Post # 1
Our first wedding gift arrived! Now… what do I do with it?
I’ve read mixed opinions on opening wedding gifts before the wedding or not – “it’s bad luck” or “open it so you can get a head start on thank-you notes”.
The thing is, though, I’m not sure this is a wedding gift. My three (awesome) bridesmaids have told me to be ready for them to pick me up this Saturday afternoon for a surprise outing of some sort. I have no idea if it will be a shower, a girls’ night out, or what. If it is a bridal shower, maybe this box is meant for that and I should leave it alone…? But I feel bad not at least telling my friend who sent it that it arrived and sending a thank-you promptly.
What would you do with this gift? And generally, what’s the best way to handle gifts that arrive before the wedding?
Post # 3
Tell your friend it arrived and just ask if it’s a wedding gift or a bridal shower gift so that you know the appropriate time to open it. Hell, she may go ahead and tell you to dive in.
Post # 4
Open it and send the thank you out. Aren’t you excited to see what it is?!
Post # 5
Open it and send a thank you. People want to know that you received their gift.
Post # 6
Even if it’s a wedding gift you should still open it (at least to make sure it’s not broken and everything is there) and so that you can send a thank-you note for it immediately! If it’s a shower gift for this possible-suprise-shower, well, the same goes.
Post # 8
Etiquette says to open it and send a thank you. If one of your bridesmaid meant for it to be opened over the weekend they would have sent it to another address so they could give it to your another time. Does the box say who its from? If its not from one of the girls the sender meant for you to get it and open it. I’m with zippylef, if your worried, tell your friend it came. She will probably tell you to dive in. Enjoy your first gift!
Post # 9
Wedding gifts are traditionally (and appropriately) sent to the bride’s home prior to the wedding. (Just imagine if everyone brought them to the wedding – someone would have to load them all up in a car and get them to your house anyway!) The bride is expected to open the gifts as they arrive, and write a prompt thank you note to the sender.
HOWEVER it is considered inappropriate/bad luck/bad form by many gift givers to USE the wedding gifts prior to the wedding. And if the wedding is called off, the bride is supposed to return the gifts to the senders. (Which is why they should not be used.)
As far as bridal showers go – the main entertainment is the opening of gifts by the guest of honor (you!). The gifts are traditionally smaller than wedding gifts (so as not to embarrass you in front of the guests) so it’s unlikely that a gift for a shower would be mailed to your home. If someone couldn’t attend, they’d probably send a gift with one of the BMs acting as hostess.
So, open that box up! Get cracking on the thank you notes, and get ready for some more gifts from the people who love you and are almost as happy and excited about your upcoming wedding as you are!
Post # 10
@red_rose: Oh, good point on making sure anything inside isn’t broken. I went to a wedding a few years ago where we sent a set of ceramic bakeware. The bride and groom had a get-together the day after the wedding so people could see them open gifts. They had received our package but hadn’t opened it, and everyone was a little uncomfortable when one of the dishes turned out to be broken.
@UmbrellaMoon: So *that’s* what the bad luck thing is. I can understand opening a gift before the wedding, but waiting it use it. i like that. 😉 And I agree with everyone – best to send a thank-you ASAP after a gift arrives, not a few months later.
I might fudge it a little and leave the box unopened just until Saturday, just in case there was some mistake and my friend meant to have it shipped somewhere else for a possible surprise shower. If Saturday passes and nothing is said about it, I’ll definitely open it. …this is all so exciting! 😀
Post # 11
I second opening it to make sure nothing is broken. My future step-grandmother in-law (wow, that’s a long title) sent me a glass pitcher for the shower and it arrived broken. Luckily, Crate and Barrel was AMAZING about replacing it but depending on the store, it may take longer to resolve any issues.