Post # 1
Hey ladies! I’ve been quiet around these parts for the past few months, but I really need your help.
A bit of background: my parents are not and have never been married. My dad is somewhat in my life, we get along ok, but it’s definitely not a “daddy’s little girl” relationship. There is a LOT of emotional baggage. My mom and grandma are paying for the entire wedding (FI’s parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner). My dad has not contributed anything, financially or emotionally, to this wedding.
The question: do I get him a gift? And if so, what do I get him? I feel like gift-giving, in this sense, is thanking our parents for something. I have *nothing* (and trust me when I say I’m not exaggerating) to thank him for. Thanks for being a good dad? Nope. Thanks for helping us with the wedding? Nope. Thanks for always “being there”? Nope.
At the same time, I do have a heart and I feel like if I do something for the rest of the parents then I should do something for him as well.
In case you’re wondering what we’re doing for the other parents, we’re paying for their hotel stays Friday and Saturday night, along with a nice bottle of wine/champagne in their room. He’s not getting a hotel room so it’s not possible to do this for him, too.
Anything super-sentimental is out (I hope that’s obvious by now). He likes to hunt. He’s a lawyer. He’s divorced and dates a lot. He likes to golf.
Weddingbee is really the only place I can turn to for advice on this so I really appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks!
Post # 3
Hey lady =-].
Since your dad likes to golf, does he like wine? This is a neat idea. And not incredibly sentimental, but it’s bottles of wine from legendary golfers: http://www.wine.com/V6/Golf-and-Wine-Legends/wine/88810/detail.aspx
What about stuff from Williams-Sonoma? Does he like to entertain his dates at home? My dad is SUPER tough to shop for, but he likes to fish, so I got him some fish seasoning from Williams-Sonoma and he really liked that.
If i think of anything else (i’ve already started brainstorming for my dad…it’s not easy!), I’ll let you know
Post # 4
Maybe give him the same bottle of wine/champagne that you’re giving the other parents? That way you aren’t leaving him out completely, he’s getting sorta the same thing making it “fair” but its not too expensive or sentimental and thus making you uncomfortable.
Maybe give it to him with a note about relaxing and enjoying the weekend or something generic like that (assuming you’re looking for generic….)
Post # 5
EJS, you always have the best ideas. That’s something I’ll definitely look into!
nonimouse, getting the same wine/champ is a good idea, too. Yes, generic-ish is kind of the name of the game, unfortunately.
Post # 7
Not really sure what to get him as a gift… but you can aways say thanks for sharing such a special day with me and husband X… Although he hasn’t been there for you in the past etc. etc. if he does make it to the wedding- it would be nice to give him a lil “thank you”- I’m leaning towards the golfers bottle of wine… that seems tasteful (no pun intended) LOL
Post # 8
nonimouse and ejs have great ideas!
Post # 9
Hey EAQ, where ya been?
So do you want to get him something? Or do you just feel kind of obligated?
If you don’t really care to get him anything, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It sounds like it’s easy to skirt around that since your other gifts are hotel rooms. (IE. they’re not gifts that you’re presenting to the parents at the rehearsal dinner…all wrapped up.) He might not even give it a thought, if he doesn’t know anyone else is getting a gift.
The bottle of wine is a good, but easy suggestion too. NO need to waste a lot of brain power on this one. Of course you could give him a nice card, pic of your wedding, engagement photo, etc.
Post # 10
Hey Tanya! Yeah, definitely been quiet around these parts. Been busy w/ wedding stuff and moving 🙂
I guess I just feel obligated. It’s definitely easy to skirt around the issue. I think I might end up getting what EJS suggested and a nice card. Probably a wedding pic once the pro pics are in. Thanks for the advice. It’s really easy for me to get emotional about this issue and I just needed some one to say “Do not worry about it” ya know?