(Closed) Gift Etiquette

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Since my mom is one of the people who thinks it’s tacky to include registry information in the invitation, I’m instead including on the reception card the address for our website, which does have the registry information on it.

Could be a nice compromise, since my decision was based on attempting to contact several of my friends who’ve gotten married in the past year to find out where they were registered a couple of weeks before the wedding. They were busy, I was busy…just posting it somewhere seemed like a good idea.

Post # 4
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I’m not a manners guru or anything but yeah its bad etiquette putting where your registered on an invitation. traditionally its supposed to spread word of mouth, but I think its more and more "OK" to put it on your wedding website (if you’re having one). I think its ok to put the website on the invitation

for ? #2 you can send as they come in and alot of people recommend it so you’re not stressin later….

 

 

Post # 5
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i would send thank yous as they come in, that way the guests know you got it. (note this is what im saying now before any gifts start coming in!) as for the registry info, i’d say check with the women of your family/ bridal party- how do they feel about it? how would they feel if they got an invite with that on it? my guess is they wouldnt like it, and that is the general opinion about it online, but Some people might not care, especially if it’s an informal wedding. personally it comes across a little greedy but then again we’re putting it on our website & sending our website info out with both the stds & invites.

Post # 6
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

Reader’s Digest version 🙂

As they come in.

No place on the invitation. Word of mouth or wedding website.

Post # 7
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Okay – what if you don’t have a website?  Plus, I have a lot of older aunts and uncles who are not computer savvy at all.  I am not inclined go to all the trouble to make a website only to let people know where we are registered.  I guess in that case people just have to call?

Post # 8
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i’d say if the majority of guests are older/ not computer savy, they’ll know to call you (or another close female relative most likely). has anyone come across people saying you shouldnt register, period? as in, let the guests pick what they want to give you without a guide? (this is coming from my mother)

Post # 9
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I know its against the trend here but I really appreciate it when its included in a invite. I"m really busy and I hate having to call around to find out where you’re registered. Maybe its tacky but it sure is helpful.

Post # 10
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Yeah, you know, I received a wedding invitation in July that *GASP* included a registry card. Since I didn’t know the bride or groom’s parents, and they were busy planning a wedding and moving, it just made it so much easier for me to get them a gift. I understand that you’re not supposed to look like you’re trolling for gifts, but if people are going to get you something anyway, why not make it easy for them?

Post # 11
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • e
  • 10 years ago

i’ve gotten a registry card in an invitation before and it didn’t bother me.  but i definitely didn’t do it myself because i know it’s "taboo."  we just let my and fiance’s mother know where we were registered in case people ask.  and from a guest’s point of view (went to 7 weddings last year~!), if i didn’t know where the registry was, i just gave money.  i personally think money is the best gift because now that i’ve done my own registry, i know that you get a discount for registry completion~! 

Post # 12
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

please send thank you cards as you get them!! not only is it much easier, but no matter what anyone says, people start to worry if you even got the gift starting at like, 4 months. and some people wait a year!!

i’m embossing/lining/addressing all of the envelopes now so that all i have to do is just write out the actual note when i get the gift — it’s alot of time upfront but a) i wanted to do something wedding related! and b) i know i’m going to appreciate it when i get back from the honeymoon and all i have to do is write out the notes, rather than all the other crap.

and ditto what angel said on the registry. i know it’s easy to include it, but it still gives me the heebie-jeebies. why risk insulting your guests?? just arm your mom, Future Mother-In-Law, Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs with this knowledge and it’ll be fine. this is how it’s been done for agesssss…

Post # 13
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Jury’s still out…  but I am thinking about splitting the difference and including registry cards with at least some of the invites.  I absolutely don’t have time to talk on the phone to every guest, and I don’t think that my mom wants to do so.  Our younger friends, who are probably the only ones who know anything about the rule, will all call or email anyway.  For our older guests, who are almost all family, I am thinking about including a card.  Looking back through invitations for my cousins’ weddings, almost every one has a list of some sort – sometimes those cards the stores give out (Bed, Bath and Beyond does that).  (Although I’m not thinking about including the store cards – I was thinking more about having a matching enclosure card that lists the places we are registered.  Maybe using the language  that somebody (sorry, can’t remember who…) quoted from their honeymoon registry website about how the best gift is your presence but should you wish to…. something, something.  Will have to look it up.

Post # 14
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I know a lot of the "etiquette" is really out-dated, but this is one I really have to agree with.  You wouldn’t send an invitation to a birthday party and include a little note that said, "by the way, I’d really like x for my present", and this is the same thing.  People have been figuring out where people are registered for years- before the internet- and they’ll be just fine now.  I bet you won’t get many phone calls- younger guests know how to easily search online, and older guests might ask a relative.  You’ll get your gifts!

Post # 15
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

This is totally just me, and the way I’ve always seen it done and done it myself.

I send a thank you when they come in, this way I don’t over look something or someone.

And I will be putting the gift registry stuff on my invtie, but I have a pocket fold set up, so it will be on an insert and not right on the main invite. I’ve seen it many times onthe bottom of the directions card to be honest.

Personally, all etiqutte aside I don’t find it tacky – but like I said, this is just me. 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I think it is tacky to include the registry card.  I do suggest a compromise.  Include your website if you have one but also inlcud your parents and/or Maid/Matron of Honor an Bridesmaid or Best Man numbers with a little note saying "If you have a question or want some info please feel free to call…"  This way people have someone to call to ask about a registry.  It also can give them an outlet for questions like, "How formal is it? What should I wear?"  or even things like "Can I bring the kids?"  I have recieved a lot of invites without a phone number and if you only know the couple then it means bothering them and we all know how busy you are close to the wedding.

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