Post # 1
Today I came home to a gift from my husband..stretch mark cream. I’m 17 weeks today, and have gained about 7 pounds so far. Prior to the pregnancy, I was ideal weight, but very athletic and comfortably in a size 2-4. I’m having a bit of trouble with accepting the weight gain, but am not fighting it. Of course, upon opening “the gift” I started crying, and havent really stopped. Am I over reacting or would it make you feel unattactive and fat too? My DH is now accusing me of not being excited about the pregnancy because I’m not embracing the weight gain and am able to have a normal conversation without bringing it up. Please tell me I’m not nuts.
Post # 3
I can totally see why this upset you. Just rememember that sometimes husbands just don’t think. This is why women are smarter 🙂
Post # 4
well it sounds…..like a gift from a man.lol. i’m sure he was just trying to be helpful, but it’s obvious to us as women that it’s a bad gift idea. maybe just explain to him (if you haven’t already) that you’re feeling uncomfortable about gaining weight
Post # 5
he probably read somewhere that women should use it and got it for you! Def use it though! I Wish I had used more!!!
Post # 6
@KH: nope your not overreacting IMO I would have felt exactly the same. Totally inappropriate gift:( I also found it hard excepting my changing body so you are not alone their.
Post # 7
I doubt he was trying to make you feel bad! When my sister was pregnant I was so excited I bought her a similar gift, because I was just so excited to see her belly grow!! I never considered how it might make her feel upset, so now I feel slightly silly, hehe. I think he’s just excited 😉
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2019 - Canada
I’m not expecting, but I am a SUPER sensitive person so i can somewhat relate. I imagine he was coming from a good place but never really thought that it could be taken the wrong way AND you’re probably a little more sensitive than usual. I’d be put off but does he feel like t was maybe a poor choice in a gift or does he think that you should be super pumped? do you have new stretch marks that you maybe mentioned in passing? Or did you maybe mention that you were not looking forward to getting them?
Post # 9
I wouldn’t be too upset. He might be trying to make you feel more comfortable in your own body if he knows you’re upset about weight gain. Everyone toutes how stretch mark cream & cocoa butter make the skin softer and more supple so you don’t stretch as easily.
I’d spin it in a positive light — He’s trying to make you more secure in your changing body. There really isn’t anything he can do outside of that and compliments (Which, come on. 99% of women never believe anyway.)
Post # 10
I think his heart was probably in the right place, but yeah, that’s not the best “gift”.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t be upset. My stretchmark cream cost 40$; It would make an awesome gift. You’re going to gain at least 15-20lbs. With your tiny frame, stretchmarks are a serious possibility. I think its time to start accepting weight gain & embracing the growth we’re about to have!
Post # 12
Men! I would hate that too. That is such an inappropriate gift. He meant well, but I think it was just a “man moment”. Talk to him about it and move on. Sigh.
Post # 13
@Charliejeorge: nope, no stretch marks yetnot hey weren’t even on my radar yet.
thanks ladies. I’m relieved to know I’m not over reacting and not alone. I will take your advise about putting a positive spin on it and cut him some slack. He did read it in one of the new dad books, but I find it hard to believe it would recommend he purchase it as a gift. He was probably just trying to be helpful. Thanks again, already feeling better.
Post # 14
@KH: im around 14 weeks and i’ve been strugglign a bit with the weight gain and changes. i am excited about the pregnancy…but it’s like i dont recognise my body anymore! weight gain and all the symptoms, i feel a bit overwhelmed. and i tend to bring up the weight gain A LOT in conversation, i cant help it.
so honestly, id probably be the same haha. my DH is being sweet though, and just repeats over and over that he thinks im beautiful and he thinks its awesome that my body is changing. It helps me when i have to put yet another pair of pants/a top away as it doesnt fit anymore
Post # 15
awwwww no I would have totally been upset. He meant well I’m sure, because it sure seems “practical” but the reminder of the less pleasant changes to come sure isn’t a happy thing. I don’t think he intended it as in, him wanting you to fix it for him looking at you, he probaby knows that this is hard on you and thought it would make you feel better. I think it was just a boy brain moment.
As for not “embracing” the weight gain. Wtf. That’s just ignorant. It’s going to take some coming to terms with. I think it’s totally normal to be feeling a bit self concious about it. I sure would. It doesn’t mean you’re not embracing the pregnancy. Changes are scary! Nothing wrong with feeling that.
Post # 16
I’d probably react the same… but I do suggest you use the stuff.. and lots of it. It does help.