources to cover every contingency.

    Post # 12
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    There will never be a “perfect time” to do anything in life, just a time that feels right and authentic to you.  Do you feel ready to be a mom? Is your Fiance ready to be a dad?  Can you support and nurture another life?  If you are truly ready then you will figure the rest out because we always figure out how to support the things we want in life.

     

    I second this from ladyox.

     

    But I also agree that I don’t want to be above fifty when my kids graduate.  Some people prefer to start later in life, I don’t (& neither does my husband), so I get where you are coming from.

    That said, I would go to the doctor and see exactly what kinda problems you are facing.  I think what I would do depends on just how serious the health concerns are and what kinda timeline I was looking at.  At 18-19 I would guess that you would have at least a few more years to wait though, if you want to. 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    5823 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If you think you will have fertility issues, my gut says to start trying no matter your circumstances.  Because you can control those things, but you cannot control whether you will successfully conceive the first, second, third, or nth time.  If having a baby is important to you and you believe you have a small window of success, then I say go for it.

    My SIL had my niece when she was 18, and they are doing just fine.  I don’t think that has as much to do with it as your fertility.

    I also agree about life insurance.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    You’ve gotten some very good advise here.  A friend of mine has a thyroid condition, and she has miscarried twice.  She said it was very hard for her emotionally, and when she described the details of what she went through, I understand why a miscarriage is so hard.  Whatever happens, remember that it was meant to happen that way and that it wasn’t your fault.

    If you feel you are ready to become a mother, then in this order:

    1. Make sure Mr has an adequate life insurance policy to pay off all of his and your debts and allow you to live comfortably for two years.

    2. Talk to the doctor about how to set yourself up for the best possibility of a successful pregnancy.  Also get referrals for support groups.

    3. Start trying early, because you might find that it will take a while anyway.

    Post # 15
    Member
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Yeah…I was kind of shocked when you mentioned that your Fiance wasn’t even 30 yet.  My Fiance is 40 so we really do feel the need to get started, but I am established in my career (I’m 30).

    Don’t rush an important thing like this.  Getting a least a little job experience will give you more options in general and your Fiance has lots of good years left. : )

    The topic ‘Getting Pregnant’ is closed to new replies.

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