Gift opening? Yay or nay?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 16
Member
47420 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It was and still is, a thing, in some areas and within some groups of people.

I would never encourage it elsewhere. It leads to a lot of inappropriate and uncomfortable comparisons of gifts. Showers are different because they are all about and gifts, and because everyone knows their gift will be opened publicly.

Post # 17
Member
4098 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Unless this is something your family expects and is done routinely in your social circles, I would absolutely not do this. The best part of the morning after our wedding was lying in bed until late in the morning, cooking breakfast together, and opening our gifts ALONE on the couch. I couldn’t imagine having to host another party the day after my wedding.

Post # 18
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
almk87 :  With lots of out of town guests, I would do a gathering the night before. It could be a low-key rehearsal dinner so you can spend more time with the out-of-towners.

Post # 19
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

Nay.  I would just have a brunch or lunch with your family.  Watching people open wedding gifts sounds like torture. 

Post # 20
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

In my parents generation and circles, this was the norm. No one in my generation does this anymore, especially since weddings are now heavy on the side of cards with cash. Out of my 90 guests I received about 3 physical gifts and the rest brought a card with cash or cheque.

Post # 21
Member
14090 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think this is a thing after weddings.  I also only received a handful of physical gifts and the rest was checks, so I think that would have been even more uncomfortable. 

Post # 22
Member
6799 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
almk87 :  nope. That’s what showers are for. The rest you do privately. If your mom or someone wants to see, no harm in having those people there, but it’s not another special event to hold. 

Post # 23
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee

Ew.

That being said, the majority of our gifts arrived over a period of practical (before and after our wedding) so a gift opening event would not have been practical. Thank you notes should go out immediately after a gift is received.

Also, the gifts we received at the wedding were cash or checks. I think it would have been super tacky to open those in front of an audience.

Post # 24
Member
5461 posts
Bee Keeper

I can see opening gifts with immediate family members present, but I would never do it in the context of a party. But some people are weird about gifts, and this might be a thing in your circle. My ILs expected we would come to their house after the reception and open all the envelopes. My father heard this and took me aside to ask if that was how I wanted to spend my first wedding night lol. He was right and we just opened them by ourselves. My husband’s family is incredibly mercenary and he showed them the list of gifts. Then I had to hear about how some people didn’t give enough, they should know how much a wedding reception costs. It was my introduction to the cover your plate concept. I was really repulsed, but our families just had different values. Mine felt it was poor form to talk about $ and his family was obsessed with it. 

My parents just had a nice brunch the day after at their house. But their house was very large and could accomodate lots of people. I’ve seen several other couples do a brunch at a hotel where the Out of Town guests are staying.

Post # 25
Member
1614 posts
Bumble bee

Another nay vote.  No judgement, I just wouldn’t personally want to attend one.  I like the idea of having a breakfast or brunch to spend extra time with family.  

Post # 26
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

Nay from me

Post # 27
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It actually is a thing in some places in the US.  I went to one years and years ago.  That said, it’s totally not necessary and I think most guests would rather not attend so save yourself the time, energy,  and money,  and opt out.  

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors