(Closed) Getting very frustrated with my sisters…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry, your sisters are just rude and to not even be able to talk about the wedding at an engagement party is ridiculous. Your parents should step in and tell them to get over themselves. If they don’t want to do that, you have my deepest regards. Tell your parents what dresses they need since they’ve decided to pay for them and tell them to go ahead and order, and when they come in, have the dresses shipped to your sisters. That way they know you’re not messing around anymore.

Good luck. Your sisters sound like mean drama queens and really, I think you need all the (((hugs))) you can get!

Post # 4
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yikes. I’m so sorry!

They don’t want to hear about your wedding, they don’t want to wear matching dresses or the dresses that you’ve liberally chosen, they don’t want to support you or plan anything or ATTEND anything but the wedding, so the question I have is….why are they your co-MOH’s? I think the step you may wish to consider is asking them if they want to be a part of your wedding. This is obviously very painful for you and an annoyance for them, and you’ve been very gracious in putting up with it. Honestly, it seems to me that the time has come for you to stand up for yourself. You’ve tip-toed around their feelings for so long, but what about yours? I have older sisters too and I’ve been fortunate that they’ve supported me. But I did have a very close friend who I considered a sister that pulled this stunt and like you, I did everything I could to be accomodating. But finally when she insulted my Fiance I put my foot down. I’ve been much happier since. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

if you aren’t allowed to talk about it then why would they want to be in it.  You should try and very politely ask them to step down.  You could say listen I know all this wedding stuff is stressing you two out why don’t you two just come to the wedding and that way you two can relax and not worry about the bridesmaids dresses?

Post # 7
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Looks like you are doing the best with your situation.  I really hope that after all this, on the day of your wedding they can stand up there, let go of their own issues and support you.  Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m sorry that you are going through this.  It sounds like you are dealing with it the best that you can.  The only options I see are to “grin and bear it” and just trust that they won’t let their insecurities and such ruin the actual day OR discuss this with them individually and see if they would like to step down from the wedding party.  It seems as though they already unofficially checked out. 🙁  I’m an older sister, the oldest actually, and I could never imagine ruining my little sisters day. I’m so sorry this is happening to you 🙁

Post # 10
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am 32 and 2/4 bridesemaids are single and 32. They have not had relationships for years.  They still have been very happy and supportive of my wedding.  We talk about my wedding all the time, and they planned a suprise bridal shower for me.  They have managed to put their own feelings aside, and be happy and excited for me.   I think your sisters are being ridiculously selfish by insisting on not talking about your wedding or participating in any of the festivities.  They need to suck it up and stop throwing themselves a pity party!  They should be there for you especially as MOH’s and share in your joy.   You should stop accepting their attitude and start talking about your wedding.  If it troubles them to participate, I would change their roles to bridesmaids and allow a friend who is more enthusiastic step in as Maid/Matron of Honor..  It’s called an honor for a reason!

I would email or speak to them; say you are taking their lack of enthusiasm personally and want to know if they would preffer to be involved in the wedding another way. Tell them that you love them and need them to help with your wedding.  Stop letting them emotionally sabotage you with their selfish behavior

Post # 11
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I cant believe you cant even talk about your wedding, thats so cruel im sorry but it is.  Compared to me, at least your sisters arent pulling this crap that mine is, dropping out of wedding, now not even attending, pulling my nephew out of being ring boy, sisters suck sometimes and I never knew how much she really sucked until I started planning my wedding.  I really hope it works out for you, dont let them get you down, its our day

Post # 13
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Somehow I have a suspicion that there HAS to be something more to this. It’s understandable that your sisters may be jealous that you’re getting married before them while they’re both still single but for them to have this kind of behavior toward you is really more of resentment.

Even with their insecurities it’s ridiculous that they wouldn’t support you even in the slightest bit. Could this jealousy extend above and beyond this wedding? Has there been other instances in your relationships with them where they’ve exhibited similar sentiments, etc.?

 

Post # 15
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Ouch.

Post # 16
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Can’t pick family–on the upside, it sounds like your other BMs are being supportive and fulfilling their duties.. my only piece of advice is don’t let Anastasia and Drisella’s negative attitude affect you on the day of your wedding. You know the way they are, and you have to be prepared to just let it roll off your back and not stress you out when it counts. Good luck!

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