Post # 16
mrsssb : I was ghosted in high school by a guy who was supposed to take me to prom. His mom had to break the news to me I wasn’t being picked up, that night. I had a sweet boyfriend who made up for it a few years later. When I told him the story, he took me shopping for an evening gown, and took me to Hollwood to see a Broadway production of Cabaret with Teri Hatcher. He picked me up at my house, and brought me a red rose corsage to match my red gown.
Post # 17
- Wedding: April 2021 - City, State
mrsssb : Thanks! I don’t think I understood the whole define the relationship rules until four years into my relationship with my now-fiance. I remember reading this dating blog and it talked about when it is appropriate to define the relationship and when to say I love you and I was like “Oh my gosh, we totally did this all wrong!” to my fiance who he himself was just as surprised as me. We also broke the social rule in that he said “I love you” immediately when he confessed his feelings to me and asked me out and I read you aren’t supposed to do that right away.
Post # 18
It might not be the norm but how liberating! Two people who are open and honest and just say how they feel! No games, no worrying about random stupid rules that exist solely to keep people from being embarrassed when they are vulnerable. Because that’s really the only reason all those dating rules exist. Because everyone is too afraid of looking desperate. All that really means is no one wants to be embarrassed by admitting their feelings to someone and having them not be reciprocated. To be able to strip away that fear of being vulnerable is amazing. That’s pretty cool, so glad you two found each other.
Post # 19
I dated a guy once for two months whom I really liked. He had come on super strong and intense like a freight train at the beginning – he told me he wanted to see me any chance he got, that he wanted to be around whenever I would have him, told me how strong his feelings were for me, constantly asking where I had been all his life. He would take me out to dinner and literally spend the whole time gazing at me. We would kiss for hours at a time. We became exclusive after a week. I found it really intense and overwhelming at the time – he was texting and phoning me a lot and he always wanted to see me. In fact, I even got really sick with very bad flu (in hindsight I am pretty sure the intensity of the relationship made me ill) and I was so sick that I could hardly sit up, but he still wanted to come and see me. It was a little off-putting, but I figured he must really like me, and I really liked him as well, so I brushed it aside.
After a month of dating, the intensity died down – I figured that was normal, but there were no more texts during the day, which was fine. We were both working, and he would call me on his way home. Then he started to get a bit flaky out of the blue – suddenly he had a late work dinner so couldn’t call me one night. Then he started cancelling Saturday plans because wasn’t feeling well or needed time to himself. Then on a Sunday morning I got a lengthy break-up text saying he thought he was not really ready for a relationship and that he thought he had lost feelings for me and that I deserved better.
He said he wanted to stay friends though, and we met up for a very brief drink about 2 months after that. The drink went really well and during it, he said we could get together again at the end of that month when his busy patch at work was over. However, after that, he completely ghosted me. Didn’t reply to my texts, finally said he thought it would be best if we stopped all contact and then blocked me a couple of weeks after that. Maybe not strictly ghosting, but it still came as a big shock to me.
Looking back though, there were red flags. His intensity at the beginning. He also confided to me that he was still legally married, that his wife was overseas and had cheated on him and that he was still trying to serve papers on her because she had cut contact. (I confirmed this with his family, but all the same.) I also don’t think he ever deleted his Tinder profile when we were together even though he said he had.
I also just want to say, as if it needs to be said, that ghosting is a really shitty thing to do because of the effect that it has on the ghosted person psychologically. When there is no explanation, it is very confusing, and you can spend a lot of unnecessary time wondering what you did to deserve it. It can really knock your confidence.
Post # 20
Oh boy, I have a couple.
Several years ago I met a guy in a college class–we were lab partners. Spent the whole semester flirting and then finally he asked me on a date when the class ended. We hung out a ton and talked nonstop for the next three months, and then…boom, he suddenly became mostly unresponsive, and then altogether stopped talking to me. I had absolutely no idea what happened. Fast forward 5 months and he was suddenly back in my inbox. Said he was going through some shit, so I gave him another chance to make it right and allowed him to come see me. Except this time he disappeared again after just the one date. At that point I was like, “okay I’m done he clearly isn’t interested in me”. Few months later he started dating a girl he met at work. They broke up 8 months later and he started messaging me again with this whole ass apology saying he regretted how he treated me and he fucked up with his girlfriend too, but that time I was just like “mmmm k sucks to be you” because I understood that if I allowed him to he would just keep rubber banding at me.
Second one is less interesting. Met a dude on Tinder, he sent up a million red flags almost immediately (only wanted to hang out at night, never came to my house and always wanted me to drive to his etc.) but unfortunately I missed them all because I was lonely and I wanted attention. After I’d been seeing him for a few months I asked him if he was still on Tinder, and he said he wasn’t and he was only seeing me. But then he ghosted me two weeks later completely. I logged back into Tinder and it only took like 3 swipes to see he had deleted his old account and made a new one. I was embarrassed how that one went down because my friends kept trying to tell me was a douche nozzle.
Post # 21
Is guy friend had a crush on me and I had eyes for his older brother who hadn’t just recently split a his long time gf of 6 years. My friend went to school out of state which left his brother trying to hang out w me once and while. One day I finally decide to take him up on his offer to hang out knowing damn well where it was going. Well long story short we tried to bet flux and chill and the chill part got cut short when he climaxed a minute into it. He was so embarrassed but I tried to be cool about saying we could try again later. I knew I was probably the first in a long time so I wasn’t surprised. Well he stopped talking to me all together ashamed of his early take off lol. About a year later he finally reached out to me apologizing for ghosting me and admitting he felt ashamed
Post # 22
- Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France
mrsssb : nope not awkward at all! She’s a nice lady.