- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Originally, when my SO brought up engagement, etc, we talked and he told me he felt that the guy should totally pick out the ring on his own and it should be a surprise to his partner (that she should really have no say in it.) I explained to my man that I felt that I would like to give at least some input, since I would be the one wearing it everyday.
It started out innocently enough. We looked together online and I showed him a few designs I liked. I told him I was torn, because I thought a gemstone ring would be more unique (and less controversial) than a diamond..but at the same tme, I loved the brilliance and colorlessness of diamonds.
As time passed, I found myself looking at more and more rings and getting more and more torn about what I wanted. I told him though that it was tough to look online – because something could look great in a picture and horrible on a hand.
So, we went to a couple jewelry stores. That made it worse! I am the most indecisive person ever. We saw a few gemstones, but I didn’t really like the way they looked on my hand. I started to look at diamonds. I always thought I would want a princess cut, but I didn’t really like it on my hand, and started to like more of a round shape, plus it looks bigger than a princess of the same carat size.
But then I couldn’t decide if I wanted a traditional shaped ring, or a more unique “twisty” shape like we had seen online. But they didn’t have any to try on in the store so we would have to get one designed and I don’t know if the twisty shape would look good on my finger!
So by now I can tell my BF is a little agitated. We went into a store last night and I started asking all these questions about price, color, size, other options etc. I was telling my BF “well, the color should at least be a G…and I think we wouldn’t want to go for any less than .8 carats…” The jeweler really embarrassed me because he said something to my BF like “why are you even letting her look!?! This is YOUR decision, man!”
I felt really bad and backed off and told my BF just to decide because I would like anything he got me. He’s like..”yeah right, if I would have picked it out I would have just gotten you a small princess diamond solitare, which you would have hated.”. Hmmm…no cmment. I feel so bad focusing on the ring and trying to micromanage the process! But I keep having dreams about getting a ring I’ll hate. I keep saying I’ll shut up and let him decide but then sneakily going online and looking up more and more pictures of what I like.
How do I step back from the process and just let him decide and not freak out about liking the ring or not?