Post # 1
New member here! I’m in an odd wedding etiquette situation. Coworker at grad school is getting married and they’re having a courthouse wedding. I wasn’t invited to the ceremony, which is to be expected, but as for a reception, people are meeting up for beers afterwards (not a hosted event).
I was also invited to her bridal shower (2 days before in a text) that had a very strange arrangement! It was byob and bring your own food to grill. I had plans, so I declined. The problem I’m facing is that we (the other people from the office) are constantly receiving texts with information regarding their registry and gofundme set up for a honeymoon. I think I will err on the safe side and get a gift, but honestly this goes against any wedding etiquette I’ve learned. Thoughts?
Post # 2
Yep, sounds like she’s being obnoxious. I’d just ignore it and give whatever I would otherwise give based on my budget and relationship with her.
Post # 3
I’d give a card…from everyone at the office.
Maybe one of those jumbo ones where everyone can write their own notes and well wishes.
Post # 4
That’s pretty awful. I would write them a nice card, but no gift.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
I would get her a card from everyone at the office and get together and get her a group office gift
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
That’s gift grabby as all hell. They’re not hosting anybody for anything yet expect gifts and honeymoon contributions? So damn rude. I’d get them the most obnoxious garden gnome I could find.
Post # 7
Bring your own hotdogs and bring me a present? No thanks.
Post # 8
Grabby much?! Can’t believe they have a registry and a go fund me. Purely to be polite and not stoop to their level I would go for a group card and gift like a bottle of champagne.
Post # 10
Nope. Nope nope nope.
Ignore the texts. If you feel compelled, have a group congratulations card from the office.
If your office routinely celebrates life events like this (has a cake during break time, chips in together for a small gift) then just do what you normally do. If you have already done that, don’t feel compelled to do more. If you don’t normally do anything, feel free to continue doing nothing.
Post # 11
Ehhhh maybe a congratulatory card.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t reward obnoxiousness with a gift!
Post # 13
I’d probably get a card and have the whole office sign. No gift necessary, and sounds like she’s being super pushy which would turn me off from wanting to buy her anything.
Post # 14
I would gift her something useful. A book on manners.
Post # 15
If you like her, I’d still give her a smallish gift to celebrate their marriage. Or contribute 50 bucks to the honeymoon fun. Whether or not they’re hosting a reception, they’re still getting married and it’s a nice gesture. If you don’t really like her, then just do a card, no big deal.
Post # 16
I’m on team “just a card”.