Post # 1
So this weekend my hubby & I went to cocktail party to celebrate a couple’s wedding. The ceremony was at city hall and private and the word from the MotB was that the couple her to tell everyone their “presence was enough”.
They did not do a traditional wedding because the bride is expecting and they wanted to be married before the due date.
We were invited about 2wks before the party via email (all the guest got the same email invite). Normally I send a gift ahead of time, but clearly time wasn’t on my side and I wasn’t sure what to even send after getting word from the MotB.
I feel like the occassion still calls for a present but I’m not sure what! They already live together and seem like the couple who already has everything they need. They are not registered anywhere.
Would it be tacky to get them a gift certificate to a upscale baby store near where they live? I feel like etiquette would say this is a no-no since a wedding & baby are two different events. But, I feel as though they need baby stuff more than a gift card to pottery barn!
What would you do in this situation??
Post # 3
I think it’s a very nice thought and there is nothing wrong with that! Or maybe a gift certificate for them to go out to eat somewhere nice. Any gift would be nice.
Post # 4
I don’t think a gift card would be tacky at all — it would probably be very welcomed and appreciated since it will be a total surprise. If you’d like to do something that’s not baby related, you could consider giving them a gift card to a local fancy restaurant that they could use either before the baby is born in expectant celebration or afterwards on their first “date night” away from the baby (whenever that happens! ). I think it’s a sweet thing to do!
Post # 5
I’m not sure what the etiquette dictates, but in the end, any gift is kind. I understand your instinct but I probably would get them a more typical wedding gift, because the rest of their lives is going to be about the baby–it might be nice to do something for them as a couple. Or you could get a gift card to a store that sells baby stuff and home goods.
Post # 6
Thank you so much for your quick responses and suggestions!!
I fee like this is such an impossible gift giving situation! They already eat out all the time and are fairly well off.
Post # 7
A baby and a wedding are entirely different occasions and should be treated as such.
Post # 8
I would go with a lovely, traditional gift. Perhaps some really beautiful crystal candle stick holders or something along those lines. I would recommend selecting something beautiful for their home. Honestly, I don’t know that I would do a gift certificate strictly to a baby store. They are bound to have a baby shower and get lots of baby stuff. I would stick to a traditional gift for their home.
Post # 9
I agree with something for the home rather than baby, if it’s to celebrate their marriage. What would you normally give a couple who hadn’t registered? I don’t think you should let the fact they are expecting a baby change your usual habits 🙂
Post # 10
I think you should write them a check. Then they can make the call on whether they’d like to spend the money on baby items, on something for their home, or put it in savings. 🙂
Post # 11
What about a gift card to bed bath and beyond? That way they could choose a more traditional wedding object or a baby object, depending on what they feel they need most.
Post # 12
I say get them a visa gift card, that way they can choose where to spend it.
Post # 13
Love shaydenise’s idea. Let them choose how to spend and then you don’t have to worry about mixing occasions.
Post # 14
A lovely card and a Visa gift card sounds like just the thing!
Post # 15
Thank you all for your replies!
I ended up going with a gift certificate and cook books from Williams Sonoma (it’s in their neighborhood) since the B&G both love to cook and will hopefully splurge on something.
I’m now looking forward to picking out cute baby stuff for them when the time comes : )