Post # 1
I am one of 6 bridesmaids in a wedding for a friend (three friends, one sister-in-law, 2 grooms sisters).
Leading up to this wedding, the bride has decided she wants the whole deal. There has been 2 Bridal Showers (one family, one friends), a jack and Jill, and a bachelorette. Myself and the other two friend bridesmaids have organized, executed and paid for the Bridal Shower, the bachelorette and contributed the most to the Jack and Jill both with time and financially. The other bridesmaids have offered essentially nothing.
For the wedding we paid for our own dresses ($200+), will be paying for our own accommodations (2 nights in a hotel), and paying for our own hair and makeup.
The wedding itself will have an open bar, but no dinner. Rather a cocktail hour with some nibbles.
My question is, how much am I expected to give (if anything) as a wedding gift?
Post # 2
Did you give her a gift for any of her showers? If so I would skip a gift completely. If not maybe a small gift, but I don’t think you’re expected to give anything since you’ve already put in lots of money & time. I wouldn’t expect gifts from my bridal party.
Post # 3
wilsoncraig : Uhm no dinner (and please no one give me a lecture about how you came to the wedding not for the food etc but to see these 2 people get married)? You give her a big fat NOTHING…nuff said!
Post # 4
Open bar and no dinner sounds like a disaster! You have spent enough. A nice card will do.
Post # 5
wilsoncraig : Open bar with nibbles? Sounds like a disaster. I would get her a nice card. No need for a gift.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
wilsoncraig : Bridal party isn’t required to give a gift. Your offering is your time, the expense of your attire, and all the other wedding related costs. Give her a nice card to tell her you’re happy for her and call it a day.
Post # 7
MrsChatham : LOL You beat me to it.
Post # 8
Yes I did give her a Bridal Shower gift.
I feel the same! Either something small or no gift at all. But I still feel like a cheap ass for some reason, even though I’ve already spent a ton and all of my time off work this summer went towards this wedding.
Post # 9
wilsoncraig : You’ve given multiple gifts in the form of parties. She isn’t even feeding the guests? Get a nice card, that’s it.
Post # 10
To me, being a bridesmaid is what would “excuse” you from giving a gift because you’ve already done a lot for the wedding instead. (Maybe I’m overly optimistic, but having a cocktail hour instead of a dinner seems like a weird reason to not give a gift.) I’d give a heartfelt card if you feel odd about showing up without some kind of thing to give; that seems totally fine given how much you’ve already done for her!
Post # 11
Ummm why are you feeling guilty? You’ve gone above and beyond and it sounds like your wallet is starting to scream “uncle”. Get her a nice card and call it a day.
Post # 12
The lack of dinner isn’t a reason to forgo giving a wedding present, but being a member of the bridal party who has thrown multiple pre-wedding parties and given shower gifts is.
Bring a lovely card. If you really feel guilty not giving a gift, you can get the bride some monogrammed notecards with her new monogram for $20 or so. She’ll be writing a gazillion thank you notes so they’ll be useful!
Post # 13
dgirl715 : this is perfect.
Also, when is this wedding? She should really really offer dinner if she’s going to have an open bar. That’s just good sense.
Post # 14
I never expected gifts from my bridal party.
Post # 15
I absolutely agree that a no-dinner wedding still requires a gift of some sort. Many base the amount they give on making sure they at least cover their head, plus some extra as a gesture. I know a lot of people are now feeling a little lost with how much they should be giving since not serving a dinner is not very common.
This has all been very helpful! Thank you so much!