(Closed) Gift from husband, would you be put off too?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 32
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsPanda99:  lol! Things you don’t buy your wife

– Stretch Mark Cream

– Wrinkle Cream

– Vacuum Cleaner

I agree it’s a very insensitive gift. You should give him a penis pump for his birthday.

Post # 33
Member
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yikes. I know his heart was in the right place, but as a pregnant lady, I probably would have gotten upset too. Men sometimes say and do things that are coming from the right place but are completely off base.

Post # 35
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

I think you are overreacting a bit. But its understandable, maybe its the pregnancy hormones. I’m sure you are thinking he thinks your are fat and just not telling you. And that the “gift” proves he thinks that you are fat. However, I doubt he meant to hurt your feelings and was trying to be helpful. Like someone mentioned, he probably read somewhere to use it during pregnancy to help prevent or minimize them. Plus your 17 weeks and have only gained 7lbs…I would be excited if I was you. To me that really isnt much weight when you are almost half way through your pregnancy! I think normal is 1lb per week or something. You probably wouldn’t gain no more than 25-30lbs. And since you had a athletic body pre-pregnancy it should be easy for it to come off. Quit bringing up the weight gain as well…after awhile he will get tired of hearing about it, especially if you cannot have a normal conversation without complaining about the weight. 

I am not pregnant, but I too have to remember not mention weight everytime I talk to my fiance.

Post # 36
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it was a sweet gesture. I understand you being upset, but it sounds like a total man gift with only the best intentions.  It’s not like he threw it at you and said here babe, slop this on you really need it.  He went out of his way to wrap it up!

Post # 37
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

As someone who is not pregnant and has never been I would say overreacting. But I dont have hormones going all wonky and my body changing constantly.  I would think he knows you are afraid of how your body is going to change so he did some google work and thought this would be something you can use so you dont have to worry later.  I wouldnt over talk it.  He thought he was helping, you thought he was being an ass and now he knows to keep those purchases to you lol.

Post # 38
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

insensitive/inappropriate gift…. yes. However, in his defense, that shit is expensive and I’d be happy to not have to spend my own money on it–even if it was just that one time!

Post # 39
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I totally relate because I would react the same way, but I don’t think he meant any harm. He probably thought “if she’s concerned about stretch marks this is a way to avoid them! i’ll get it!”

Just a man being a man.

Post # 41
Member
7380 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Tell him that a massage better be a part of that gift Smile

I’m sure he meant well, but it isn’t something I would want as a gift from my DH.

Post # 42
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KH:  as an aside, I would start using that cream ASAP. I am also an athletic size 2/4. I didn’t gain 10 lbs up until 26 weeks, but I gained 32 lbs total by 41 wks- I think because it happened so quickly I stretched worse. The cream is preventative, it prepares your skin. 

As far as your husband, he was being thoughtful. I would be happy if mine ever thought to pick anything up for me while he was out. As it stands, he goes shopping for my Christmas presents on Christmas Eve then panics and grabs whatever he sees in the first stores he goes into, no thought at all 🙂

Ps I got my pre baby body shape back quickly but the stretch marks obviously remain. I wish I would have used more cream, sooner!

Post # 43
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@KH:  Aww! You poor thing! Hormones are horrible. That is going to be a HILARIOUS story when you’re not pregnant, though!

Last week, my husband counted the zits on my forehead, and went “You said you only got 8 zits during high school, right? Becuase you totally have 8 right now.”

And ANY OTHER TIME I probably would ave laughed, but I think I cried for about an hour.

Post # 44
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mrspinesol:  Just a BIG FYI: Not EVERY woman gets stretch marks. There are varying factors that can influence a woman’s chances of having them. Pre-pregnancy size, race, age and hereditary are big factors. 

Post # 46
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Uh oh! Right now, I would probably laugh and throw the bottle at him. Add pregnancy hormones into the mix, however, and I would probably burst into tears too.

You know he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he probably just thought he was being oh so helpful.

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