Post # 1
Ok so my fiance and I are getting married June 16. His brother in Japan is already married but having a ceremony here when he comes home for our wedding and his other brother in Bahrain is getting married June 24 while he’s here also. So my question is do we buy gifts for each other? We’re busy spending our money on our wedding and honeymoon and we don’t have a lot…
Post # 2
Personally I’ve never understood the need for bride/groom to swap gifts (if that’s what you’re referring to) I feel like the bride getting all dolled up in a dress, and the groom in his suit are gift enough for each other! Don’t sweat the unnecessary stuff
Post # 3
maybe I could have worded it better but I meant buying stuff for his brothers and their wives. Lol
Post # 4
Personally I would feel extremely uncomfortable going to someones wedding or wedding ceremony and not buying them a gift even if they are a family member. I would also feel weird about not getting a sibling a gift if they got married and I was unable to attend. Unless of course you all agree not to get eachother anything seeing as you all have a lot of expences relating to your own weddings. What does your fiance think you guys should do?
Post # 5
I’ve asked my fiance a couple times and just get an “I don’t know” lol. But I’m sure we could spare around 100 for each couple. I just feel like we’ll be trading money around. And his brothers make more than we do since they’re in the navy over seas and I don’t want them to give us more money than we give them cause then I’ll just feel bad lol
Post # 6
It might be better to get them a gift rather than cash in that case that way it wont seem like such a comparison if they give you a lot of money. And I think you will end up feeling even worse if you give them nothing and then they give you guys a really generous cash gift.
I would really take your FI’s lead on this one though because it is his family and he probably knows what they might be expecting, but if he’s saying he doesnt know that makes things difficult for you!! It might be an idea to get him to chat with his brothers and suggest that you dont do gifts for eachother, that way everyone knows what to expect.
Post # 7
marina2011 : sugarcloud :
I agree with sugarcloud. I would feel so uneasy and awkward coming to a wedding without a gift specially if it’s a family member. Give them a gift. It does not need to be a ginormous amount.
Post # 8
Well, just trading stuff around with each other is essentially what gift giving is, isn’t it? By your logic, no one would give gifts ever because eventually it’ll just come back around where it needs to be reciprocated and so let’s just not bother at all? I mean, at Christmas or on birthdays, do you not give gifts to your friends and family because they’d also need to give a gift either at Christmas or when your birthday rolls around and you’d just be trading stuff around? Gift giving isn’t about “trading” to get ahead. You give gifts as a heartfelt token in celebration.
The date of your wedding is irrelevant as to whether it appropriate to get them a gift. If their weddings weren’t within the same 10 day span as yours – they are 6 or 12 months down the road, for example, would you be getting them gifts? If the answer is yes, then you should get them a gift because the timeframe is irrelevant. If the answer is no, then it is still no as to whether you should get them one for what is actually planned now.
Post # 9
Alternatively they could just talk to each other about it and see if they think it’s silly or pointless. Or if you’d all like to go in on a group gift… that’s how my husband’s family does things for holidays/events. Just a quick phone call from fiance to his brothers – hey guys, do you want to trade gifts or just skip it?