(Closed) Getting rid of a crush …..

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

I ALWAYS have crushes on people when I’m in a relationships. I’ve accepted it as a healthy part of who I am, as long as I don’t act on it. Sometimes the harder you try to fight things, the stronger they fight back. It works for me to just accept that I have a crush on someone and embrace the butterflies I get in my tummy.

 

Your situation may be a little different though, and I hope you find a resolution that akes you cofortable.

Post # 4
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Crushes are just that – a crush.  As long as you don’t act on anything, you will be fine, and I think the feelings will fizzle away.

Post # 5
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh honey, without our imaginations and flights of fancy, we would be as dull as sheep!  Your committed to another man, but not dead!  It’s a statistical improbability that you will live the rest of your life without experiencing intense chemistry with people who are not your SO, Vegas wouldn’t touch those odds.  What makes the difference is what you do about it, and to me it sounds like you’re towing the line and keeping temptation as far from you as possible!  Good on you for being proactive!  My only advice in this, is to take a hard look at this man, this intensly attractive man, eventually, he will  do or say something that you LOATHE…and that is a fact.   I find in my life and hobbies I run into people that are just soooo interesting, so mezmerising, I hear the same thing about myself from time to time, and as terrible of a flirt as I am, Mr. 99 makes me look like  wallflower, I guess the comittment we have to each other is just like banded steel AND we both have enough experience to know, that the other is all we’d ever want…but who doesn’t like a good flirt now and then?….especially when your husband is sitting at the same table grinning from ear to ear over what a drooling sod you’ve reduced that junior investment banker to with little more than a smile and a toss of your hair!

Post # 6
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Nona99:  lol i always love your replies but I can honestly agree with this 100%. I remember having crushes on people and then for whatever reason they do or say something and I’m like “what the hell?” and those feelings just VANISH haha. Its kind of funny.

Post # 7
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@definitelymaybe: Oh, wow, I know how it feels– it is appalling and guilt-producing, but it is common and normal! Even though it is very yucky!! I have had this problem in the past. My solution has been to somewhat limit how much I see the guy (though I do see him in social settings because my best friend/roommate is friends with him), never see him one-on-one, and to find out what he’s really like. The guy in question is really REALLY REALLY WEIRD, and unfortunately very screwed up, and a bit of (sorry for language, but it’s true) an attention whore. He’s good looking, which is what caused me to feel strange, but now that I know what he’s really like, I don’t like him anymore. Even if I do still notice the looks a bit, I find him kinda repulsive because of his personality.

So– find something (or many somethings) to dislike about crush guy. And if he tries to spend more time with you, find ways to avoid it. Go to the bathroom if you notice him coming, or excuse yourself to an imaginary meeting the second he comes in the door, or arrange with his intern for the intern to come and get things. Or, if there’s a particuler time he comes and gets the things, arrange to have someone else there (preferably a VERY CHATTY someone else) to deflect him.

Because I was uncomfortable with the way this guy was trying to spend time with me, I came right out and said “I don’t think I feel comfortable hanging out one-on-one, because if my boyfriend was hanging out that way with another woman, I would not feel comfortable with that, and I don’t want to potentially compromise my relationship by doing something that I wouldn’t be OK with in my partner’s shoes.” The guy respected that and now does not try to flirt with me anymore. Sometimes you just have to really tell them like it is to get them to leave you alone.

But yeah, it’s just a crush. It will go away.

 

Post # 9
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Sometimes people just have that effect on a girl. I’ve had it several times and it’s always kind of uncomfortable, but I know it’s natural. Just remember that it’s fleeting!

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