Post # 1
So, my Fiance and have saved ourselves for marriage. We’ve done *stuff* (c’mon, we’ve been together 6 years and we are 23 and 25…) but we haven’t gone all the way or even near… and I have less than 2 months until the honeymoon and I’m nervous. According to my period calculator app I’ll be ovulating right on my wedding day and we are sort of against birth control (religiously, though I have no problems with people who do take it, being as I’m a nurse!) but I don’t even know what kind of condoms to use? What kind of spermacide do you use? I feel like I get hives just standing by the condoms section in the store (yes, I’m 23, yes I’m a nurse, but I can be innocent when it comes to my sex life lol!!)…
Then, omg is it going to hurt? I mean, I’m 23 and most of my friends lost their virginity fairly young so I don’t know if my body, being more mature, will hurt less? More? When does it start… getting better? Is the whole honeymoon going to be uncomfortable/painful?
My Fiance is okay talking about this stuff, but while he thinks its a big deal to wait, he doesn’t think actually doing the deed is going to be that big of a deal, but I’m totally freaking out. I don’t think it ever hurts for the guy!!
*deep breathing here*
Sorry, can you tell I’m panicking a little? My V-card has an expiration date, lol. 55 days and counting. XD
I guess I just want advice/condoms that are good for sensitive skin/spermacide brands that are good? Lube brands?
Post # 3
@Mrs.C.to.bee: I think if you have sensitive skin try lambskin condoms, a lot of people are allergic to latex and use those. And as for lube…I’m pretty sure you should try and find one that’s water based and not oil (?) based. Honestly I know this from going to the “adult fun” stores, the sales people are really informed and it’s way less embarrassing than standing in wal-mart asking for lube and condoms to be unlocked from the case!
Post # 4
Condoms-Durex Extra Sensitive is great. Highly reliable, very thin, and they don’t reek of latex.
Spermicide-Don’t use it. It can irritate your vagina.
Lube-Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare is great. No glycerin, no parabens, pH-balanced. Nice and gentle, shouldn’t cause any trouble. The only problem is it can be hard to find, so you may need to order it online.
Pain-depends on the person, really. Just make sure you’re aroused and maybe have him gently stretch you a bit with fingers first.
When it gets better-It can start feeling better during your first time if you only have momentary pain (or no pain). Depends on the person.
Post # 5
Don’t be stressed. I was 32 when we got married aEd we waited – so I was quite a bit older than you and the pain was not bad. Midway through the honeymoon, it was good. And it will be a big deal, it’s a beautiful moment to share on your weddin night:)
Post # 6
are you experienced with internal stimulation? If you aren’t and you aren’t against it for moral reasons I would work up some stretching. It will also depend on how you are shaped and how he is shaped that could cause some pain. I would check up on a few simple positions because that will minimize pain if there is any.
Post # 7
Use lube! Seriously. Makes a huge difference. Also foreplay. And don’t expect fireworks the first time – it takes pratice.
Post # 8
Make your man buy the condoms! He should definitely buy them for your first time 🙂 And maybe get two or three types so that if one is totally weird, you can pull out a different kind.
As far as pain, movies and novels make it all sound so much worse than it is. I was slightly uncomfortable at first, but not for too long. ThingsThatShine is right – as long as you’re aroused, your body is made for it so you’ll be fine 🙂
Also, this may be a little Too Much Information, but I feel like it’s a good tip. Be prepared for it to be a little difficult for him to get in. Books make it sound like that’s super easy, but sometimes things just don’t want to end up where they’re supposed to be. It’s not a bad idea to use your hand to guide him in.
Maybe that was more advice than you wanted… oh well! 🙂 Have fun!! 🙂
Post # 9
Pain – We waited until we were married, and I’m one 21, but I didn’t have any pain. I have been using menstral cups for a while, which helped me be less nervous. Also, my OB gave me dialators to use, which I at first thought would be really weird, but I think helped a lot. I would suggest finding a position that let’s you be in contol of how fast things progress more, so that you can do what your body is prepared for. (Maybe where you’re on top?)
Condems – We’ve never used. Since I’m not sure which part of birth control you are religiuosly opposed to, I have an IUD, which I love. I think that it’s main goal is to try and prevent conception period, but it might also thwart implantation.
Lube – Definitely have on hand. We love coconut oit. It is NOT OK for latex condems, but is very easy otherwise. Doesn’t smell or taste bad, dries clean and not sticky and is meant to be somewhat anti bacterial so it may help combat UTIS. Speaking of which, we both took cranberry pill things during our honeymoon just in case.
Spermecide – We’ve never used, but I have seen some natural recipies. I’m not sure how well they work but I think those might be less likely to irritate your skin. I would suggest testing them elsewhere on your body first to gague your reaction.
We thought that having waited was great and I’m sure you’ll enjoy learning together and get the hang of things quickly!
Post # 10
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
Whoah, woah, calm down, chicka. Everything is going to be a-okay.
Me and Fiance have an awesome sex life (atleas 4-5 days a week) so I’ll try to help you as much as possible.
It didn’t hurt losing my virginity and I didn’t bleed, personally.
As for condoms/lubes…I never use lube as we really don’t use it,but, Durex is a great brand.
Post # 11
I usually buy that stuff in stores with self- checkout lanes. It’s less embarrassing that way. Just make sure the store doesn’t put them in those boxes becuase then it negates the purpose.
Post # 12
My Fiance and I are both virgins too. I’m pretty scared as well!! :S But excited at the same time. Yeah I know the first time will probably be painful on my end, and we’ll be awkward and nervous, but think about it; it’ll be the best sex you’ve ever had! 😀 And you’ll only get more comfortable and relaxed around each other.
I’m excited!!! 🙂
Post # 13
@silkspectre94: Yay for waiting, its something I always wanted to do but wasn’t sure if I actually would, then I met Trenton at 16 and we are both just stubborn enough to wait! At the three year mark we just went, we waited this long, it would be a waste to do it now!! My friend likes to tell the horror story about her friend that waited 4 years then a month before the wedding the did it, and they were so sad on their wedding night and disappointed. Stay strong!! I’m nervous and excited, but as it gets closer the nervousness is definitely winning over!
@rainbowglitterbride: Haha no! Bring on the Too Much Information that’s what I NEED TO HEAR. The stuff my mama didn’t tell me and what to expect so that I am not like wtf is this NORMAL? I was wondering about that, the getting it in. I mean, I use tampons, and once I used a super plus tampon my friend had (blah blah tss, i know) and it wasn’t the easiest thing to jam in there and he’s way bigger than a tampon!
I’ll definitely make sure we get a few different types of condoms, just so that we have that covered. I will be ovulating I think the day after the wedding (I know, fertal for 5 days before 1 day after) so we will probably go to no condoms after I’m done ovulating… does it suck to go back and forth? Like if we do it without the condoms, will be really hate using them when I ovulate?
What about period sex, what’s that like? Yay? Nay?
Post # 14
@Mrs.C.to.bee: I find it harder to stay wet when using condoms so lube is a must for me. I have really sensitive skin so condoms irritate me. However, they are a necessary evil sometimes so I deal with the inconvenience. I will say that sex feels much, much better without them, but not to the point where he will hate to use them.
As far as period sex, that is your own personal preference. I tend to be hornier around my period, and sex feels really good (not to mention orgasms are great for cramps!), but it grosses my husband out. I also find the clean up a bit annoying so I tend to use that week for blow jobs.
Post # 15
Darling Husband and I waited, too (married at 25). Though I don’t support their views 100%, themarriagebed.com was a great resource. Feel free to PM me if you would like.
Post # 16
I think definately have a few brands to try. Last thing you want is to be ready to do it then find the condom isn’t right. I think you need to talk to your Fiance first. When we did it for the first time it was painful but once it started to hurt I would say then he would just wait until the pain went away then when I said it was ok he went a bit further. This happened a few times until he was totally in. Just take your time and be open about the whole thing and you should be right!