GF snoops, BF sets up fake proposal.

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
  • poll: If you were the GF, would you dump him?
    Yes; a fake proposal is cruel. : (36 votes)
    48 %
    No; I deserved the wake up call. : (22 votes)
    29 %
    Yes; NOT because of his fake proposal set up. Snooping is a sign of a greater issue. : (12 votes)
    16 %
    Other - commenting now! : (5 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9370 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    He’s an asshole. There were other ways to handle this other than being cruel. I’m anti-snooping but two wrongs don’t make a right.

    They clearly have trust and communication issues so it’s best the relationship ends.

    Post # 3
    Member
    4375 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    notmeeither :  I think it’s kind of funny and wouldn’t dump him for it. But I would be eagerly waiting for a proposal! Lol 

    Post # 5
    Member
    8946 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    hikingbride :  well to be fair he did handle it another way, he talked to her about snooping and she denied it aka lied about it. It was an arsehole thing to do on both ends but I think she is more in the wrong since he hadled it maturely in the first place by asking her and she lied. He just used her lie to catch her out. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    7898 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    lifeisbeeutiful :  

    I think it’s kind of funny and wouldn’t dump him for it. But I would be eagerly waiting for a proposal! Lol 

    Really !!?? Good God. I think it’s bloody awful . Not saying she should have snooped, but to arrange a fairly  elaborate hoax to punish her is to essentually say ‘there my girl , see how bad you’ve been, you wiill have to be a lot better than that to be worthy of the ineffable  gift of my hand in marriage’  Ugh. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1863 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    notmeeither :  my husband knows my username for wedding bee but that doesn’t mean I want him looking through my posts. I’ve obviously put these out into the world but if he pawwed through my previous posts it would feel like snooping. Even if my husband was a wedding bee user, I wouldn’t expect him to re-read everything I’ve posted but obviously he would see posts if he then went to post in the same thread. So I get why the guy feels like reddit is private.

    It’s also not as simple as reading his posts. She’s read his personal messages and then lied about it. Waiting for a proposal doesn’t justify that you can read his messages. I think what he did is a dick move but at the same time if my husband lied to me about invading my privacy, I can see the need to catch him in the lie. After this, I think our relationship would be over. If I was her I don’t think I could take the nasty trick he played, even if it was my own doing. And for him I don’t think I could trust her to not invade my privacy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Would be furious!! but not to the level of dumping him.

    Post # 9
    Member
    229 posts
    Helper bee

    In my opinion, snooping is a serious crime in a relationship and I don’t think people regularly snooping are in a position to get engaged and shouldn’t be “waiting”. The title makes it seem like he actually proposed but didn’t mean it, whereas all he did was comment on Reddit that he was going to do it. I actually found it a bit funny.

    For context an ex snooped on me for my entire relationship and because of it I lost my autonomy. So for me, it’s up there with cheating. It’s a complete violation of trust. And it can be used as a way to control people without their awareness. It can be a sign of abuse. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3242 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    She read his personal messages. If she would have minded her business and stayed out of his account, especially considering she already knew he was suspicious of her snooping around, she wouldn’t have gotten tricked. 

    Not the nicest way to handle the situation, but it gets the message across that fell on deaf ears the first time around. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    She snooped. She got caught. She LIED about it when confronted. She didn’t come clean afterward. She continued snooping. Not only do I think he did the right thing by setting up a trap she could only fall into by snooping, I think he should have dumped her once he got confirmation that she’s a liar who habitually violates his boundaries.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    notmeeither :  I agree that he tried to handle it in a “better way” and she wasn’t mature enough to fess up and admit what she’d done wrong. I think she’s the asshole, I think his way of forcing her to admit snooping is kind of hilarious honestly. But I don’t really understand “agonizing” over a proposal either. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    She snooped and then lied about it. When you lie about something like that it’s going to start breaking the trust. And to me that is major deal breaker. I guess if he didn’t go to the extreme maybe she would have just blown it off as it’s a no biggie situation. I bet she won’t ever do that again. Lesson learned I am sure. I wonder how many of her friends she told smh. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee

    Normally I would be up in arms over a fake proposal and how effed up that is, but in this case, she kind of had it coming.

    She snooped and then lied about it when he tried to get her to admit it. She literally denied it when she had the opportunity to talk about it. That’s messed up

    He then found a way to prove she was snooping and lying about it and she got caught. I don’t feel bad for her in this case.

    It would have been different if she had just admitted she snooped. Some of us do it, whatever. I don’t recommend it in most situations but I personally don’t think it’s worth breaking up over unless it’s constant or out of control or used to control someone.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3285 posts
    Sugar bee

    This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. Neither one is a prize.

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