Post # 1
How do people really feel about saying something like “The couple has limited space, so Gift Cards/Monetary gifts are Convenient”?
I just got an invitation in the mail with this on the information card, along with registry information. The RSVP envelope was addressed but did not include a stamp.
Forgive me if traditions have changed, but I thought it was typically given that registry information isn’t included with the invite, that you didn’t ask for money, and that you send a SASE along with the RSVP information.
Is this the new norm? My little sister is getting married and I told her NOT to ask for money, to not include registry information with the invitation, and that it is standard to send a SASE along with the RSVP. If this is acceptable (how it was worded), please let me know. I don’t want to be giving my little sister outdated advice. I’m certainly no wedding expert.
I know what proper etiquette says, but how do people actually feel about this? Thank you. I figured a wedding website would be a good place to ask.
Post # 3
@MichellePan: My little sister is getting married and I told her NOT to ask for money, to not include registry information with the invitation, and that it is standard to send a SASE along with the RSVP.
This is 100% what should be done. The invitation you got was not only completely wrong, but very, very rude (in my opinion, at least)
Post # 4
That invitation was rude and not etiquette-correct. The advice you gave your sister was spot on.
Post # 5
So rude. I always give cash gifts and I honestly probably would give them a big old physical gift that takes up lots of space and wasn’t on their registry to teach them a lesson!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I wouldn’t let it bug me if I got that (unless I knew that the couple tend to be selfish or self centered) although I do admit, not having the stamp would bug me a liiiiiittle bit. I can tell you right now, I have NO stamps on me. So I’d either have to go to the post office and buy one, or just buy a pack at the grocery store my next trip.
The registry info, to me, is what it is, and I’d probably just give them cash like they want, but not having a stamp, that is a little tiny bit thoughtless. THey could be really strapped for cash, but even with my tight penny pinching butt I’d include stamps! Of course, this is why I’m doing online RSVP’s ;P
Post # 7
I have always received a stamped & addressed RVSP return envelope, except for once. That friend wanted to save money. And I imagine some people genuinely do not know they need to stamp the return envelope.
Proper etiquette is for gifts/money not to be mentioned on the invite. It is acceptable and encouraged to put gift info in the shower invite.
It’s becoming more and more common that I get registry/gift info or a note like “cash is appreciated!” in the formal invitation. People think they are making it more convenient for their guests. I hate to see it be printed on the actual invite, but it’s less jarring to see it on a separate card.
Post # 8
Thank you all. I’ll keep my advice the same then, I wouldn’t want her to offend anyone on accident.
Post # 9
Frankly, the lack of a stamp would bother me more than including the gift information! I wouldn’t include it on my wedding invitation but I also wouldn’t get my panties in a twist over it. I know it’s an ettiquette faux pas, but I don’t care. And gift cards are convenient!
As for making the guests dig up their own stamp- well I think thats pretty thoughtless.
Post # 10
You know what’s really convenient? Spending her gift money on a few six-packs and some nachos.
Post # 11
Im not stamping my Response cards… but I gave an online option to RSVP instead…. does that mean I’m going to piss people off??? I thought since they do not HAVE to send it back, they don’t need a stamp???
Post # 12
@Elky: You do not need to stamp a self-addressed envelope because, to be thoroughly proper, you should not be sending one. Guests who are familiar with proper etiquette should be able to write a properly-worded reply on their own stationery and stamp it with their own stamp, if they choose (as is proper) to send you a written reply.
@MichellePan: The self-addressed stamped envelope is the only respect in which etiquette has in fact changed: etiquette now allows (grudgingly) the pervasive custom of brides’ sending their guests fill-in-the-blanks paperwork to be returned, where traditional formal etiquette banned that practice as insulting. So I would wish the bride in question had foregone the expense of the envelope and R.s.v.p. card as well as the stamp — and that would still not have erased the unpleasant priorities revealed by her advertisement of her registry list and her request for money.