(Closed) gift question

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Why were you two not invited?

Post # 4
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You do not ever have to give a gift according to etiquette.  That’s why they’re called gifts, not ‘required items you must absolutely buy for someone’ Cool  If I were her I wouldn’t have thought that gift was a shower gift since she didn’t invite you to the shower in the first place.  That’s awfully presumptuous of her!

If you want to give her something else for the wedding then feel free, but it sounds like you were not planning to, and her misunderstanding of the gift’s intention doesn’t make any difference.

Post # 5
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’d just call her and be as sweet as can be (without being fake) and say “I spoke with Darling Husband and there was some confusion over our gift. It was for your wedding. We never received a shower invite, so sorry for the confusion!”

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think you need to give them another gift. 

What did the card on the gift say?

It seems strange she assumed it was for her shower if she didn’t even invite you.

Post # 7
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe she doesn’t know you weren’t invited to the shower? Otherwise why would she think it was a shower gift? I would buy another gift for the wedding- I’d rather suck it up and buy something else than have someone think I didn’t give them a gift for the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you were invited to the shower then yes you would probably have to provide a shower gift as well as a wedding gift, but since you weren’t invited, a wedding gift is the only gift they should really expect 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Who organized the shower? It’s weird that she would think its a shower gift, so maybe she assumed you were invited. Either way, I don’t think you have to get another gift. Either explain its was a wedding gift or leave it as is.

Post # 10
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

Next time you see her, say, “I’m so happy you liked our wedding gift to you!”

You can also add, “We didn’t want to make you have tons of gifts to take home from the wedding, so we thought sending it early would help out.” And smile 🙂

Post # 12
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As a bride I honestly was confused too. I had several relatives mail us gifts 6+ months before the wedding. Were they engagement presents, shower presents or wedding presents?? I had no clue!

I would just tell you SIL that since you weren’t invited to the shower, that’s a wedding present.

But… who doesn’t invite their SIL to their shower?? That’s pretty rude IMO.

Post # 14
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I didn’t have an engagement party or bridal shower either, but my friends still showered us with engagement gifts. Some of the cards said “happy engagement!” and came right after our engagement.

Post # 15
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

With it being that close to the wedding, no you do not need to give her another gift. She also should not have assumed it was a shower gift. Give her a card at the wedding and say I hope you enjoy the gift we got you. haha I’m just kidding. Don’t do that.

Post # 16
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t be offended that you were not invited to the shower. We didn’t send invites to those out of towner because we didn’t want to seem gift grabby. If you are close then it would still have been nice to send a gift which is what she assumed but not necessary. Since this is his sister I would buy another gift.

The topic ‘gift question’ is closed to new replies.

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