(Closed) Getting the e-ring you want…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

well for starters if you havent had the marriage conversation with him yet, i wouldnt mention it. Wait until it gets closer to christmas, until you have seriously discussed marriage, then mention it. With most guys, talking about erings before he is comfortable with the idea will run him off

Post # 4
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have to agree with FluffysMama – you should have that conversation first.

If you already have he’ll ask you when he’s ready to look! My husband asked me to look at rings with him – your boyfriend will bring it up when he’s ready!

 

Post # 5
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

To echo what the other ladies have said, make sure you two are on the same page first.  6 months is not a long time to date, and for most people is a bit early to start showing off your dream ring.  It’s not a bad time to start testing the waters with marriage conversations, though.

Post # 6
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

+1 on all the PP’s. You might want to start hinting around the marriage conversations…you’ve been dating for a decent amount of time to start talking about those kind of things. Just to make sure you’re on the same page & you have the same goals for your relationship. If he isn’t there yet, don’t get discouraged! You’ve only been dating for 6 months! My SO & I have been together for almost 3 years and are now finally doing the ring thing 😉

Post # 7
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I think 6 months is much too early for a girl to bring up ring specifics with her guy. It’s very early to be so forward (many MANY guys would get scared off), and even then it takes away the one part of engagements/weddings that is traditionally the guy’s “job” – lots like to have a lot of fun with the surprise!

It’s okay to talk about where you see yourselves, and get a feel for what stage you are both in. But marriage as a conversation should wait until after you are on the same page. Me and my guy didn’t start discussing rings until we had *lived* together for over a year and a half, when we knew that we could successfully live in/run a household (+finances!) together.

Just curious – how old are you, and how many 6mo+ relationships have you been in? What about 1 year+?

Post # 8
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have a marriage talk first before a ring talk!

Post # 9
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

At this point in your relationship I would recommend maybe just going as far as bringing up the possibility of marriage. 6 months is not a long time to have been dating so if you really feel strongly just start to talk about it. I wouldn’t bombard him with your dream ring just yet.

Post # 10
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the PPs- it seems a little early to me, but then again, every relationship is different. My Fiance and I were together almost 8 years before we got engaged and that seemed insane to a lot of people. There are definitely ways to drop hints about a particular kind of diamond, etc., but if you two haven’t had the marriage talk yet, they might freak him out. 

Post # 11
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Absolutely agreed!  Wait for your Boyfriend or Best Friend to bring up marriage and see how the conversation goes.  If it’s a conversation that seems like it will be a few years before the proposal, don’t bring it up.  If he sets a timeline (IE he mentions saving for a ring, or mentions the ring period) THEN you can say ‘When the time comes, I would like some ring input’ and go from there.  Do NOT bring it up on your own, because if he isn’t on the same timeline as you and if you haven’t discussed marriage, it will lead to bad things.

Post # 12
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

6 mnths of dating and thinking about your ring seems way to early to me. 1 year of friends doesnt really make a diffrence here. I would make sure you guys have talked, from a guys point of view i dont see him proposing by christmas as this just seems fast and usually guys take alot longer to be ready for this than women. Not to say some guys wont be ready in a year, but 99% chance he wont be. I wouldnt even think about rings until you have a serious talk and were together atleast a year. This seems rushed like you want the wedding more than the marraige at this point. Are you really young? Because this sounds like something i would have said when i was in my teens. Strictly my opinion here, im not trying to be harsh, just maybe a reality check?

Post # 13
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

FWIW, 6 months doesn’t seem too early to me.  FI and I started dating around Christmas, first discussed marriage in May (so 5-6 months later), spent all summer talking about rings and eloping vs. wedding and he proposed in November.  Each relationship is different, so it’s impossible to tell how soon is too soon.  As long as you’re both on the same page about it, then it’s the perfect time 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

Six months is not very long. As MerryWidow pointed out, there always will be exceptions to that. And in fact, my sister and brother-in-law got engaged after five months of dating and had the ring at six months — they’ve been married 10 years this summer.

But generally speaking, six months is early to be having the ring talk. If he is not at that point yet, I would not bring it up.

I know you love the ring you found online, but trust me, very few rings are one of a kind. That ring, or something like it, will always be available when the time is right. If and when you two get to the point of discussing marriage, you’ll have to decide whether you feel comfortable telling him you would like input on the type of ring you get.

Personally, I think it is perfectly fine to ask for a ring that is your style. While Darling Husband and I were dating, I never gave him ring hints or requests. He ended up proposing with a solitaire and I honestly did not want a solitaire. I nicely asked him if we could have the diamond placed in a new setting and he agreed. He just wanted me to be happy and to like it, so I shopped and hunted until I found something. I did it all by myself — he was happy he didn’t have to go around to all of those stores, haha.

Post # 15
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

At first, I thought this post was about some kind of new-age digital rings called e-rings that were replacing the traditional metal engagement ring… maybe one day. 

Post # 16
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the PP.  But one thing I wanted to add is to not get so focused on a ring that you HAVE to have.  The reason I say this is because 1. he might not be able to afford the ring and it will make him feel horrible if you are going to be dissapointed with any other ring but that one. 2.  Sometimes the guy picks the ring and just surprises you with it and you don’t go ring shopping together…the ring ends up being special because it is what he picked for you. 3.  it is NOT the ring that is the important part…it should be the committment and the meaning behind the ring that is the important part.  I think that at 6 months (friends prior to or not) this isn’t something you should be focusing on yet. 

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