(Closed) Gift opening? **VENT** a little long :(

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Talk to your Fiance and have him handle his mother.  It is not okay for her to insist on canceling your current plans to have plans with her family and only her family.  

Post # 5
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Make it fare, open gifts w/o them! Honestly! When my parents got married many many years ago they did it by themselves and my mom’s personal attendent was there to write down who gave what.  My FI’s parents wanted to be around when we open gifts (they are divorced and absolutely do not acknowledge the other one exists so very awkward) so we are doing it by ourselves. When I asked my parents if it mattered to them they both said “why do we need to watch you open gifts?”.  You can take pictures of the gifts and send them to family so they feel included or after you set you your house or apartment give them a tour and show them what you got.

I know it’s a tough call but it’s only gifts!

Post # 6
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Stick with your plans and invite whoever you wish (both families included).  FMIL can come if she wishes or have her own get together without out you if she wishes?

Post # 8
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

She needs to understand your desire is for the two families to get a chance to meet and mingle beyond the wedding. Put that foot down and keep it there!

Post # 9
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should send out a separate invitation for your “gift opening” brunch/lunch thing.  Many people have a day-after get together, and you could formalize it by inviting all of his family.  That would make it rude of them to decline, plus it gives you the option to word it how you would like!

Post # 10
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Baileyh  Maybe if you tell her that you want the family to spend time together she’ll see that it’s not about the gift opening. I’d also talk to your Fiance about how much you’d like for them to actually be able to visit.

Plus if their family wanted to do something by themselves couldn’t they do breakfast before or dinner after? It’s not like everyone would spend the whole day together anyway.

Post # 12
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with the others that your Fiance should talk to her about you wanting to spend time together before everyone flys out and it’s not about the gift opening.  My Mother-In-Law really wanted to watch us open gifts, this was news to me as my family didn’t seem to have any desire to see the gifts.  Actually when my Mother-In-Law said it was time to open gifts the  dayafter the wedding that’s when my family saw it as time to leave, they just weren’t interested, I mean my mom asked later but just had other things she wanted to do and watch gift opening was not on that list.

Post # 13
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree.. Fiance needs to step up on this one and talk to his mom! Try not to stress about it!!

Post # 15
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

It’s fairly pleasant but there might be a few tweaks.

Since you said your main concern is just being able to visit with his family I would focus on that more than the gift opening itself.  I think you mention the gifts a bit too much so that might lose the message that what you really want is time to spend with his family.  Also, just keep it positive and focus on me language, like

I was really hoping to spend more time with grandma since I’ve never met her before and am afraid in all the wedding busyness we wouldn’t have a real chance to talk.  I’d love to have a casual lunch before my family leaves and not seperate the two sides the day after so everyone will have a bit more time to get to know one another.

 

Post # 16
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Perhaps I’m in the minority, but I think that if the important thing is to meet his family then you might want to be more accomodating.  Why can’t you forgo the gift opening and instead join his family for the Calgary day? 

And I wouldn’t send that particular e-mail.  At the very least, the last paragraph could stand for some serious revision for tone.  It comes across as passive aggressive at best and snide at worst.

 

The topic ‘Gift opening? **VENT** a little long :(’ is closed to new replies.

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