(Closed) Getting your SO to chip in with house work

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Maybe he will get the point if you throw his stuff away…kidding 😉 I’m not really sure how to approach this the right way, but it sounds like you work a lot too and it’s not fair you have to pick up after him. I’m sorry…hopefully some of the other bee’s have some advice for you!

Post # 4
Member
2415 posts
Buzzing bee

@lilymarie23:  

 

We’ve talked about getting a cleaning company to come in twice a month but I don’t want to get it until he can mantain the messes over the 2 week period.

 

Why?

Man, I would hire that cleaning company asap.

If you were sitting around and being a lady of leisure, it would be one thing. But if you’re working as hard as he is, you shouldn’t have this dumped on you.

There’s an old saying — “Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?”

My advice is to call that cleaning company and make yourself happy. Once your SO sees the bill, he might have a change of heart faster than if you “wait until he can maintain the messes over the 2 week period.”

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
3627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmm I know what you mean about not wanting to nag him. Can you say “hey let’s find a 5-minute time to talk about something that’s been on my mind.” That way, he’kk know it’s important.

Approach it like you would with another roommate – like it’s a practical matter. Tell him that you each need to clean up after yourselves because neither of you has the time to clean up after the other person. Like, “I would never expect you to clean up after me since I know you work such long hours. Unfortunately, I’m not able to clean up after you either, so let’s both try to be more conscious of our messes.”

Post # 6
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Do not throw his stuff out… that will only make the situation between you two worse.

Been there… done that.  Lots of people are extremely sensitive about “their stuff”

Best advice is to either corral it into one set spot (or box) on your own, or have a Housekeeping service do it for you when the are doing the general cleaning.

PS… Housekeeping services have saved many a marriage… a good housekeeper is worth her weight in gold (and sometimes more)

 

 

Post # 8
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had the same issues! I told him how important it is to work as a team on keeping the house clean. I got a dry erase board and actually set up cleaning schedules for us. I know it sounds silly, but if you can do small chores each day, it helps. So far it’s working.

Post # 9
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Totally have a similar issue, he works a lot and comes home, empties out his pockets, throws his clothes on the floor, kicks his shoes off, leaves plates everywhere (not even the sink) and for example, was in bed last night drinking a bottle of water and just THREW IT ON THE FLOOR. I wanted to strangle him… clearly an only child whose mother just picked up after him.

He argues that because he has offered to get us a cleaning lady that I should just do that and not get mad but as you rightly said, THE CLEANING LADY ISN”T THERE EVERY DAY. I honestly dont know what to do either. Things like “have a serious talk with him” don’t work. He just doesn’t care at all about it and that’s not going to change.

Good luck to you, honestly. It’s maddening and unlikely to change until you have a complete freak out. (Which I’ve tried and that didn’t work either). The ONLY time he has cleaned is when I’m at work until like 10PM and he wants to do something nice. Like it’s a favor to me!

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