(Closed) Gift exchange question

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
46401 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell her and let her choose whether she wants to give them the gift or keep it.

It was rude of them to communicate that decision at the last minute.

Post # 4
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@julies1949:  +1

They called the day of to tell YOU that they aren’t exchanging gifts with YOUR mother this year? Rude. I get that money is tight for some people, but all they needed to do was communicate this a while ago.

Post # 6
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, definitely rude to wait till the last minute to communicate this info. 

Are the gifts extravagant?  Could they be passed off as host/hostess gifts, since she’s going there for dinner?

Post # 7
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@grapecrush:  It is up to her whether or not she gives it.  Perhaps she would rather keep it for herself or return it.

Gifts are not tit for tat, and shouldn’t be bought only because so and so is getting me one. It should be because you wanted to give something.

His parents were very rude, and it is probably something I would bring up with them in a few weeks.

Post # 8
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It is rude for them to change notice last minute. However, it is not uncommon for guests to give a gift to the head of household – although this is usually in the form of bouquets, or food.

Post # 9
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Certainly it is rude to state that you are not exchanging presents — HOURS before. I would say even a week before is still rude- most people have their shopping done (for people they usually exchange with) a few weeks in advanced. 


I would tell your mom. Let your mom choose to give or not to give the gift. I would have voiced your concerns when your future in-laws called and said ” I wish you wouldve said somehting earlier! My mom will be so disappointed she was so excited to give you the gift she picked out”— which would not be rude since it is a gift EXCHANGE and not just gift giving.


But sometimes the future in-laws run by you like a train— and you are just stunned and are speechless. I hate being side swiped by my future in-laws tendencies to change things last minute!

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