Post # 1
We decided to change our date from June to April, which has put a rush on things to get done. Now I’m just feeling like our wedding isn’t going to be great because it feels like we’re just inconveniencing everyone. Granted, we’re doing a beach wedding on a Monday morning with a lunch reception in a city that’s a 6 hour drive from our hometown. But FH wanted to do a beach wedding and that’s the best area we could find in our budget. I’m just getting nervous because I feel like no one will enjoy it and they’ll be complaining the whole time. We’re only inviting family and a few friends, so it’s not a huge group. I’ve tried to confide in FH but he just keeps saying “Screw it, if they don’t like it, they don’t have to come.” I’ve tried to ask for his opinion for after party ideas and he has none, he just keeps saying that it will work out. Idk, I just want to cry. I feel like no one is helping me plan this thing and that no one is taking it seriously. I really want to say f it and just elope in Hawaii but I know our families would be pissed.
Anyway, this was just a vent. I don’t have anyone else to really talk to.
Post # 3
First just take a minute and take a breath. Secondly remember why you are getting married in the first place. Next take ten minutes to make a checklist of everything that you Have gotten done and what you still need to do. ( I find that has helped me take some of the pressure off of myself, seeing everything that I have gotten done written down gives me the motivation to finish the things off that still need to be done. )
Is there a reason that you chose to change your weedding date? If you really are not happy with your new date can you change it back? You are getting married for yourself and not for anyone else. It is your day and you should have what you want. No matter what your budget or timeline is, there is always a way to get what you want.
Post # 4
@Mrs.Goguen: I took a deep breath and then I started crying lol. We changed the date because the weather is much better in April and people will be on Spring Break. The beach is very foggy in June, and most of FH’s family will be on break. The thing is that we haven’t really gotten anything done besides book the reception, book the wedding planner’s beach ceremony package, and schedule engagment pictures. I’ve been trying to figure out transportation issues because a few people in FH’s family are picky and one person is disabled. All the pressure has fallen on me to plan this thing and all FH keeps saying is “Screw them if they don’t come. Screw them if they don’t like it.” FH doesn’t even understand why we’re paying for everyone at the lunch reception…he doesn’t know that we’re hosting a celebration. So I can’t really team up with him for help. And my bridal party is going through a crapload of their own issues. All the planning just fell on my lap and now I’m trying to dig myself out of it.
Post # 5
@misssydneyj: I am sorry that you are having to deal with this on your own, it definetely makes it harder to enjoy the whole process of planning. I do think that you should take a little of your FI’s attitude and plan things like you want them to be (for the people who are picky about transportation if they don’t like what you have picked out you can always give them the contact info for a rental car agency and they can find their own way).
My Fiance isn’t into the whole planning thing, basically all he says is “if that’s what you want then we will do it” or “just let me know how much it will cost”. Sometimes that has made things easier though, I didn’t have to consult him about the flowers, DJ, timeline, BM’s dresses, or tuxes. (seems to have made things move along faster that way)
It sounds like you already have some of the big things knocked off of your list though, Venue – check, engagement pics – check ( are you going to use the same photographer for the wedding, if so then Photographer – check) Have you found your dress yet? Or your BM’s dresses?
And don’t forget you still have six months to nail down all of the little things. Everything will work out (really it will), you just need to take it one project at a time. 🙂
Post # 6
@Mrs.Goguen: Yeah I’m trying to take his attitude, but I just have a feeling that if this wedding isn’t 100%, all the blame will be on me. My mom’s side of the family has already stopped talking to me and is pretty much coming to see if I really do it. My dad’s side is pretty cool with everything. And my in-laws just require so much attention. It’s draining. And FH isn’t under the same type of pressure. I’m okay with him not caring so much about little details, but when it comes to his family, he puts it all on me. I’m the one who asks him to talk to his family about disability issues and transportation, what’s their budget for hotels (they don’t work), and all the other big stuff. He doesn’t do it. He just lets it roll of his shoulders as if it’s not a big deal. But I know that if they have a problem, they will announce it with full force and all hell would break loose.
I have my dress and my BM’s are wearing short black dresses, so that’s easy. 6 months sounds like a long time but factor in work and part-time classes (I’m taking classes to raise my GPA from my undergrad years) and it’s not that long. I haven’t been enjoying wedding planning at all. My mom doesn’t talk to me so it’s not like I have her for support, and I’m an only child so my family is really small anyway. It’s just all on me. Hopefully things do work out because I’m so close to just canceling everything and eloping somewhere. Thanks for your advice though 🙂
Post # 7
Sounds like you are all frazzled out and have way too much going on.
first breathe and collect you thoughts. See what you have already accomplished and what need to be after wards. write it down and draft up a time line. It will help kepe thing in presepctive and allows you to deal with one thing at a time instead of getting side tracked with all the problems
You have already
1. Booked the ceremony location
2. Booked the recepetion
3. Booked the engagement pictures.
Now you have to see what you needs to be done now. Since you have it in April and its now October you have 6 months which is enough time since its a small ceremony and you already have the big things out of the way. Just concentrate problem on an individual basis.
With the transportation problem, since i don not knowthe details, maybe you can Book/block nearby rooms, since its 6 hours away the guest can come in the night before. If the hotel is far maybe you can arrange a shuttle from the hotel to the venue.
Also maybe you should sit down with your guy and explain to him the reason WHY all of this is stressing you out. Hopefully that will make him more supportive of what you are going through.
I hope everything works out, Don’t get too stressed. In the end as long as you are happy that is what matters.
Post # 8
@Kura: Thanks. I’m actually Googling wedding planning timelines now..hopefully it helps me! I tried to tell FH why I’m stressed, but he just keeps saying let it go and screw how everyone else feels. I mean, I understand it’s our wedding, but you don’t just throw a party and say screw the guests that I’m inviting. I’m going to try again and maybe say it in a different way so hopefully he gets it.
Post # 9
dont give up! I almost did too! I had had it! too much pressure! He ended up taking over for me though. after meltdown #2 we booked a bunch of stuff and I felt better. I really really hope that stress goes away for you!