(Closed) Gift Etiquette

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would not be offended at all.  If he felt he HAD to bring something, then just a card would be perfectly fine with me.  I just want the people I care about to come and spend time with me and enjoy my day.

Post # 18
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Nope, we had quite a few people bring nothing at all. I had a few people not show or even send a card that we know quite well, which was the only thing that shocked me. Even if I couldn’t afford to send money or a gift, I’d probably send a card.

Post # 19
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m inviting people to my wedding so that they’ll celebrate our marriage and share our day. If they show up to eat, drink, and cheer for us when we kiss, I’ll be thrilled. I expect nothing “in return” and frankly, that whole “I’m paying for you to party, give me a gift” attitude is really rude, IMO.

Several of my friends won’t give a gift and may or may not give a card, but that’s really not why I invited them. 

If your SO is being invited to weddings of people who he doesn’t know well, I can sort of understand his feeling, but if it’s his close friends – tell him to go! They shouldn’t care whether or not he can afford their crystal or whatever, they just want him to come celebrate 🙂

Post # 20
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t be offended at all if I didn’t receive a gift from a guest!  I would, however, really appreciate a card if you decided not to give a gift for whatever reason.

Post # 21
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Agreed with some of the other previous posts here: I mean, if there wasn’t anything, then yes, I might say I would be slightly hurt, but even if I got a card with a note or something then that I’d be perfectly happy with. 

Post # 22
Member
4602 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If they came to the wedding I’d expect a card, I’d be disappointed not to get one. IF they declined the invite I wouldn’t expect anything.

Post # 23
Member
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you’re attending the wedding, I think you should buy at least a small gift off their registry.  $20 or something.  It’s just a gesture of well wishes.

I’m still disappointed by my friends that didn’t even bother to buy a card for our wedding.

Post # 24
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Honestly, yes I think you should at least bring something if you are attending the wedding.  The couple *should* make sure that they have items on their registry at a range of price points.  I agree with one of the previous posters that you could even bring something homemade that costs very little money.  Maybe something as simple as a homemade cookbook with your favorite/go-to recipes.  The only exception I would think would be if I knew the person traveled a long way to attend (meaning lots of $ on airfare & hotels) and they were in a pinch financially.

Post # 25
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@louisianablue:  My thoughts exactly.

I was a little put off by guests who didn’t even get us a card.  You can come and eat our food and drink our alcohol – but you can’t splurge for a 99 cent card!? 

Post # 26
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would be annoyed if my guests who I know can afford a gift did not give one.  I think that’s just inconsiderate.  I don’t believe you have to “cover your cost,” but I think you should give a gift that is commensurate with your financial ability.  Frankly, I’ve spent a ton (in travel, time off, and gifts) on my friends’ weddings in the past couple years and I expect them to spend the same on mine (we’re all lawyers, so they can afford it).  

As for guests who don’t have the financial means, I agree that at the very least they should bring or send a card.  A wedding is not like “hey come meet up for my bday!”  I think the formality of giving a gift or a card reflects the significance of the event. 

Post # 27
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am not offended if they do not bring a gift, but what offends me is if they don’t even bring a card! OR sign the guest book! Sorry, pent up anger. LOL.

Post # 28
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it depends.  If I knew the couple was having financial struggles then I would not be offended at all if they could not bring me a gift.  However you can purchase a card for probably just $1 so I think a card with a very heartfelt note would be lovely.

For most of my friends (who are all lawyers, business people, etc) who I know do well financially, I would be seriously offended if they didn’t bring a gift!

Post # 29
Member
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m not offended by no gifts, but I think it’s worth mentioning that one of my favorite gifts from our wedding was also one of the least expensive:  a “Just Married” Christmas ornament from one of my college roommates. She had to fly in from out of state, so I wasn’t expecting a gift at all, but I really adore what she gave us.

Post # 30
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, we didn’t keep track of who gave gifts and who didn’t. We just wrote thank you notes as they came in, and separate thank you notes for attending the wedding (which addressed gifts if they gave a card at the wedding that contained money). We were married in October 2011, we just received a card with a check last week, it never occured to us that they didn’t give a gift prior.

 

Post # 31
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A card is enough. An inexpensive gift from the registry if you can swing it, or something handmade or sentimental. From a bride’s perspective I’d be heartbroken to find out someone declined my wedding just because they were afraid of showing up without a gift. I’m not inviting you just to get a gift.

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