Gift amount for sister+FBIL from me+SO (POLL)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How much did you gift a sibling / how much did a sibling gift you?







  • Post # 16
    9388 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    View original reply
    hoosierb :  I’m sure its geographic to a large extent.

    I live in a really expensive city: $300 is roughly 10% of what you would pay in rent for a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment.  I.e. if you live here you’re earing enough that $300 for a one time gift to a sibling isn’t crazy. 

    In other areas of the country people use the rule: “cover your plate” which ends up being $100+ per person, more if the wedding is fancy.  So I bet that factors in too.

    My answer was also informed by the fact I have a single sibling and DH has none–it’d also truly be a one time expense for me.

    Post # 17
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Dang some of y’all are crazy generous. I think $100 is a nice gift if you’re not broke; if that’s too much of a stretch, then whatever you can afford.

    My sister and her fiance gave us around $150 worth of registry items, and we plan to do the same for them. We both live in expensive cities and have good careers. If I were trying to “cover our plate” I guess I’d have to give her more expensive gifts than she gave me, but I think that’s disgusting, and besides our parents paid for both of our weddings so I don’t think blowing more of their money means she should get more expensive gifts.

    Post # 18
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    Man, I hope my siblings are as generous as the folks on this board! I’m the youngest of 5 and was pretty young when my older siblings got married (3 of them have, 1 hasn’t). At the time, I think my brother and I went in together on about a 50 gift (like I said, we were young). I expect (poor choice of words because I know gifts are not “expected” and I would not be upset if we got nothing, but let’s be honest) that my siblings will give around $100-$200 each, with the exception of one brother who is a groomsman and less well established, who I don’t anticipate anything from other than him showing up and doing an awesome toast.

    Post # 19
    10225 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Goodness what a lot of money people give,  you are all so generous! Our lot seem to just give gifts not money.

    PS and  off topic but I am  so glad to see people using the verb ‘give’ and ‘gave’  and not the odd form of using the  noun  ‘gift’  as if it were a verb .

    Post # 20
    1537 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have a feeling that some of these  numbers are not too common. Or alternatively everyone I know are either poor or stingy, including me. I would be pretty upset if my siblings ever gave me a gift worth $500. I feel like $150 for a sibling tops. If I was short on cash (like I am now as a full time student) I would probably give about $75. 

    Post # 21
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Due to your financial situation, I would keep it at $100. 

    Post # 22
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I would do what you can afford it’s a gift. It’s your sister she should understand. I honestly can’t remember what I gave my sister when she got married. But I like to give around 150-200 what it typically costs to feed you at a wedding. 

    Post # 24
    9388 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    View original reply
    hibeesknees :  I think given how much you’ve already spent on the wedding that’s plenty generous!

    I definitely gave my answer assuming I was not spending money otherwise as a bridesmaid or w/e.

    Post # 25
    32 posts
    • Wedding: September 2018

    If you’re really worried about it – and are close enough – maybe just ask her what she’s expecting. 

    My sister is younger, still establishing herself, and reading this made me realize that I don’t actually expect anything from her as a gift. She’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and has been a huge help with wedding prep. She’s been willing to take on/organize anything and has been hugely supportive. That’s enough for me, and if she asked me, that’s what I’d tell her. (Again, I don’t know if she’s planning to give us a gift or not). 

    If she were the one getting married, I’d probably go around the $500 range (currently employed, etc) which may or may not include things I contributed to the wedding (all hypothetical). 

    Post # 26
    1637 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

    My sisters and I didn’t give wedding gifts.  We were bridesmaids for each other and “gave” Other ways.  

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