(Closed) getting sadder by the day…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Steph18:  sorry to hear you are going through this. 

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

Aww sweetie—you’re not pathetic at all! My heart truly goes out to you. Does your Fiance have a father that he is close to and that you see? Perhaps you could share a dance with him, sort of as a “welcome to the family” father and daughter-in-law dance?

Post # 5
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

As for your Fiance asking you to look at music, tell him your feelings and that you would prefer he and she (or just she) pick the song.

As far as walking you down the aisle, do you have a best friend that you are close with? I think it would be amazing if the friend closest to you walked you down, even if that is your maid of honor. Hold hands (like little girls do) and then at the end, Hugh and turn to your Fiance. That would make me cry.

Sometimes we let things beyond our control get us down. You are allowed to have these feelings of jealousy (I went to a wedding this weekend and the dad sang “I loved her first” before he gave her away). I was so freaking jealous because I don’t have a dad like that, I have no relationship with him at all. I do, however, have a maid of honor that I would break my back for and she would do the same. Weddings are about highlighting the important relationships and not the unimportant ones.

Hugs and congrats on the wedding!

Post # 7
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I had concidered walking half way down the isle by myself (with Fiance starting at the front and meeting me half way), we would meet up at the middle of the aisle and he and i would walk hand in hand towards the front of the ceremony. I found it had great symbolisim and made me feel at peace. It might be an idea you might concider. xoxo hugs to you!!

Post # 8
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You are not pathetic at all! My father isn’t in my life anymore, and I chose for it to be that way. I think it’s pathetic that some parents don’t care about their children!

I personally am walking myself down the aisle ๐Ÿ™‚

As for your fiance wanting to have a dance with his Mum, try not to let it get you down. Try to be positive about it, and be thankful that even though you don’t have a close relationship with either of your parents your fiance does. I know it’ll be hard, but his Mum is sick and I think it’s special if they can share a moment at your wedding.

Although, it may be a good idea to speak to your fiance about the music. Perhaps it’s a better idea for him to choose something ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

While my father is still very much in my life, we don’t get along. I haven’t hugged him in probably a decade. I can’t imagine anything more awkward than walking down the aisle and dancing with a man that hasn’t always been very supportive of me (emotionally).

And yes, I too have moments when I’m sad… I won’t be dancing to Butterfly Kisses with my dad like I’ve seen so often. When I was a little girl we did get along and I always thought we’d dance to that together. I think that your Fiance should be choosing the song he dances with his mother to, not you… wouldn’t a song he picked have more personal meaning anyway?

I don’t think you sound pathetic at all. I’m really sorry it’s making you so sad.

Post # 11
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand sweetie…my dad was banned from the US when I was 17 (after my mom divorced him, the laws had changed.) So I haven’t seen him in over 11 yrs. The whole wedding thing has been bitter sweet for me. 

Since you don’t have any brothers, maybe ask a cousin or something? Are you close to your father-in-law to be? (If he’s in the picture, consider asking him to do it.)

I was going to walk alone, then I figured, maybe have my little girls walk with me, but then I thought to ask one of my brothers…My wedding is in 2 days, and I’m having trouble coming to terms with the “daddy-daughter dance”,  too. 

Post # 13
Member
8360 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Are you close with your inlaws? Are you close enough to ask Future Father-In-Law to walk you down the aisle?

If your mum has sobered up wouldn;t it be a step in a positive direction to ask her to walk you down the aisle? Something like not asking her could potentially hampen a fruture relationship.

As for the dance- again could you dance with your mum or FFIL?

Post # 15
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Could you dance with his dad?

Post # 16
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You and your Fiance could walk down together. That’s what Darling Husband and I did and it was nice. I was nervous and having him with me helped a lot. 

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