Post # 1
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
My girlfriend from university is going through a painful split with her husband. I won’t go into details other than to say he is a complete asshole.
She has 2 small children, one is not even a year yet. She has been realing and now dealing with single parenthood. It’s only been about a month or so (at least that I’m aware of). We live several hours apart but she has confided in me and spoken with me regularly. She has finally started sharing with her local friends and our other university friends – I’m glad because I know how strong and tough she prides herself of being, but we all need support sometimes.
Anyways, my wedding is in 2 short months and it will be the first time I see her (unless she attends my shower) and I want to give her a gift of some sort to show her I love and appreciate her, that she’s special, and she matters. I saw a necklace on Etsy a while ago I had liked for myself someday and now I keep thinking about that – it’s like a tree of life type pendant, and then you can little leaves with initials on it that can hang from the branches. I thought maybe I’d get her the necklace with the initials for her children’s names?
I want something that is indicative of strength, power… she’s been so strong for her babies. Do you have any suggestions of what might be a good gift? I am not thinking anything crazy expensive….Just something….
Here’s the necklace I was thinking:
Post # 2
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
That seems like a really sweet gift. Maybe you could also send her a basket of wine and chocolates? I bet it would be amazing for her, because when is she ever going to buy herself something like that, too?
Post # 3
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
MrsPhilly: How is she financially? because if he has done the dirty and she is surviving on very little as nice as that necklace is would it be the best use of money for her in her situation?
Also being a sole parent taking care of children fulltime is demanding and leaves little “me” time. Maybe a better gift would be paying for some babysitting?
When my BFF split for her partner and father of her child I made a care basket for her full of food and essentials. She appreciated it much more than the self help books and tokens that other people gave her because it was practical and was what she really needed in that time.
Post # 4
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
MrsPhilly: this is a great idea!! I think the symbolism of the tree will mean a lot to her. Any gesture should be appreciated. I’m sure it will still be an adjustment for her so I am going to give the corny answer and say that listening/checking in on her is the best gift. Nothing material compares to the stuff you share in person or even during phone conversations. its different but when my friends boyfriend died I made it a point to send her flowers on valentines day since I knew it would be a difficult time. You know her best but I’m sure any gesture would be appreciated
Post # 5
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
Thanks ladies 🙂
In regards to money and babysitting – she’s ok. She was supporting him pretty much anyways, paying all of his bills and supporting the family. Her mom is her daycare so she doesn’t need me to find her a babysitter (and I think she would be very particular about who she leaves them with and I don’t know anyone in her town to ask). I don’t have much money to give anyways as I’m currently working an unpaid internship and the Fiance and I are paying for much of the wedding since one of our parents backed out on giving us money at the last minute.
she does love wine and tea… I could get her a box of assorted teas maybe, a nice mug. We haven’t spoken on the phone at all surprisingly. I called her once but she wanted off the phone within minutes… I think she’s only comfortable talking about it in through text right now. We’ve spent hours and hours texting. Until recently, she’d only told myself and a friend who lives a few provinces away… I think purposely because we weren’t near by to talk in person. SHe’s a very very independent woman; the type who never wants anyone to know or see that she’s hurting.
So I don’t want to be too in her face that she’ll feel uncomfortable… I know that she’ll be a bit emotional at our wedding and it won’t likely be an easy day for her, so I want to let her know I appreciate that she’s coming and love her to bits.
Maybe tea, a mug, and the necklace? Or wine and a big fat wine glass and the necklace?? I feel like just the tea or wine wouldn’t be enough…
Sara1923: j_jaye: StephieBee:
Post # 6
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
MrsPhilly: If she is sorted financially then it is a really nice and thoughtful gift 🙂
Post # 7
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
j_jaye: Ok thanks – I wanted some other female opinions… I wasn’t sure if it was a good gift or if it might make her think of him bc it’s about the kids? I dunno. I’m lost lol. I don’t think she’s financially great, but him leaving shouldn’t impact her financially since he was d-bag who depended on her and her family anyways.
I just ordered the necklace – I just needed some female input! I’ll probably grab a bottle of her fave booze and maybe some tea too… She said she’d like to come up the night before my shower and have a mini bachelorette with the university roommates. So if that follows through, maybe I’ll give it to her then instead of at the wedding
Post # 8
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee
I think the necklace is really beautiful and a great idea for a gift. I would write her a really nice card or letter to go along with it that she can read on her own if she wants. Just pump her up in it, how strong and wonderful she is, and how much you care about her. A nice bottle of wine or teas would be a nice gesture as well.