Post # 16
Member
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
hoosierb : I’m sure its geographic to a large extent.
I live in a really expensive city: $300 is roughly 10% of what you would pay in rent for a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment. I.e. if you live here you’re earing enough that $300 for a one time gift to a sibling isn’t crazy.
In other areas of the country people use the rule: “cover your plate” which ends up being $100+ per person, more if the wedding is fancy. So I bet that factors in too.
My answer was also informed by the fact I have a single sibling and DH has none–it’d also truly be a one time expense for me.
Post # 17
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
Dang some of y’all are crazy generous. I think $100 is a nice gift if you’re not broke; if that’s too much of a stretch, then whatever you can afford.
My sister and her fiance gave us around $150 worth of registry items, and we plan to do the same for them. We both live in expensive cities and have good careers. If I were trying to “cover our plate” I guess I’d have to give her more expensive gifts than she gave me, but I think that’s disgusting, and besides our parents paid for both of our weddings so I don’t think blowing more of their money means she should get more expensive gifts.
Post # 18
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
Man, I hope my siblings are as generous as the folks on this board! I’m the youngest of 5 and was pretty young when my older siblings got married (3 of them have, 1 hasn’t). At the time, I think my brother and I went in together on about a 50 gift (like I said, we were young). I expect (poor choice of words because I know gifts are not “expected” and I would not be upset if we got nothing, but let’s be honest) that my siblings will give around $100-$200 each, with the exception of one brother who is a groomsman and less well established, who I don’t anticipate anything from other than him showing up and doing an awesome toast.
Post # 19
Member
10225 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Goodness what a lot of money people give, you are all so generous! Our lot seem to just give gifts not money.
PS and off topic but I am so glad to see people using the verb ‘give’ and ‘gave’ and not the odd form of using the noun ‘gift’ as if it were a verb .
Post # 20
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
I have a feeling that some of these numbers are not too common. Or alternatively everyone I know are either poor or stingy, including me. I would be pretty upset if my siblings ever gave me a gift worth $500. I feel like $150 for a sibling tops. If I was short on cash (like I am now as a full time student) I would probably give about $75.
Post # 21
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
Due to your financial situation, I would keep it at $100.
Post # 22
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
I would do what you can afford it’s a gift. It’s your sister she should understand. I honestly can’t remember what I gave my sister when she got married. But I like to give around 150-200 what it typically costs to feed you at a wedding.
Post # 23
Member
12 posts
Newbee
Thank you for all the feedback! I ended up picking something off the registry that was around $150 + tax. I was nervous about not giving enough, but realize that my participation in the day was probably the most important thing 🙂 Maybe, one day, I can be more generous like some of you bees are able to be.
Post # 24
Member
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
hibeesknees : I think given how much you’ve already spent on the wedding that’s plenty generous!
I definitely gave my answer assuming I was not spending money otherwise as a bridesmaid or w/e.
Post # 25
Member
32 posts
Newbee
If you’re really worried about it – and are close enough – maybe just ask her what she’s expecting.
My sister is younger, still establishing herself, and reading this made me realize that I don’t actually expect anything from her as a gift. She’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and has been a huge help with wedding prep. She’s been willing to take on/organize anything and has been hugely supportive. That’s enough for me, and if she asked me, that’s what I’d tell her. (Again, I don’t know if she’s planning to give us a gift or not).
If she were the one getting married, I’d probably go around the $500 range (currently employed, etc) which may or may not include things I contributed to the wedding (all hypothetical).
Post # 26
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana
My sisters and I didn’t give wedding gifts. We were bridesmaids for each other and “gave” Other ways.
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