(Closed) Gift received before shower and wedding – What to do?

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hummm, I have always thought that unless otherwise specified, that gifts are to be opened as they are received-maybe I’m tacky or uncouth, but unless it says to save it for a certain date, I opened stuff and wrote the thank you note immediately. I know weddings are different from baby showers, but when I had my twins, people sent stuff all the time and I opened it and promptly sent a thank you. I always thought that if people sent things to your house, it was to be more convenient for you to not have to take it somewhere else and then back home again.

Let me know if I’m making a mistake  here bees! I don’t want to be tacky! Yikes!

Post # 4
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If it was sent to your home and you weren’t given any sort of heads-up that you shouldn’t open it, then by all means, open it up and write the thank-you! It would only be "tacky" if you went to the shower and, if that person didn’t bring a gift, you gave them a hard time about it instead of thanking them for what they sent to you.

Post # 5
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am on the fence about this one.  Last week we received two gifts for our wedding.  One was from a distant relative who included her RSVP inside the package, so I felt like opening that one right away was the right thing to do.  The other package was from my Fi’s sister.  We opened that gift right away and called Fi’s sister to thank her for the gift (we sent out the thank you card a couple days later), but she was really upset with us.  She thought we should wait until after the wedding and honeymoon to open the gift.

I think if the card said that it was from the couple (not just the person invited to the shower) and it was addressed to both of you, I would assume it was a wedding gift.  A lot of people send wedding gifts before the actual event to the couple’s house because it’s more convenient than lugging the present to the reception just to have the bride and groom lug it back home afterward.  From my past experiences, I’ll probably still open pre-wedding gifts and write out thank-you cards, but not mention the gift or mail the cards until we get back from the honeymoon.  If someone asks about it directly, that’s a different story, but I’d like to avoid a repeat of the conversation we had with Fi’s sister last week.  Of course, you probably know your friends/family better than I do, so if you think they will not be upset if you open the present before the wedding, you should write the card out right away and thank her for her generosity.

Maybe other people have different opinions?

Post # 6
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it depends on how early the gifts arrive.  If you get a gift in March for a wedding in June, I’d send a thank you ASAP, reiterating that you are delighted for the gift, you can’t wait to use it after the wedding, and you’re looking forward to celebrating with them in person.  If you wait 3.5 months to send a thank you, they could be wondering whether the gift ever arrived.

If it arrives within a few weeks of the wedding, I think you’d be fine to either wait to open it or open it and send the thank you following the wedding. 

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