(Closed) Gift from husband, would you be put off too?

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 47
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Aww 🙁  Totally understand you are upset, but guys are fixers by nature – he probably keeps hearing you be uncomfortable about gaining weight and thought that having a way to fight some of the changes would be a good idea.

Good concept, but probably poor gift giving execution. On the plus side – some creams are expensive! I am using the mama mio lotion and it is about $30 for a bottle. If it’s a nicer lotion, then it’s a good gift and tell him he can keep on buyin it all through the 9 months! 🙂

 

Post # 48
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

Aww… I think he was honestly trying to be helpful. He knows you’re concerned about your body a little and thought this would help ease your mind. I wouldn’t be mad at him… and I’d blame the crying on the hormones. 

Post # 49
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

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@KH  I still think you’re taking it the completely wrong way. Yes, you take pride in your body, which is why he bought something that will help preserve the body that you’re so proud of. I think you’re taking this waaaaaay out of proportion. I could never put up with women, and I am a woman, lol. 

Post # 51
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

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@MrsDiddles  She’s already said that she’s an athletic person, who takes pride in her body, and who is worried about gaining weight. This tells me that she probably has a small-ish frame, so she’s more than likely going to get stretch marks. 

Post # 52
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@mrspinesol  Again… as I stated above there are SEVERAL varying factors most of which is heredity. I commend OP on her kind political response to your comments, but I just feel like you should not make generalizations. It could come across as ignorant. 

Post # 53
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Lol, normally I would’ve been upset too!  Except now I’m 38 weeks and after a whole pregnancy without getting a single stretch mark, I’ve started to develop them all over in the past two weeks.  I’m pretty bummed out about it because I thought I escaped getting them… So right now if my husband bought me some cream, I’d probably cry from happiness. Smile

Post # 54
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

Creams don’t actually help with the prevention of stretch marks. It’s all about genetics and muscle tone. However later in your pregnancy you will be grateful for creams to stop the itching! My belly isn’t TOO bad just yet but palmer’s cocoa butter is a god send for when it does start to itch!

Post # 55
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

I can see how it would upset you for sure, but I don’t think it was ill intended. I think he probably just thought he would get you a gift that might help you be less self conscious. 

Post # 56
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Bless his heart for trying but oofff what a horrible way to execute it. If your DH is normally a sweet, thoughtful guy, I could see how he thought that this “gift” would be helpful. I could see my DH doing something like that and then wondering why I’d want to slap him for actually gifting me stretch mark cream. He’s a bit dense.  A well-meaning, completely oblivious man. 

For him to get his panties in a wad saying you’re not excited about the pregnancy though…not cool DH. Perhaps he got a bit defensive instead of just apologizing for hurting your feelings. Wait till you’re both calm and bring it up. Men really can be clueless, insensitive oafs about body image and pregnancy. I hope for your sake he was well-intentioned but severely misguided. 

Post # 57
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

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@KH  I can totally see how it could be an insensitive gift, but I can also see how it could be a really thoughtful gift. You say that you were already putting lotion on every day, maybe he read in one of the dad books that you were probably doing that to prevent stretch marks and thought you might appreciate a lotion specifically for that for when you wanted it. It’s nice to have something on hand already when you want it. Then, instead of just going out and grabbing the first one he saw, he took the time to look up what the most famous, rich, pregnant lady in the last year used and specifically bought it for you. It can be seen as actually extremely thoughtful and definitely more thought went into it than my husband has ever put into any gift for me. Your initial reaction sounds reasonable though, especially since you’re pregnant. Think about how thoughtful of a gift it was too though and try to see how it could seem like a good idea.

Post # 58
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@KH  Sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read your post. One day I think you will also. Sounds to me like a classic, “Don’t buy your wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas” senario.

My gut tells me that he was trying to be nice and helpful, but totally wasn’t thinking about it being a negative thing –inwhich anyone would take it that way! I would feel the exact same way you do and would want to kill him.  Best of luck to him and hoping he’s not in the dog house too long.

Post # 59
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@KH  I wouldn’t care. Fi and I both have stretch marks. And neither of us have been pregnant. I’d just try it and see if it worked.

Post # 61
Member
1138 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ha, um, yea, that’s not an acceptable “gift.” Anything that’s meant to improve one’s appearance should only be purchased by that person themselves, or at the request of that person. If he wants you to “embrace” the weight gain and show his support for it, he can bring you a pint of chocolate ice cream or a pizza! Geez. 

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