Post # 1
This is my first post! I’ve been lurking for a while, but I LOVE the supportive nature of this website. I’ve got a *teensy* internet crush on Weddingbee! Anyway, I have a question about gifts, that didn’t even occur to me, until my mother brought it up today. My aunt is a florist/awesome gardener and is doing our flowers for the wedding. Its basically the bouquets, boutonierres, corsages for the ceremony and about 10 low key [simple!] centerpieces….we are not having a sit down dinner, just a cocktail reception. She has offered to do this for us, and of course, we are paying for all the flowers and various other things needed to put these babies together! But do I need to get her a gift? I had planned on a thank you note [OF COURSE!] as well as a special shout out during our thank you toast at the reception, to give her some recognition. She has not indicated one way or the other that she expects anything – again, she offered, and seems very excited about it all. I don’t want to be ignorant, we are getting gifts for my parents, my BM’s, FI’s Groomsmen, and the officiants [who are friends] I just kind of wondered, if we start down this path, where does it end? Gifts for my bro’s for ushering? My grandmother for doing a wee bit of calligraphy for us? [not invites or anything!] etc. We are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves, and are on a very tight budget [like everyone, I know], but we’re doing this for less than $5000, everything in, for a 100 person reception. We are strapped as it is…that being said, I would be mortified if I hurt her feelings by being disrespectfal – I really want to be a good, ettiquette observing bride!
This is just an honest question – what would ya’ll do?! Feedback appreciated!
Post # 3
I’ve got a much larger budget than you do so I have a bit more wiggle room in a somewhat similar situation. My good friend, who is a makeup artist, is doing my makeup trials, day of etc for free, will not accept payment or let me buy makeup at all. So, I’m getting her a $50 gift card from Sephora figuring she can always stock up on supplies.
But in your case being on a tight budget and still wanting to show gratitude I’d suggest perhaps crafting some sort of thank you or buying a nice but affordable vase or nice stationery as a small sign of appreciation.
Post # 4
I think that there are many ways to acknowledge people without breaking the bank. I am a master bargain shopper. I find amazing things at Ross, Big Lots, 99 cents stores…then I wrap it and people think I’m a big spender. It’s sale season–Nordstrom is having great sales! I also buy jewelry at Macys and JC Penney on sale. I’ve gotten some great things for gifts at amazing prices. You could probably accomplish a lot for a little. Frames are also good. Try the dollar stores and then check aaron brothers too.
It’s not what, it is truly the thought that counts. I nice, handwritten note and some homebaked cookies are always appreciated too. 🙂
Be creative and don’t be afraid to go to ghetto dollar stores. Good luck!
Post # 5
That’s a lot of time that she’ll be spending, and I think some kind of gift is appropriate. It doesn’t have to break the bank though. FI’s cousin is doing vocals for our ceremony (she’s a professional but she’s not charging us). I found a beautiful BCBG clutch for 70% off to give her. Esp. now with sales rampant, you can find something very nice for under $50. Even though you’re paying for the flowers, you’re still saving a lot of money by having her do put them together. I personally think that a small gift would be appropriate in addition to a thank you note.
Post # 6
thanks ladies…you are right, maybe I can go to one of our Marshall’s type stores [we’re in Canada], and see about a nice picture frame or something…they are travelling here from Kentucky, so I also don’t want to gift her with something that’s going to be a pain in the butt schlepping home…I feel much better, you are right, it is the thought that counts. I am so concious of all the awesome help we’re getting, and I’m so bloody grateful for it, it kills me that we can’t splurge on all kinds of thank you gifts – I am one of those people who love Christmas and stuff, and have a hard time stopping! But in our budget, I’ve had to learn to get more bang for the buck. I will def. pick her up a little something, so she knows I’m thinking of her…
Post # 7
@fizicsgirl – this is so true…and this is what my mom pointed out [she’s right!]…we are saving so much by having her help us, it’s just with so many other things running through my head, I didn’t even think of it. A small token will be added to our budget right away!
Post # 8
I’m in the same boat and have lots of friends or business acquaintences that are giving us sweet deals. I’ve been on a baking kick lately and have decided to bake a few dozen cupcakes after the honeymoon and deliver them with a thank you note. I love baking and the cost is minimal – plus, who doesn’t love homemade cupcakes baked with love?!
Maybe you could send a small batch of cookies home with your aunt, or drop a package in the mail (in a tupperware, of course)? Just an idea. 🙂
Post # 9
Ooooh, missmck, what a great idea! If I can leave it till after the honeymoon, I would DEF. be on board with that one! I just wanted her to have something while she was here, but who doesn’t love a "follow up" gift in the mail. I actually just got off the phone with her, and she is SO sweet…she is just really excited to do it for us, I want her to know how much it means to us…I’ll keep the homemade cookie idea in my back pocket…
Post # 10
I agree with the homebaked goodies. Those are always a big hit. I would also try to give her something she wouldn’t buy herself. My Maid/Matron of Honor loves Starbucks but cut it out of her budget in an effort to save money. So I’m going to give her a basket with a bag of Starbucks coffee and a new travel mug (she goes through them like crazy-she loves her coffee!) maybe a Starbucks giftcard, and a couple of other small things. For my SIL who is helping a lot with the wedding (she’s also the mother of my flowergirls) I’m going to give her a few things to pamper herself. She’s a stay-at-home mom so I want to give her a gift certificate to her favorite salon that she can use towards a massage or mani/pedi.
I also love great smelling hand lotion but it’s not something I usually buy myself. And if she’s a florist chances are she has her hands in water a lot. So she’d probably appreciate some good hand lotion and a good manicure set.