Post # 1
After reading a recent post I am more curious than ever about gift etiquette when you are a member of the wedding party… My husband and I are both members my BIL / FSIL’s wedding party, which got me thinking about the costs of being in a wedding. Right now our finances look like this:
BMdress: 120 + 2 sashes $30 + shoes $30 + shoe dye job $?
Hair: $50 + Mani / Pedi: ~$50
Bachelor party, Bachelorette party, Wedding shower: ??$$??
We are super proud to be part of the wedding and the planning and we are very close to them. We have no problem getting them gifts and will not complain about the costs of the wedding.
Personally, I don’t think it’s necessary for the wedding party to buy gifts. I requested that my bm/gm not give me a gift for my wedding, but I don’t expect everyone to do this.
I’m just curious, are most people out there expecting gifts from their attendants or do a lot of people ask thier wedding party to forgo the gifts?
Post # 3
nope their participation is enough for me – well and buying their clothes and lodging and bachelorette party…. etc. i figure thats enough of their $$…
Post # 4
I think a nice heartfelt card is plenty enough 🙂
I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my sister’s wedding a couple of years ago. I was only 19 and just finished my freshman year of college= no money. But I spent 200 on the dress which was a lot for me at the time. My mother also paid the 50 for my hair 30 for nails, 70 in alterations, and $$ plane ticket and hotel to fly halfway across the country in July. It all starts to add up pretty quickly! There was absolutely no money for me to get her a gift so I gave a nice card.
Post # 5
I had posted a similar poll a few days ago:
Bridal party and wedding gifts.
I am on team “no gifts from the bridal party” … but to each their own!
Post # 6
I guess I’m trying to stay out of the gift-policing business. We’ll treat each gift we receive as a delightful surprise, and not expect any particular person to give one thing or another. In other words, I’m not going to tell our attendants not to get us gifts, but I certainly won’t be hurt or offended if they don’t; especially not the ones who are earning very little right now.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’ve given gifts when I was a bridesmaid. If the expenses of being in the wedding party were particularly high and finances were tight, I might give something smaller, but I wouldn’t give nothing. I’d be surprised if our wedding party didn’t give us wedding gifts, actually, but not upset with them (unless they also didn’t get us cards, because that’s just lazy!).
Post # 8
The last wedding I was in, I figured at the end of the day everything related to the wedding cost me around $1000. However, it was my best friend, and I still wanted to get her a gift, so I did.
For my own wedding I’ve told my bridesmaids not to get me anything.
Post # 9
I’m with spaniel on this one. I think it’s just nice to give a gift if you’re in the wedding party. It doesn’t have to be the stand mixer off your registry, it could just be a little $10 candy dish or something. It’s just a nice gesture.
Post # 10
Looks like a pretty even mix so far. It really does seem to be just a personal preferance thing.
Post # 11
I’ve only talked to one of my BMs about this and I told her that she can get me a gift only if she wants to and that I would appreciate it, but I wouldn’t expect it.
Post # 12
@MsMini – Oops.. My poll / Q is almost identical to yours. Great minds thik alike.. lol.
Post # 13
I’d say it depends on your personal finances. When I was younger I would only buy a shower gift for my close friends. Now that I can afford it, I’ll buy a shower gift, bachelorette gift, wedding gift, etc.
Post # 14
In the weddings that I have been in I usually help with at least one wedding function (bachlorette party or shower). I have always bought a gift for one shower and do not actually bring a gift or card to the wedding. That being said, I do not expect my attendants to buy me a gift.
Post # 15
Whenever I’ve been in a wedding I have paid for a gift and thown in some $ for the bachelorette party and wedding shower but I don’t think going that far is needed but a nice gesture.