(Closed) Gift receiving etiquette?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We opened anything we received before the wedding – but you are not ‘supposed’ to use it (we did). If you want to open it, but not use it until after the wedding, do that, but make sure you check it for any problems right away – like glassware being broken.

I wrote thank you cards right away and mailed them, as people want to know you received it. Plus, it means one less thank you to mail later!

I had an excel chart going of who sent what and if a thank you was sent, so I could check at the end that everything was taken care of. Getting those few done in advance really made life easier, but I’m also one that hates having things to do – I wrote out wedding thank yous the Tuesday after our wedding (as Monday was a holiday)!

Post # 4
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

are they coming to the wedding? Since it’s a month before the wedding I’d personally probably send a formal thank you card for the gift and say how excited i am to celebrate with them (if they’re coming to the wedding) then another thank you card after the wedding for coming down and having a great time. It might sound like too much but that’s just how i roll

Post # 5
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If it’s a wedding gift I would say you’re not obligated to send a thank you until after that wedding.  That being said this person was thoughtful enough to drop a gift off early so you wouldn’t have to deal with it after the wedding.  If it were me, I would send a quick thank you now, and a more personal one after the wedding–especially if this person will be in attendance. Sending thank you cards is not only a way of acknowledging gifts, but the time people spend celebrating with you on your wedding day.

Post # 9
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would send a thank you now, so it doesnt seem after the fact. Let her know now that you appreciate her and the gift that she gave. I know your not supposed to open and use, but we did, are oh well.

Post # 11
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

when i got early gifts, i sent an informal email thank you so they knew i got and then sent formal thank yous after the wedding.  that only happened with like 2 people i think.

Post # 12
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@klachance18: “If it’s a wedding gift I would say you’re not obligated to send a thank you until after that wedding.”

This is simply untrue. 

For gifts received before the wedding they should ideally be acknowledged the same day they are received.  The gold standard is before you go to sleep on the night you receive it.  For gifts received at the actual wedding you should acknowledge those as soon as you return from the honeymoon.  Guests who bring gifts to the actual wedding should expect a slight delay as the bride will presumably have several notes to write.

Post # 13
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

A wedding is not like Christmas or a birthday, where presents arrive labelled “do not open until December 25th”. The old-fashioned pretense is that you have a marital home to set up, ready for you to move in when your beloved carries you across the threshold at the end of your honeymoon. All those wedding gifts are meant to help you set up your home, so of course you open them as soon as they arrive. How on earth would you make bacon, eggs, and pancakes for your new husband on the morning afterward, if you didn’t already have the George Foreman Grill and Kitchenaid Mixmaster out of their box and sitting on your brand-new counter?

I actually DO realize that most of you have a relatively well-worn counter, and your new husband already knows how good or bad a cook you are and probably makes his own bacon and eggs already in the frying pan you’ve shared since you moved in together years ago. The fact remains that the standards and expectations for weddings and wedding gifts were established back when the very definition of “wedding” was the creation of a NEW home for a newly-joined family. So, you open presents as they arrive; and you thank people for them — formally — the same day, just as andielovesj says. Traditionally you wouldn’t use them because they’d be sitting on the counter in that new house, or on the gift-display tables in your mother’s house for her visiters to ooh and aah over, not sitting on your counter getting in your way on a daily basis. I think given current circumstances, unless you have space for gift-display tables and visitors to ooh and aah, using things that are already sitting on your counter is not too horrible to contemplate.

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