- 6 years ago
The boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years (3 in July). He’s 34, I’m 26 and I’ve been ready to get married for a while now. In fact, I was sure I’d get a proposal last year when he took me to Colombo for our anniversary. I was wrong. I let that go because to be fair, we’d never spoken about it and I figured he needed to know I was ready. So sometime in October 2011, I finally brought up the marriage topic. It wasn’t an easy discussion but he did tell me that of course he was going to marry me. He even asked me when I would like to do it and I said ideally in December 2012 or early 2013. And that was that. My birthday came by in November and I was so excited when he blindfolded me and led me to his room but no ring. I didn’t say a word. Then came Christmas, then New Year and still nothing.
Sometime in January 2012, he told me that I could tell my best friend that we had decided to get married and that I could tell my parents “soon”. So of course, I got excited thinking the proposal would happen soon. It’s now April and I feel like a fool. And it’s not just about the proposal. I just feel like we haven’t done ANYTHING to even move in that direction. We were supposed to look for houses together (to move into AFTER we tied the knot). We’ve only had one day of house hunting so far and since then I haven’t been able to coax him to come again. We were supposed to start a joint bank account and haven’t done that yet. I just feel like he has an excue for everything!
Sometime last month I had a breakdown and cried and asked him what the hell was going on to which his response was that I was nagging him (HOW?) and taking the fun out of it and that he’d do it in his time. He even said “Don’t you think I wanted it to happen by now?” Why hasn’t it then. And what’s this nonsense about “his” time. This is about both of us and I have a right to ask him what is going on.
Anyway, I decided to lay low for a while, not bring it up at all. Unfortunately I got a little drunk on our trip 2 weeks back (again, no ring) and I had to ask him why he hasn’t done it yet. His answer? “Because I haven’t bought a ring yet and because I think it’s unfair to make you a part of my life’s problems.” Huh? We’ve been together 3 years. I already AM a part of his life’s problems, right? I’ve been there for his family and him no matter what and it kinda hurt to hear him say that. He still includes me in talks about our future and things like that but I don’t believe it anymore.
I’m just getting tired of all the excuses. Why build up my excitement. Why lead me on if you’re not going to do it. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum because at the end of the day, I want to marry someone who wants me as much as I want him and I’m starting to think this may not be it. I’m tired of the talk. I want action.
Is he ever going to do it? And what should I do from here on? Keep waiting?