(Closed) Getting really nervous about that honeymoon…

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 18
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Mrs.C.to.bee:  

We have sex during my period, though not as often as when I’m not on it. We “had” to get over it through since despite my best laid plans I was on my period during our wedding and honeymoon.

I got sponges similar to these but smaller and I just pop one in before we have sex (I push them up as high as possible so they don’t get in the way, he rarely feels them). We put down a dark towel just in case and he is on top. If we’re lucky we don’t encoutner any blood, we only have a couple of times. Afterwards I rinse them out (they are not for the squeamish) and soak them in wattered down vinegar until the next time. Some people aren’t into it, but It works well for us. 

Post # 19
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

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@MissFormaldehyde:  As for period sex, my dude actually doesn’t mind it. He’s just like “Baby …it’s only blood . I’m a United States Marine.

Post # 20
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs.C.to.bee:  

I’ve always been on birth control for other reasons since I was very young, and we don’t use any back up protection. So I can’t help you much there :/

I do agree with seabunny though, it is much less awkward going to an adult store than trying to shop anywhere else. They are the most informed and offer the most selection.

I was 20 when I lost my virginity, and like you, I was pretty terrified to experience my first time. So many of my friends had said how horrible and painful it was and it scared the poop out of me.

But guess what, it wasn’t bad AT ALL. The pain was little to none, and it improves very quickly.

It’s not something you need to rush. Just take it slow and you will be perfectly fine. Don’t think of it as “ok..time to get this over with..” work up to it with some foreplay and enjoy the moment!! have fun together!! Lube will most definitely help if you’re still nervous about pain, which is something else that they can help you pick out without the awkwardness at the adult stores. I would go for the separate lube instead of a lubed condom..I’ve never used them before but it seems to me that they wouldn’t provide as much lubrication as you may want or be expecting.

Basically..I know it’s hard..but try not to worry about it!! If I can do it, you can do it! 😉

Post # 21
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You may have already broken your hymen playing sports. The tearing of the hymen is what causes the pain. If you use tampons this could have already done it too. I like the idea of the lube bc I found that any additional “pain” would come from the friction around the opening of your vagina if you are dry. I find that the grocery store silicone bases are best and cheapest. Don’t use spermicide its a joke. Im in your boat when it comes to ovulation. bottom line is either protect or abstain (but seriously its your wedding night) or face the possibilty of kids. As for Fiance and I, we are facing that Kid possibility. As for Condoms- Im a fan of the original lubed trojan (blue) at first (I also like thier ultra ribbed but not for when you lose your vcard)  I wouldnt get ultra ribbed, ribbed or her pleasure for the first night. You might find the one trojan has that is hot for him and cold lube for you is best its a purple and blue box but I can’t remember the name. Hope this helps and Don’t stress women have been losing it for years and yet people are still doing it for “fun” you will be totally fine. If you find you need more control then take the top.

Post # 22
Member
826 posts
Busy bee

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@LaTortuga:  It’s not just hymen issues that can cause pain, the stretching of the muscles and all in that area is also troublesome for a lot of women.  

Post # 23
Member
3245 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was 22 when I lost my virginity. . . my experience was that if you are turned-on enough, it might hurt a bit at first, but then it will feel SOO good and be so exciting that you won’t care about the hurting. 

As for birth control, I think the best option for fertile times is non-latex (polyisoprene) condoms. (Finding out you’re allergic to latex in the first few weeks of having sex is no fun at all. . .happened to me. . . not pleasant). The non-latex condoms are available at any decent-size drugstore/pharmacy, some supermarkets, and even Walmart. I imagine sex stores would certainly have them, too! They, like latex, canNOT be used with oily lube.

Lube is GOOD for a first time! High-quality aloe gels available in natural foods stores, which don’t state that they are “external use only” are great for lube. Lots of lubes are available in stores too– just stay away from those made with glycerin, because those can encourage yeast infections. 

Most spermicide available in the US (made with nonoxynol-9) is very irritating and can provoke all kinds of infections. I don’t recommend it! However, there is a British/European product called Contragel, which is an lactic- or citric-acid based spermicide. It is available here: http://ladytobaby.com/show.php?item=257

If you will be using condoms, sometimes using a spermicide too helps alleviate any worries about condoms not working. However, my SO and I have used only condoms (being very careful to always follow correct condom procedure) for months at a time and never had a scare.

Other options to consider are the cervical cap or the diaphragm, which both need to be used with spermicide.

Good luck 🙂 and have fun!

Post # 24
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m 22 and lost my v a few months ago, it wasn’t exactly comfortable for me but it wasn’t painful just relax and focus on enjoying the special moment with your new husband and everything will be fine!

Post # 25
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  Hello! DH and I waited for marriage. I didn’t get nervous until right before it was about to happen. I agree with the lube suggestions…that was very helpful! We bought the Trojan variety pack of condoms! I can’t remember what they’re called, but they’re in a purple box/wrapper, and we really liked those, for starting out. It was a good way to experience a few different ones.

Post # 26
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

1)  Agreed with the lube suggestions — I never use condoms without it.  Usually what makes sex painful is a lack of lubrication.  I really recommend the brand Wet — it doesn’t have a nasty, chemical smell.  It’s odorless, and safe to use with latex.  A lack of lube can also lead to condom breakage — it’s the only time I’ve ever had one break. 

2.)  Trojan condoms smell like burnt hair, and/or nasty latex to me.  Not what I want to be smelling at an intimate time.  They also seem really thick.  Durex are much better (I really like their Avanti bare ones) — thinner, and no smell.  Crown skinless skin are nice, too.  Bottom line: not all condoms are even close to equal.  If you don’t like one kind, try others before you give up on them.  Don’t forget to leave a bit of (airless) space at the tip (pinch the tip when you put it on), and hold the base when you pull out.  You’re a nurse, though so you probably know that.  Condoms are excellent at preventing pregnancy — almost as good as the pill — if you use them properly. 

3.)  Buying condoms, lube and other goodies online is an awesome option.   Better selection, and better deals.  Amazon and condomdepot.com are both good options. 

4.)  Have fun!!  Don’t be afraid to experiment to see what you like.  Don’t be afraid of your clit, either.  It is your best friend when it comes to sexy time.  It’s hard for most woment to orgasm without giving it some or lots of attention. 

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